Advice URGENT
I found out postpartum that my husband slept with someone who had just had a baby four days before I came to see him before we started dating. We were already talking when he slept with a girl, but we hadn’t gotten together in person again. I feel super disturbed that he did this and did not tell me because I got pregnant two months after we started dating and then we got married a little bit later. For a background, my ex-boyfriend who I got back together with. I asked him how many people he slept with a couple months prior after I got pregnant because I wanted to make sure he didn’t have anything and he told me he only slept with one person. He completely lied to me about everyone. He slept with, and I literally found this out while I was actually pregnant.
When we first started dating, he cried to me about his ex-girlfriend or whatever she cheated on him. And then I found her underwear when I was pregnant that he kept in his stuff which bothered me a lot. Turns out he cheated on her first. I also caught him looking her name up on snap when I was preg. But anyways I have seen his whole Snapchat and found out before we dated he was a DOG like he was getting nudes from everyone and like was CHEATING on his ex on snap hard asf. Like idk how to feel. Abt any of this. Like i pretty much got over the nude thing it was just weird. (I downloaded his sc data bc he kept lying).
None of this was from when we dated besides he kept talking to one girl and idc anymore bc I alr got over that ig.
But all of that I guess from prior bothers me bc he’s never honest w me.
Ever since I got bigger like in my pregnancy and had the baby I have been constantly thinking abt his ex and him after like knowing and seeing all that. Like she’s super pretty and skinny and like prettier than anyone he’s EVER been w or anyone I dated has been w and it bothers me. I used to be skinny blond and like hot. Now I literally look fat and terrible and my boobs sag. I just feel so bad about myself idk what to do and I always get so mad abt her. Thinking what he said to her and how much he prolly liked her. And like I look at her page idk. I just always compare myself to her. And ask him about what he did and said with her. I feel so bad about myself. I literally think about what they did together all the time and how much he prolly liked her. It’s so terrible. Ik I mentioned earlier I found like her underwear and stuff from when they dated he didn’t know was there. But like finding out other stuff abt her and seeing what he ordered for her idk. Bothers me. I think it bothers me she looks better than me like ik that’s bad. I can’t stop. And I’ve never been like this only since I’ve like had the baby. Can someone pls give advice.
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Heya lovely, are you British btw?
But hey girl, so sorry you’re dealing with this, honestky this stage isn’t easy, I’ve been there, the comparison and the whole lot, I could talk for days abiut this, but take iy from someone who’s been in your situation , it’s a long road, but you will see yourself how you should again. Any dyslmorhyia you have will leave you! But I know that may not help in the now, so pls dm me if you feel comfortable, maybe I can give yiu my number so I can send you some encouraging voice messages, I’m a good listener also, always happy to lend a listening ear and give you real unfiltered advice back hun x
i’m so sorry ur going through all this. trust me tho (from prior experience) it’s going to keep bothering u. ur partner cheating, finding out new info abt them, etc while pregnant is going to stick w you. DONT even compare urself to her, ik it’s hard but he’s an asshole who has a lack of self-control and morals. plain and simple. ur body has done something amazing and eventually u will get back to feeling hot again. i promise this isn’t the end of the world but its best to put urself, ur mental health and ur child’s wellbeing first. ik it sucks to find out this stuff. i spent way too long thinking abt my ex’s ex and girls he’d get w when we were on breaks. it’s not worth it. best bet is separating urself from the situation, if u can.
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