What are the signs that it's time to separate from your spouse?

I have low libido so it gets brung up that I'm not affectionate. We also don't have sex unless he initiates , but he said something the other night that I can't get past. He had me look at a clip from a movie that had a woman pinned down and said I'm tired of this B**ch I can replace her,... like WTF!? Then said you know how I joke...? No I don't cause he's never said anything like that...were married for 11 yrs Sunday with 4 kids ..he said it feels like we're just friends. Ok well maybe you deserve someone that will be more affectionate but to say that to me was just disrespectful and hurtful...I keep this family straight all these years I work nights no hardly sleep. Pay pretty much all the bills he just started giving me $300-$500 every other month toward some bills, them takes my card right after for whatever he needs during the week. I plan all I trips and pay for mostly all of them. I do a lot and I'm just exhausted not to mention dealing with these perimenopause symptoms etc. I just needed to get that off my chest a little...I mean I feel bad I'm not showing a lot of affection or having sex as much as he'd like but I'm not doing it on purpose...I love him but I don't know what to do

in our community

Have I a right to be angry?

My husband has ‘fallen to sleep’ on sofa. When I’ve gone downstairs to make a night feed, I’ve asked why he’s down here and that’s what he’s said. Fast forward 45 minutes later, he’s made no effort to come up to bed, which means another weekend of wakes and feeds for me and a full nights rest for him. Our baby is stopping out tomorrow and then it’ll fall to me to do it all again Sunday night and then through the week because he’s back at work. To top it off we seem to be back in the sleep regression 🙃 I’m so angry about it all that he just gets to ‘fall asleep’ anywhere and have another weekend ‘off duty’ then complains if he stops out one night on a weekend because he claims to have not spent time with him which I reply if you helped on a night, he’d not need to stop out for me to have a rest!
I’m so tired and overwhelmed so I could be just venting and overreacting but I don’t think I am!

Grieving my old life

Does life get any easier after losing yourself after you have a kid? For context, it’s my husband’s birthday today and we are nerds. He wanted to spend time with our 5 month old son and I while we played magic the gathering at our local card game store. Unfortunately, I barely got to play due to our son getting fussy and ready for bed so I took our son home while he stayed and played. I just realized I do not get to do the things I use to while my husband continues to get to do things and I beat myself up for feeling this way. I love and adore my son. He is the best blessing I could’ve ever asked for. Deep down I just grieve my old self and things I loved to do but now I don’t do them anymore cause I neither have the time or energy to do so. Is this normal to feel this way?

How would you feel in this situation

You’re going through a really tough time and you moved back in with your dad temporarily with your two young kids. 3 and half and 8 months old boys. Your aunt comes to visit a few times to see you and out of the blue she stops by with cheese for your 3 year old. Talking about. Oh don’t feed them junk food. Give them meat and cheese and milk and food like that. Mind you. The 3 year old is a bit on the skinny side but he’s very healthy, strong and full of energy. I know she meant well but it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. This aunt is also struggling financially so I know if she buys my kid something she did it out of care. Still made me feel bleh about everything. Like if you did care enough just ask about his diet. Ask how you can help. Not just drop off food which is going to end up in the trash because my kid won’t eat it lol

My MIL wont shut up about my daughters eyes

MIL is upset because my daughter doesnt have colored eyes and needs to mention it everytime we see them. For context, my husband has blue eyes and my son has blue eyes. I have hazel eyes and my daughter has dark hazel eyes, almost brown.
My daughter will be 2 yrs old in a couple weeks. Since the day she was born, MIL has been obsessed with the fact that she doesnt have blue or green eyes. She bring her to the light to see if she can see some color. She jokes and says theyre starting to become greenish blue i see it.

Today we went over for lunch, she said: its crazy how she got the dark eyes gene. But she said it in a condescending, pitiful way, as if my daughter is not as pretty because her eyes are brown.

She is also so sensitive and a drama queen, if i say something she will start acting as a victim. So i just shut up, but it really bothers me that she sees my daughter as less because of her eye color.

How would you handle this?

My daughter fell down a flight of stairs today in school. She asked to go to the nurse but the nurse was on lunch when she went. She was never sent back and she came home from school limping. She's 7. She was crying in pain and then I have her some Tylenol and an ice pack and she's been running around and doing cart wheels and horsing around with her sisters and seems fine now. What would you do? Not sure if I should leave it alone or what

Help

I’m posting anonymously because I’m honestly embarrassed and don’t really know who else to ask. I’m a young mom to a 6-month-old, and I feel like I’m completely drowning right now.

My daughter’s dad and I have been going through a really painful separation. We’ve gone back and forth between trying to fix things and realizing that things may never be healthy between us. There has been a lot of hurt, resentment, broken trust, arguing and feeling like I’ve been replaced. I still care about him, but at the same time I feel like I’ve lost so much respect for the way certain things have been handled. It’s exhausting trying to coparent with someone while also grieving the relationship and still being emotionally attached.

I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove that I’m growing, apologizing and fixing everything, while also taking care of our baby and trying to keep my own life together. I’m currently behind on bills and waiting on money that was supposed to be deposited. I’m trying to figure out rent, childcare, work and how to provide for my daughter, and it feels like everything is falling apart at the same time.

Lately I’ve been feeling incredibly hopeless, numb and overwhelmed. I love my daughter more than anything, and she is the reason I keep pushing, but I’m scared that I’m not strong enough to keep carrying all of this by myself. I feel guilty for even admitting that because I know she deserves a mom who has it together, but I genuinely feel like I’m running on empty.

I’m not looking for judgment, relationship bashing or people telling me to “just leave and move on.” I’m looking for advice from moms who have been through a painful breakup, financial hardship and postpartum emotions all at once. How did you rebuild your life? How did you emotionally detach while still having to coparent? How did you stop feeling like your whole future was gone? And are there any resources for struggling moms that actually helped you?

Please be kind. It took a lot for me to post this.