I’m 11 weeks pp. I texted my boyfriend I’ve been feeling down. Feels like I’m failing, unloved and just alone. He made it seem like it was towards the relationship or him and started arguing with me. I expressed it wasn’t and he sees it as he keeps telling me he loves me but I keep saying I feel unloved so I must want to be single and find someone to mess around with or be with idk. But I really just have a lot going on internal. But now he won’t texting me even after I told him I’m feeling worse now. I keep so much inside for reasons like this but I just really wanted to open up because I feel like I’m going through stone ppd.But now I regret it because he just made it about him. My mind is just everywhere rn and I’m having some bad thoughts. I just wanted some uplifting but he made me feel like I just deserve to be in my dark hole
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Girl, it is perfectly natural to feel alone postpartum, you had a baby inside of your body for so long- you're getting used to the separation. And honestly if you don't have support (which from what I'm reading- you don't) it makes it SO much harder. But know at the very least your LO loves you (you're literally their whole world right now). Please reach out to others, there are virtual post partum groups that you can attend, and possibly even in person ones. When my daughter was in the NICU the hospital social worker gave me a whole packet of free groups in my area. As hard as it is, don't isolate yourself and if this is how he acts when you express your feelings all the time I don't think I'd personally stay with him. Somehow it feels less lonely to be single than to be with somebody who behaves that way.