Feeling sad

Hi everyone, just wondered if I’m being sensitive here.

I absolutely love my 10 week old and every minute spent with him, I absolutely love motherhood and even the crying and screaming doesn’t stress me. For that reason I do 24/7 baby care and the times my partner has him - I want him back!

My partner has started getting angry at me when he gets home from work if I’ve not done his dinner, or done the recycling or other household chores. Tonight for example, I’d messaged him saying I’ve got a freezer meal out for him - when he got back he said he wasn’t hungry. Fine. Then proceeds to get angry because his dinner wasn’t on the table…confused. Apparently all I’ve done today was hug the baby and go to a cafe (true…but I also walked the dog, emptied the dishwasher, did washing, sterilised 10 bottles and fed and changed our baby 20 times!). He thinks I’m just lazing around the house. He says I should just let the baby cry while I do the chores. No.

He’s got angry at me several times now and I’m struggling to get dinner ready and do everything else with the baby. He said “our mums did it why can’t you”. Both our mums were stay at home parents so I guess he’s right.

How do you do it?! I just can’t seem to get everything done, I’m failing massively. I go back to work in June next year so have some time to work it out. I feel under such pressure to be a perfect housewife for my maternity leave, but I do think he’s being a bit unfair saying I do nothing. He wants me to do everything around the house so any tips welcome on how the hell I do that with a 10 week old and a massive dog.

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NOBODY gets everything done, you’re doing way too much! Give yourself a break and if your partner is so bothered by household chores not getting done tell him he’s welcome to do them! Your only job is to look after yourself and your baby right now in my opinion!

He needs to get a grip of his life!

I say to my husband sometimes how guilty I feel that I’m not doing more (I also have a dog that needs to be walked, and all the other chores) I feel guilty when he does a wash or cook dinner when he’s so busy and stressed and work, but he reminds me that even though i feel like I’m “just sitting around”…. I’m feeding and soothing and entertaining and changing and everything else … a tiny human…. Also on little sleep.

Please don’t be hard on yourself and do not listen to him - that is not the support you need right now.

Always here to talk (message if you want) xx

Tell him to try do it for a few days and see how he copes 🫣

You’re not being sensitive he’s kind of being hard on you. I don’t think he realises how much you’re actually doing day to day- maybe it’s because he doesn’t see it but someone is clearly doing the washing and washing up and bottles etc. He could be helping you and that way you have more time to make dinner and other things instead of getting angry and upset. Also he could make dinner- we aren’t our parents times have changed there’s no reason why he can’t help. Maybe he’s angry because his mum let him cry while doing her chores..

You don't. You are recovering from birth and keeping a baby alive. Everything else can wait.

Also he's a grown up so he can cook his own dinner.

You're his partner not his maid. Being a mother to a newborn is a fulltime job. You are dealing with sleep deprivation and recovery after pregnancy and getting your hormones back to normal can take 2 years. You are not failing. He is failing you as a partner and you should be a team. My husband works 9-5, and sorts dinner 90% of the time, he would never dream of expecting that. I'm so sorry he's not supportive. Here if you want to message ❤️

in our community

Am I in the wrong?

We only let my parents watch our 1 year old. Today, while my husband was at work, I went to my mom's house and took a shower while my parents took my baby to the grocery shop. For the last few weeks, I've been struggling with my mental health, and my hygiene hasn't been great because of that. My husband kicked off and said that I'm disrespecting our relationship and boundaries and that he'll be staying in a hotel until I leave the apartment.

We've had issues like this before, but im tired of him not understanding that I just need a minute sometimes

Am I being inconsiderate?

One day

One day my husband came to me and said he doesn't like that I'm constantly asking for help with the kids on days he was originally supposed to work but ended up staying home.
He would always ask what would I do if he wasnt home and eventually asked me to treat it like a normal day as if he weren't here.
I went through a series of emotions naturally but I obliged.
Today just so happen to be one of those days. Once I'm up i like to jump into my morning routine before the boys wake up but he begged me to get back in bed with him.
Not the way he wanted apparently.
Honestly I think he may have wanted to get spicy and because we didn't I think thats where's the animosity was coming from.
I think I'm more so annoyed that I do what he asks and hes still upset.
I try to treat it like a normal day but now he wants me to stay in bed and "cuddle"
I stay in bed anyway and he starts an argument.
I'm tired 😫

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What y’all think.. Is he ungrateful or Am I not understanding ??

Ladies have yall had to deal with things from your significant other that you had no part of. Well let me tell yall what I’ve been going through.
When my dude gets very upset he start breaking shit. I’ve told him numerous of times that he needs to see someone about his anger issues cause it’s really a damn problem then after the shit broken he wants to have an attitude that the shit broken, like it’s my fault. Mine yall he has broken 6 phones and all being very expensive (3 Samsung notes and 3 iPhones), 2 65 in. TVs, a brand new computer desk and the gaming desk. This all since we’ve been together and out of everything this year he recently broke two iphones both his, the gaming chair and table ( which I brought for his bday last year $1200), & tv (Samsung $800)… then my dumb ass turned around and bought it again after he broke it along with steering wheel ($300). He brought his own tv. So mine yall I didn’t buy him another phone since he wanna keep breaking shit. So he been without a phone for a few months and we talked whenever he was around WiFi from our daughter play phone. He was mad about him not being able to contact me and everybody have iPads and tablets and him not having one. So me being me, I ordered him a nice Samsung A9 tablet but he was so ungrateful because Amazon sent the wrong case and wanted what he wanted. Then tried to break it cause the case he wanted was on back order. Then got pissed cause he still don’t have a phone. I’m like well I shouldn’t have gotten the tablet if you gone be like this. Went to metro to see if we can find a new phone cause the places that fixed phones said that his phone can be fix but he gone always have issues with it and it best to get a new one. While there got him a tablet case and no phone due to the one he wanted wasn’t in stock waiting on shipment to come. Went home to see if I can order him one thru Tmobile on my account he didn’t want that. Eventually he found what he wanted at Verizon but still had an attitude cause he had to wait til Monday that just left and it was ordered last week Thursday. He tells me I’m idc if he has things and blah blah blah I’m so over this. Am I not being understanding and accommodating or his being very selfish and ungrateful? I told him moving forward I won’t be doing shit else he’s worse than the children breaking shit then getting mad. I won’t be replacing anything else cause everything I buy he continuously destroys with no remorse so fuck going out my way to please and do for him. I replace more shit with him than the kids. I still have gotten my son a new complete setup but did his twice. Nope not no more. I’m focusing on rebuilding for my kids and fuck trying to make sure he’s good.