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Some people are not withholding an apology from you. They are incapable of giving you the apology you need.
We like to believe that if people could see the damage they caused, they would take responsibility for it and we spend time trying to show people what they did.
But what if the same brokenness, immaturity, pride, trauma, shame, or emotional dysfunction that caused the wound is the very thing preventing accountability?
An apology requires self-awareness. It requires humility. It requires the ability to sit with guilt without running from it or trying to be defensive.
It requires a person to say, “I was wrong,” without blaming their childhood, their stress, their intentions, the devil, or even you.
The truth is that many people don’t lack intelligence. They lack the emotional and spiritual capacity for accountability. They're underdeveloped!!
This is why some people pray, worship, serve in church, quote Scripture, and still cannot say, “I hurt you.”
Not because they don’t know God.
But because they have never learned how to face themselves.
One of the most painful realities in healing is realizing that some of the people you’re waiting on for closure are emotionally unequipped to provide it.
And if your healing depends on their apology, your healing is still in their hands. You're trapped in time.
Perhaps forgiveness is not agreeing with what happened. Perhaps forgiveness is accepting that some people are too wounded, too defended, too ashamed, or too committed to protecting their ego due to shame.
Do you believe people refuse to apologize because they are unwilling to take responsibility, or because they genuinely lack the emotional and spiritual capacity for accountability?
Some people are not withholding an apology from you. They are incapable of giving you the apology you need.
#psychology #forgiveness #masteringthenervoussyatem #selfhealers
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6 weeks in. When does it feel easier?
My little girl has just turned 6 weeks and we've had a really difficult last week due to her growth spurt/ development leap. She refused to nap during the day including contact naps, doesnt settle in the pram so we can't go out anywhere, breastfeeds what feels like 24/7 and has spent just over a week constantly fussing. Today has been better, we've managed to get her to contact nap and she did her first 4 hour block of sleep last night which hopefully is her coming to the end of the super fussy period!
My question is, when does this feel like it becomes more manageable or like I dont have a baby attached to me literally 24/7? I dont mind the contact naps at all but I cant do anything or go out anywhere, I'm always stuck indoors trying to get her to nap. Will I ever get 5 minutes to have some kind of evening to myself without trying to soothe her to sleep?
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