Do you think being a SAHM is considered hard work?

My 9-5 was so chilled compared to being a stay at home mum. Personally I’ve never had a stressed job that I’ve had to clock into.

Also your husband may be using his “culture” as an excuse to be a shitty husband and parent.

My husband comes from a culture where typically child and home care is left to the woman but a lot of the men in the family have decided not to subscribe to these ideals because the set up is not the same anymore, in these cultures typically you’d have sisters, aunties, grandparents etc all living either under one roof or a very close tight knit community and it’s just not like this anymore therefore the husband needs to help and support more

My husband doesn't think it's hard work or stressful at all🤷‍♀️

It’s definitely not sitting at home doing nothing but personally it’s not harder than work was for me. I’m a SAHM now and I do everything, including solo parenting for weeks on end, but it’s not labour intensive or stressful for me. In fact my oura ring and Apple Watch data says I’m the least stressed I’ve been in years. My job was hard work mentally and physically, all consuming. Being a SAHM is really fun for me.

I do find though it’s judged a lot. I’ve been called a stepford wife by working friends.

It is hard work, but do people think it is ? No, not unless they have been there themselves at one point.

We've been conditioned to think of it as "easy" because it's a way to keep women down. It's something we're supposed to love, aspire to, not complain about. Because it has no measurable financial value it gets seen as lesser than going out to earn money. Stay at home mums in the past were often miserable they just pretended they weren't because rather than make any effort men would just leave and find a more obedient wife. We love our kids so some people don't understand thinking of them as work. I say being a SAHM is my occupation, I don't think it's a job but it's relentless, it often takes over your whole brain, completely changes your personality, every single bit of your day has to fit around someone else's needs and you don't get time to relax. Or even shit in peace Anyone who thinks that sounds like a dream is ridiculous. There are a few women who seem to find it a breeze but they're definitely a minority 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think it depends really both can be equally hard. Personally I think it can be mentally draining rather than physically. I’m thankful I get to be a SAHM but talking to 2 toddlers all day without adult interaction can be a struggle. Only thing I really miss about work, my job was high pressure but I also find being a mum high pressure. If they don’t succeed then I feel like I’ve failed 😅