Vent/help

Hey mums…. I’m here to write a little vent, maybe to have somebody say ‘girl same’ or just to even say ‘I hear you’…. But I’m really struggling right now. I currently have an almost 3 year old, a 7 month old and we just found out that we’re expecting again… we’re thrilled beyond words, but me pregnant I just have no patience and man oh man is my toddler testing me. I have found myself just more and more completely losing it at my toddler when she’s just doing normal things like resting boundaries, asking questions, doing things to keep me in the room longer at bedtime. Normally I can manage okay, but hubby is gone some nights and when I’m doing it alone, is when I seem to have no patience and I just yell at her.

Tonight was a bad night for me, I had my 7 month old in bed by 7pm!! Great right? Well my toddler decided she wanted a different cup and to do so it meant dragging the dinning room chair across the floor, I asked her to stop, she didn’t listen, I asked her to stop again nicely as it’ll wake sissy, she still didn’t listen, I know have grabbed the chair in which has led to a meltdown and told her she either had the drink in this cup or not at all, and you guessed it, baby woke up. I told her she’s not getting the drink anymore cause she woke her sister up, but she’s full on crying now cause she didn’t get her way. I calmed her down and attended to my 7 month old.

No matter what I did, the 7 month old would not transfer again, I was in there for 30 minutes before I just left to see if she would self settle and went back to my toddler to put her to bed. I’m now doing the bedtime routine with my toddler and I can hear my 7 month old crying out. I quickly finish up the book and song before giving her a kiss goodnight. As I’m trying to leave the room, the questions start ‘but I don’t want to go to bed’ ’why do I have to sleep?’ ‘I want to sleep in your bed’ I tried repeatedly saying to her nicely that her sister is crying and mummy needs to go to her, but nope wasn’t good enough, if I walk away she calls out which keeps the baby awake. I ended up just completely overwhelmed and overstimulated and screamed ‘just go to bed, why am I arguing with a 3 year old’ and walked away.

I don’t know how to move forward and navigate these moments… Any advice?

P.s I feel really bad when these moments happen, after I settled the baby again, I went in and apologised to her and told her that mummy shouldn’t have yelled like that… this is the first time that I’ve screamed like that. Yes I’ll raise my voice slightly when I’m on the third statement or when I’m counting to 3 but never like this before.

in our community

How to parent by natural consequences

The current situation: 4 year older brother has been out of pocket all day, making destructive and mean choices all day, not listening to me and throwing tantrums. Had my last straw when he traps and squishes my 1 year old under a blanket as I was washing the tub clean of cat hair since he pulled the cat in the tub with him when I was changing a diaper. I put him to bed asap and told him I’m closing his door and he freaks out and has a long screaming fit.

This happens like every hour every day, where I walk away from close supervising and all hell breaks loose because of my oldest. I promise I’m doing what I can for his needs, come read my other posts on my profile lol. This is a poll for natural consequence parenting. Cause it makes sense to remove him from whatever situation or remove whatever object he’s misusing. But some situations I just can’t? And the going to bed consequence isn’t enough, I shut his door cause I know he likes it open and my angle here is “you don’t listen to me so I’m not listening to you”. I told him that but he talked over me and kept screaming. I obv feel like the worst parent but I’m just at rock bottom. Didn’t stop screaming til his dad came in to tell him what for and then he was fine with the door closed. He’s sleeping now. We’ve had a fun day playing with friends and good food and visiting nanas and going on scooter rides and watching some of emperors new groove. I just don’t know what I’m missing and I feel so done.

My relationship with my husband

So about 3 weeks ago I started going to a celebrate recovery group once a week. My husband told me about it because he met one of the women who is a part of the leadership group while on a motorcycle ministry ride.before I decided to go he kept telling me I should go and he thinks it would really help me overcome some of my trauma. I went tonight and I was telling him about how it went and he asked me if Judy asked about him. That is the woman he met. And I told him yes she always asks about you and would love for you to come. And I always tell her he can't because of his work schedule and he just told me tonight he wouldn't go even if he could and I asked him if he would come to support me and he said no because he has nothing to talk about and doesn't want to hear other people talk about stuff like that. And then he tells me that he knows why Judy wants him to come and he isn't going to. Then I of course asked him well why does she want you to come? And he said that's between me and Judy. And I said well I am your wife and we're supposed to be open with one another and he said he won't tell me but he said let's just say me and Judy have a lot in common. Judy is an elderly woman and all I know about her so far is that she was abused as a child, had an alcohol and drug problem and her husband passed away about 6 years ago and she is grieving the loss. I know my husband doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem. So I don't know what he could mean like that. Am I wrong for wanting to know and feeling like I should know what he is talking about? Also am I wrong for being upset that he acknowledges he has some kind of issue that could be worked out at celebrate recovery and he refuses to go even if he could? And he told me all about it and wanted me to go super badly but he himself won't do it? He is so closed off emotionally and he wants to sit and tell me about all the problems I have and how this program would help me but he won't do it for himself? I don't know, it just seems very off for me. Am I wrong? Because there are some things that I don't talk to him about. And I believe I should have my privacy so maybe I'm being hypocritical or maybe I'm just being too critical of him.

Feeling left behind

My husband works in London.
He’s out constantly doing different things, dinners, nights out, events, golf days, trips.
I’m at home with our daughter which I wanted to be with her but I’m just feeling like he’s living an extravagant lifestyle and I’m just doing the mundane things at home.
For me to go out it’s not an easy task as I don’t have much family.
I’m really struggling with the feeling at the moment, I try and voice it but all I get back is its work and we wouldn’t have a lifestyle without me doing this.
Has anyone else experienced this and how to articulate it as this has been a problem for some years now.

Back to work

I go back to work in just over a week and I am really struggling with it. I don’t like my job, and I don’t get along with the people in my department, they aren’t very nice, very judgemental and will make passive aggressive comments all day. I feel like I’m consistently having to defend my decisions. I have spoke to managers etc, but nothing gets done. Moving jobs isn’t an option right now either.

I was in bed crying last night about having to go back to work, and I know I’m going to get worse the closer it gets. Leaving my boy, who I’ve been with all day every day for a year.

How did you cope with the initial return? Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated

Am I just overthinking?

So I told my husband a thing I want to do. I haven’t see anyone in my town or surrounding areas that I know of that does this side job. Making balloon arches and backdrops. He tells me to always try it or go do it, but like as soon as it comes to it it’s like it gets pushed off. I told him about maybe doing it at a fresh market, kinda give a mock up about what my “business” would be and maybe get people like that. I understand we have a lot of stuff happening but he tells me I should go to school for business…like I don’t think I need a business degree to do this job I wanna do. Yes it would be great to have the knowledge for it. I just feel like he just doesn’t want me to do it or tries to make it seems it’s impossible..am I overthinking??

Partner unwell, managing baby alone :(

Just needing to vent!
We have a 7 week old and my wife ( we're a same sex couple) has come down with a flu like illness. Baby has a slight cough but is otherwise very well.
To be on the safe side, my partner's been isolating in the spare room to reduce the risk of me or the baby catching it. But that's meant me managing the baby by myself for the past 2 days and it is hard!!
I've no idea how single parents manage!