Is it normal?
Is it normal for the majority of your friends to just disappear when you're pregnant/had a baby?
During my pregnancy I couldn't drink (obviously) or do much due to really intense HG which landed me in hospital on a drip 4 times during it.
My best friend has 2 kids and she's welcomed me to motherhood with open arms and I'm so grateful for her but she has her own life and 2 babies of her own. I see her every now and then and I speak to her daily but I need more mum friends š„ŗš
Is there any mums around mid 20's-mid 30's in Leeds or West yorkshire?
My little girl is 4 weeks old and I want to meet other mums who'd love to go for coffees, play groups, walks to clear the head ect
I just feel stuck and kind of lonely.
My boyfriend is incredible, but he's gone back to work and he works 12 hours a day, sometimes 6 days a week so seeing him during the day or getting a day together isn't often anymore
Sorry for the rant, just didn't realise growing and raising a tiny human meant I'd lose 90% of my closest friends š„ŗ
I just need to rant š„² I have no one else to rant to (mum drama)
So my mums a mix of things, narcissistic, manipulative, self absorbed etc etc.
The past 2 months weāve been living in a different area (1hr drive away) before this we lived 30 mins away, and before that we lived 1hr30m away, all within the span of 3/4 years. When we lived the furthest away, she never visited until my son was born because we told her we absolutely wonāt be driving with a newborn for that long, so she pretty much said we āforcedā her to visit, she was the last one to meet my son.
Living 30 mins away, she only came round to drop our son off (if my partner absolutely could not go and pick him up) but they were never āvisitsā sheās never sat there and had a cup of tea or even a chat/gossip with me (she loves gossip) it would always be what I can only describe as a co-parent drop off situation, or sheāll come in and belittle my home, then leave.
Anyway, so I knew moving away again would mean I go back to being alone most days (my partner works 12 hours a day sometimes longer) I settled with this, she hated that I was ātaking her grandsons awayā Iām currently pregnant with my 2nd. Weāve been calling each other most days, in the beginning it was a joint effort, 2 months later itās like Iām the only one trying to have a relationship with her? I told her the other day I was feeling extremely down and I was struggling with my mental healthā¦something I never sayā¦but I needed someone to know I wasnāt okay and needed help (my partners working away) her response āor no xā like what??? I just told you I feel like drowning etc etc and thatās it?
The past couple of weeks when Iāve been calling her sheās not been actively there you know? Like weāre on ft but sheās not acknowledging a single word Iām saying, she says all the time āI miss my grandsonā I donāt drive. My parents drive & have constant free timeā¦but wonāt make the journey :( she makes me feel constantly unloved and just like I could disappear tomorrow and no one but my partner will notice :( I just want an adult conversation with her, but Iām left feeling like a burden, like āurgh sheās calling againā
How do I stop giving into her? I want to distance myself from her & stop letting her hurt me everyday. Because Iāve done the whole ālet her reach out firstā and Iām left feeling guilty and she will lure me back in with all these false loving messages.
