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Moms in their 30’s

Feeling unsupported about my 19-month-old starting Early Intervention. How do you “mom up” when everyone disagrees with you?

I’m feeling really overwhelmed and could use some advice from other parents.

My daughter is 19 months old. She isn’t walking yet and doesn’t say many words. During her 18-month well-child visit, I brought up my concerns to her pediatrician, who referred us to Early Intervention. After her evaluation, they recommended speech therapy, physical therapy, and developmental services. They felt she would benefit from getting extra support now instead of waiting.

When I told my husband she would be evaluated by a speech therapist, physical therapist, and teacher, his first question was whether it was free. Then he told me I should just teach her those things myself. I explained that there’s nothing wrong with getting professional help, but he said “that’s not real life” and that he never had therapy when he was growing up.

I decided to move forward with Early Intervention anyway because I’d rather get help early than wait and regret it later.

To make things worse, later that day my husband’s parents mentioned that I had talked to the pediatrician about my concerns and acted like it was a non-issue. It made me feel like I was overreacting, even though both the pediatrician and the Early Intervention team recommended services. I told my husband about her physical therapy appointment, but I still haven’t told him about the in-home Early Intervention visit because I’m honestly nervous about how he’ll react.

It feels like every parenting decision turns into a debate.

For example, my cousin invited my daughter and me to the zoo with her two young boys. My mom immediately started telling me it was too hot, that my daughter wouldn’t remember it anyway, and even said that because she throws her stuffed animals around, there’s no point in taking her to see real animals. Then she brought up how she took me to Disneyland, Hawaii, and Las Vegas when I was 6 months old and I don’t remember any of it. I’m 34 years old now, so of course I don’t remember being a baby. That doesn’t mean those experiences weren’t worthwhile.

My daughter doesn’t get out much besides doctor appointments, grocery shopping, the occasional park, and birthday parties. I want her to experience new things.

Then there are other disagreements like apple juice, bottles, and so many other parenting decisions. It feels like I’m constantly defending choices that I believe are in my daughter’s best interest.

I’m just exhausted. How do you become more confident as a mom when it feels like everyone around you questions your decisions? How do you stop second-guessing yourself when your spouse and family seem to think you’re doing too much? Has anyone else dealt with this?