AITAH? What would you do?

I became close friends with another mom right before we were pregnant and had kids around the same time. Over the last year, I started feeling like I was putting more effort into the friendship than she was. I was usually the one reaching out to make plans, and I noticed she’d often have time to see other friends or be active on social media (posting on her story) while taking a long time to respond to me. It left me feeling like I wasn’t important.

Eventually I brought up that my feelings were hurt. During the conversation, she told me she felt like she had taken on too much emotional responsibility for me and needed more boundaries. She said she felt pressure to be my main source of support because I don’t have a large support system.

The part that hurt is that I never asked her to fix my problems or be my therapist. I just wanted a close friend who would listen sometimes and make time to see me. If anything, I would have preferred she did less instead of feeling responsible for me.

We ended the conversation saying we both wanted to stay friends, but now I feel like I have to hide whenever I’m struggling because I’m afraid she’ll think I’m “too much.” Instead of feeling closer after talking, I feel less emotionally safe with her. I’m also wondering whether I’ve been expecting too much from a friendship or whether it’s reasonable to want a close friend who can handle honest conversations when life gets hard.

AITA for pulling back emotionally after this conversation and questioning whether I should continue investing in the friendship?

in our community

Social services/ custody

Hi I’m posting this on behalf of my sister.
My sister fell pregnant at 17, ( she’s 18 now her son is 8 months old)
She went through hell at the point of pregnancy.
Our abusive mother kicked her out during the pregnancy.
She went to stay with her partner ( m18) and his family.
Our mother made a call to make several false statements to social services out of spite.
Including her smoking cannabis ( completely fabricated and neg drug test ), and her being in an abusive relationship.
( more on the relationship later as this is the main point of this post) .
Her partner went through a psychosis from cannabis after this, this included a psychiatric stay.
For all the reasons above, including the fact they claimed she lacked insight to the dangers of her partner from his drug use and mental illness, and wouldn’t protect her son from him,
they sent my sister and her son to a mother and baby unit, which she complied with completely and did brilliantly.
She and her son then moved in with our nan. ( very stable household where my nan is a very high band mental health nurse) .
When she moved in with our nan her partner was only allowed supervised visitation with a few people.
This continued for 5 months, this worked well and it was quite positive.
The court then deemed he didn’t need supervision.
This is where things have gone south.
My sister still does not feel comfortable with him having him unsupervised.
There’s several reasons why.
Including us all seeing evidence of him still dealing drugs, and still consuming cannabis.
Him wanting his drug participating friends to meet his son.
Him wanting his child when and where he wants, this is mainly at his family home.
My sister doesn’t want her son at the family home as she has had a fallout with his mother, and the whole family slate her for not letting her partner have unsupervised contact, this included his uncle shouting at my sister while she had her child in her arms.
The mother has also made several out of pocket comments, and is the exact typical “terrible mother in law” “boy mom” you hear about.
She’s also still anxious about leaving her son alone with anyone.
They all think this seems to be her being controlling and her having anxiety, but I think it’s quite a common thing for a mother to not want to leave there young child?
He wants to take his son to his house, no compromise is good enough for him.
My sister has allowed his mother contact in a neutral place and all went well. He has a strop and didn’t show as it wasn’t at his house/ town like he wanted.

This has happened several times, it’s his way or the highway.

