second baby mum guilt

I recently delivered my second daughter a few days ago and I am starting to really struggle with the guilt of not being able to do as much with my first. she’s 3.5 and i’m a single mum so i am all she has and it’s always been just us. to deliver my second i had to have a c section which has left me in a lot of pain during recovery, im unable to stand for long periods of time, run around with her and get on the floor. to help her keep her sleep whilst i’m in the newborn trenches, my mum has been staying with us and she sleeps in with her in her bedroom whilst i’m in mine with the baby.

i miss her every night and it’s starting to get too much, i just feel like im failing her in every avenue and i don’t want her to feel like she’s being abandoned or replaced

my mum can’t stay with us forever, eventually i will need to figure out a routine that means i can be accessible to both girls

i am utterly terrified and i can’t stop myself from regretting having my second baby, i was initially with her dad but we split a short while into the pregnancy and he’s no longer involved, i just sometimes wish i did things completely different and i hate myself for thinking like that

i feel completely stuck and alone

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This is totally normal and valid feelings. Plus your hormones are everywhere right now which adds up everything feeling super stressful on top of it being a new change for everyone and the trenches of sleep deprivation. Take a second to breathe. Try to work on your new routine building a bit each day to figure it out while you got mom's help and do what you can with your first. Explain to her if you havent that you're healing and will be sore for awhile while your body gets strong again so youre limited right now. Play with her as best as you can gently and read books together.She won't forget you love her, it helps to sprinkle reminders throughout the day that you love her and she will always be your special baby too. Remember that in a year they will be best buddies and remain that way growing up together for the rest of their lives. Its a hard season but not a mistake. Remember youre strong and youre capable and you will get better and the siblings will get easier to manage to stay afloat. Hang in there.🩷

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