Is anyone else freaking out about money? 🫠

My partner and I don’t have crazy high income’s as it is, I’m band 4 full time NHS and he’s band 3 full time NHS (increasing to 4 in a few months).
We’re viewing nurseries now and the cost of childcare is really hitting me.
I’m planing on taking 9 months mat leave, a month of KIT days (2 a week for 4 weeks) and then another month of annual leave, I’ll go back on 2 days a week so that I can work the 2 days he’ll be in nursery but I’m so scared about not earning enough.
Do people have really set plans for ensuring their income stays manageable?
Tips and tricks? 🥹

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I didnt get any benefits because i started my job at 10 weeks, so just get mat allowance and my plan is to budget extremely frugally till I go back to work. My biggest tip is quite boring, get a spreadsheet of everything you have outgoings that are essential and have conversations about cutting down non essential stuff. I itemised our shopping and found out we were buying too expensive washing stuff etc so you can try to minimise that kind of stuff as well.

Its crazy expensive! I honestly think you need to earn above a certain amount to make it affordable and as someone who is also not on a high income nothing annoys me more than people saying "I can't afford to not go back to work" when for me one day at nursery would be more than I earn in a day at work! The reality is that a lot of families can't actually afford to work because childcare costs outweigh what they take home. In my opinion, if your income is high enough that going back to work is the only financially viable option, that's still a position of privilege compared with families who are effectively priced out of working altogether.

Rant over as appreciate that's not what you were looking for 😂

Are the two days nursery you are looking at the funded hours? I am currently looking for a childminder instead where I can use the funded hours part time as have worked out I can work more hours doing it that way x

Pause your mhs pension whilst on mat leave xx

in our community

Would you leave, or am I giving up too easily?

Need some honest advice from other mums because I genuinely feel broken.

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and we have a 3-month-old baby together. I don’t feel like his girlfriend anymore, I just feel like someone he lives with.

I’ve barely been anywhere since having the baby, yet he’s been out for the football, the pub, getting his haircut, went out all day yesterday after work until late saying it was “one drink”, is out again Wednesday , and already has more plans this week. I feel like I’m always at home with the kids while he carries on as normal.

We recently had a huge argument after I found links to OnlyFans creators in his browser history. Whether people agree or not, I see that as cheating because he’s lusting after other women, and his explanations have kept changing, so I’ve completely lost trust.

The biggest thing is how he treats me. If I cry, he ignores me, walks past me, tells me I’m crying “crocodile tears” or shuts the door in my face. I don’t feel loved, wanted or cared about at all. I’ll be talking to him and he’ll just be on his phone, it’s like talking to a brick will.

Yesterday I told him I wanted to end the relationship because I’m so unhappy. His response was that he’d rather keep doing this because he doesn’t want to only see the kids every other day. It felt like he wanted to keep the relationship for the children, not because he wanted me, he will refuse to let me end it as In because of the kids so I’m in this and miserable, every time I explain what’s wrong or try have a convo he goes “oh I’m ignoring u till you’ve had ur episode and calmed down “ imagine trying to break up with someone and everytime it’s like they refuse 😂??

Need advice pleaseee

Feeling alone

Does anyone else feel like your doing it all by yourself? Ive been with my husband 7 years and we have 3 kids. A 6 year old,3 year old and a 4 month old. I feel like im doing it all on my own. Ive been dealing with postpartum depression, anxiety and rage really bad. I try to tell my husband how im feeling because he says I can always come to him but when I do I always end up feeling worse not better. Like tonight,I just wanted some time to myself without having to be a mom,my 2 daughters wanted me but with my postpartum I have moments where I feel disconnected from them and don't want to be around them,just want to be left alone and have space. I tell my husband that and suddenly he makes me feel like im a bad mom. Says I can't blame that on postpartum, there's just something wrong me and its not postpartum. I just don't want to spend time with our girls. I try to explain to him he doesn't know what its like dealing with this,that he doesn't understand that this isn't me being a bad mom and making an excuse not to be around the girls. Mentally I can't be because of this. Why can he get sometime and peace by himself but I can't? I could hear him in our bedroom getting frustrated because our 3 year old won't lay down and go to sleep and I can't help but think "now you see what i deal with all the time. Another thing that upsets me when I try to tell him how im feeling,he goes "you don't know what its like working 8-10hrs a day" excuse me? That's 8-10 hrs you don't have to worry about being a parent. I work longer than that by being stay at home mom. I get tired,overwhelmed, overstimulated,angry and want to cry because the kids aren't listening or im dealing with our baby. He doesn't get that I can't give my attention to all 3 of them at the same time. He doesn't understand that it can get to me and become a lot. He tries to say it isn't that hard,but he's not here during the day to see what its like.

3 Year Old Potty Training

Hi! I am trying to potty training my 3 year old boy and I would love some tips and tricks that worked for you ✨️ I am currently doing the "every 15 minutes we sit on the potty" with him but other advice would be AMAZING and so appreciated ✨️✨️

First time Mum’s

What does everyone’s days look like?

For us it’s nappy, feed, cuddle, sleep (mostly contact naps). I still struggle to shower and eat when I’m on my own. We don’t go out anywhere other than the garden, and I don’t have the mental capacity to play with him very much (which I feel awful about). I’ve tried using a carrier to get things done around the house or to make my lunch, but I find it kills my back after 5/10 minutes. Losing the will to live 😣

Potty training with day to day life

Has anyone potty trained quite young hows does it work when your out and about once they are potty trained?
Do you take the potty around with you or just pop them in the normal toilet?
I’m debating start potty training from 1 1/2 she’s been walking since just before she was one and good at picking up communication sign language/ makes certain noises for different things so hoping she would soon learn to communicate she wants to toilet?

First tooth?

Does anyone know if this dark spot I’ve circled is the tooth coming through? He’s 9 and half months and no teeth yet so not sure if this is normal?