I feel nothing for my husband…

My husband has been battling depression since our son was born (2 years). I’m so exhausted and he is so draining. He quits every job he gets and has become king of excuses. His laziness is ridiculous. I do absolutely everything when it comes to our son even though he’s home even more than I am. I have been wanting to leave him for so long because I am tired of the responsibility. Life is so much easier on the days it’s just me and my son. I understand depression is hard, and I have been so patient and kind with him but I cannot do it anymore. I’m such an empathetic person so I just can’t bring myself to say the words to him that I just don’t want to be around him anymore. I’m not even attracted to him anymore either. When he wants to be intimate it is literally impossible for me to become turned on and I have to imagine someone else in his place because I have the ick with everything he does. I hate that I can’t feel anything for him anymore. I also hate that I cant bring myself to talk to him about it. Like how do you say any of this without hurting his feelings? I’ve asked him to go to therapy and get help many times but he does not. I can’t just watch him play video games for hours out of the day and do nothing anymore!

in our community

What do you all make of this?

My husband made a really hurtful comment.

We argued this morning but more like he shouted at me because there was a stain on the sofa he thinks I spilled coffee I told him it’s not coffee.
We have 3 small children and I know it’s not great but mess and spillage will happen. He didn’t even ask me or have a conversation just kicked off like he always does without letting me get a word in. Basically talked at me not to me.

He said all I do is open my legs. Possibly referring to the sex we had last night.
He’s not spoken to me at all since this morning since he said that. I feel like that’s such a hurtful and nasty thing to say.

Not sure what to do I need advice

House hygiene, helppp!!!!

Hi guys, maybe abit of a shameful thing to post, hence the incognito, but I’d love some advise please.
Growing up both my parents worked 24/7 to be able to provide for us, meaning house work always fell by the way side, it’s not until I’m now a parent, and have limited time, that I realise I don’t think I’m keeping my house as clean as possible; and I really put it down to living in a pretty grubby house growing up, and never really being taught how to clean? It was fine pre baby as I had all the time in the world and was out the house 99% of the time so it was barely lived in.

We can’t afford a cleaner, but I always feel like my house could be cleaner, but I don’t really know where I’m going wrong…

Can people please drop their cleaning routines, advice, recommendations etc.

Thank you, a sincerely overwhelmed and slightly depressed first time mum xx

Neighbour

My neighbour came over and said my door was dirty and asked me to clean it, so I told him it’s just from the kids but no worries, I’ll get it done. He then said I’m responsible for keeping it clean, so I just replied “no worries” and turned to shut the door, but he carried on saying it doesn’t look good when people come around. That’s when I said, “I don’t need to be told, but thanks for the advice,” and closed the door. The second I pushed back, his face went completely confused and he just froze for a moment, like he never expected me to answer him that way.

Was how I reacted reasonable ?

I’m confused, need advice

I was told yesterday that after living in the same house for 3yrs with someone this is not my house. I help pay some bills, I cook, I clean, I have two jobs, i have a 10yr old son, I help decorate the house because he lets me.. I bought him two tvs and it’s still not my house because I only helped pay rent twice..?
so far this whole year I have been needing my money for family law cases and he’s don’t understand how I can’t even do things I want with the money that was owed them. meanwhile I’m needing up to $700 to travel by myself for this and we won’t come with me because he has work, even when I give him a 2 weeks notice. if he would help 400 of my dollars could go to rent along with anything else I make. I’m just not really feeling comfortable anymore because there’s lack of value and respect, I’m tired of hearing “I’m trying to love you” you either love me or you don’t. been thinking about moving out and forgetting this whole relationship. we met in 2017 and been really good friends and wanted to be more and I believe everything he told me was a lie.
he also vented to a girl about our problems, has a nickname for her in his phone while my contact is saved under my full name. he doesn’t respect my feeling or boundaries, never apologized for anythinggg, and when he talks about his I have to care, he always makes me apologize for being upset with what he did. he never believes anything is his fault.

Visiting

Does anyone else struggle with family never wanting to visit? I thought my partners family would be more involved but he keeps saying we have to go to them. They live over an hour away and my baby doesn’t do the best in car rides. I don’t understand why I need to pack a million things and drive over an hour both ways for them to see her. We have a house and everyone has been to our house / the area before we had her.

The only thing I can think of is they are choosing sides. His mother cannot stand me because I didn’t allow hospital visitors but my own mother was there because she was my support person. I had her stay with me in the hospital, she taught me to breastfeed, helped me shower. She’s an absolute angel and I feel like I’m being punished for wanting my mom with me. Our baby is almost 8 months and my future MIL has met her once. When she came over she ignored me the entire time and said some really rude things. I’m so exhausted from this situation.

As a SAHM going out (could be for drinks, club) anywhere in the evening with your girls/me time) if childcare is taken care of do you ask or just tell your partner that you’re going out?

Please only answer if you have somewhat of a “village”