Seizure or just a happy baby

11weeks old, there is nothing to look at or nobody making him laugh. First time he has ever done this. Is this normal?

in our community

first-time mama looking for someone who's been through this

Anonymous because I'm honestly terrified to post this under my own name. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to admit out loud, and being this vulnerable is really scary. I'm afraid of being judged or misunderstood, but I'm hoping maybe someone else has been through something similar because I feel so alone.

I'm a first-time mama, and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this postpartum.

During the day I mostly feel depressed, but at night it's completely different. After I get up with my baby to feed, burp, and change her, I can't fall back asleep even though I'm absolutely exhausted.

As I'm trying to fall asleep, my mind starts racing so fast it feels overwhelming. Then I start feeling like someone is standing in the room with me or outside the house. Sometimes it feels so real that I'm afraid to even look because it feels like they're getting closer. Once I check, I know no one is there, but in the moment it feels incredibly real and terrifying.

I've also had nights where I've heard things that weren't actually happening, and I've had episodes where it feels like bugs are crawling on my skin, in my hair, or even biting me, even though there's nothing there.

One of the scariest parts is that my mind starts making plan after plan after plan. I'll mentally think through what I'd do if someone broke in, how I'd get to her, where I'd hide her, how I'd protect her, and then I start making backup plans to those plans. It's like my brain becomes convinced that something is going to happen to my baby, even though I don't have any real reason to think that. I know it doesn't make sense, but in those moments it feels so real.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and was prescribed medication, but I haven't been able to start it yet. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this postpartum. If you did, what did it end up being, and did it get better?

Please be kind. I'm trying my best, I love my baby more than anything, and this has been one of the scariest experiences of my life.

I don't get incognito posts that ask why someone chooses to do or not to do something if they are just going to close their ears and be judgemental

I will never understand why people post incognito on here asking why someone chooses to do something or not to do something... Or why they believe or don't believe in something if they are just going to judge everyone's answers like a twat. Why open it for discussion if you are just going to use it to judge anyway? Doesn't make sense. Yes some people post their kids others don't, yes some people don't... Some people believe in God and some don't, some people wean at 6 months and some don't, some people breastfeed and some don't... These are just some of the bs incognito posts lately being judgemental. Some of y'all need to pay attention to your own grass before pointing fingers because they are turning brown with your bullshit. News flash *gasp* people parent differently 😱 oh wow!!! Who knew?!?! Sarcasm

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After just 6 hours sleep usually I’m woken by my child ripping my hair out hard, smacking me kicking me. A firm no then she has a melt down for hours kicking biting smacking
She does this all day long
All day she goes for my hair hurts me and others too she’ll just go for them like a wild animal!
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