Bare in mind that he has limited from of transportation and 9/10 my family has to pick him up or drop him off and we have been extremely accommodating, but he expects it, and isn’t thankful, he think it’s his given right.
I have just listened into the social services teams meeting, with my sisters social worker, his mental health worker, and a student social worker.
It was the most disturbing thing I have ever heard.
All 3 of them were ganging up on my sister, completely in her partners favour of him being able to take him wherever he wants, and have him whenever he wants.
She unfortunately didn’t screenshot the proof of his dealing, and they won’t take her word for verbatim.
They also don’t mind him smoking weed regardless of the past psychosis history.
His mental health worker said that her partners “low mood” is due to him not being able to see his son.
They were all shaking there head at every work my sister said.
Her partner is extremely manipulative and has them all wrapped around his finger.
He has conveniently screenshotted every time Jamie has reacted in anger to his behaviour.
My sister does want him to have a relationship with her son, and unfortunately didn’t screenshot his drug dealing or notify them, but she ultimately wants it to work out and doesn’t want him to not be able to see him, she just doesn’t want it in his mothers house for the time being, or any of his “badman” little friends.
All the social works etc said they “only advice” but 100% are on the boyfriends side and very much seem to dislike my sister. When she is (unbiased of me) a brilliant mother regardless of her age, she is severely independent, and her son is thriving and definitely has a secure attachment.
They all suggested the partner get “legal advice” for custody.
And said “not to scare you but if he does get custody then the police will be able to take him away from you” my sister broke down crying and ended the meeting out of pure frustration.
I think the fact they’ve completely switched up from him being the main issue my sister needed social services involved, to now she’s being “too overprotective” and controlling.
And she’s the one making the contact limited and refusing him to let him see his son.
When she is the one doing all the work for him to not show up most the time!
It’s extremely exhausting and I feel like they are licking that boys arse, just because he’s a younger lad that does want to see his son, and they aren’t very used to that.
And the fact he’s extremely manipulative and clever about it, and my sister’s a stressed out mother doing it all alone, and doesn’t try to do that, as she doesn’t want him to not see him.
She has also recently been diagnosed with ADHD.
But his “low mood” still trumps everything.
From my personal experience with him, he appeared nice the first couple times, then I clocked the lies. He’s a pathological liar.
He showed up outside my house when my sister was here and refused to leave for hours until he saw his son.
He goes into constant moods and affects everyone’s mood.
I believe he might be a narcissist.
Does anyone have any experience with social workers being biast?
Or experience with court in a similar situation?

My sister is terrified he will be able to take her son.
I can’t do anything to help and it’s breaking my heart.

Calling secondary school teachers

My boy was born prematurely and therefore was born in August instead of October.

We have to apply for schools this year (a year earlier than we thought due to him being premature) and thus need to consider whether or not to apply for a deferred entry (so he starts reception the following year).

This will ultimately means he is technically a year behind in school but actually only 3 days older than a child born on the 1st of September.

His development is great, very normal for his age but I am considering the deferred entry due to him being so young in the year.

My fear of doing this is that he'll get bullied in secondary school for being 'kept behind a year' 'he's so dumb' that kind of thing.

Just curious to see whether any secondary school teachers on here have experience with this?

I'd never forgive myself if we did keep him back and then got bullied for it!!!

Ending breastfeeding

I’d like to stop breastfeeding my 16 month old however we still feed to sleep and have never done any sleep training. Any advice? Should I just go cold turkey on both and expect a rough few nights or would it be better to sleep train and then stop breastfeeding?

4 am rant im disgusted

i take care of her all the time she’s 8 months old. he “works” from home i still do it all. the only thing he does is take her in the mornings but he used to not even do that for the longest time. and hes got me half awake the whole time because he loudly complains for 10 minutes before taking her downstairs. i cook i clean ive been exhausted going to doctors he knows this

she hasnt been sleeping good i gave her an amazing day with my family and been absolutely exhausted. her and i both for the first time ever napped 3 hours from 12-3 yesterday because we needed it. she’s been up from 2:30-3:45 with me ive been trying to get her to bed. he says “its because you guys slept” all mad. i ignore it. she falls asleep nursing because he never fucking helped me for months in the beginning so i had to do what i had to do. i slid her around to face me because shes crawling all over the bed OBVIOUSLY SAFELY i have such a happy healthy baby thanks to me. and he puts his hand around my wrist and throws my arm back. starts YELLING at me to not “whip her around” and when i tell him to be quiet so she doesnt get more woken up he keeps yelling shit. yhen says “come to daddy” and pulls her toward him. idk what i said probably something along the lines of i cant take this i go to walk out the room and he says for me to “leave tomorrow”
which he loves to say and i say he’s a little boy. he goes “i’ll spit on you”????? are you fucking kidding me? i say he’s trash (because him and his whole family are its disgusting) and go downstairs. gave him 10 mins to try to put her to bed now shes crying because shes hardly used to him. he cant do anything i cant believe he said that shit to me. i know i sound pissed but im venting on here because idk what else to do and dont feel like engaging with him

“Soon he won’t want you, he’ll be wanting me instead!”

Have any of you had a MIL that says, “soon he wont want you, he’ll be wanting me instead!” or anything similar?

When my baby was less than 5 months old, she was holding him, and when I asked for him back because he was showing early hunger queues this is when she stated “Soon he wont be wanting you, he’ll be wanting me instead”.

This comment has haunted me for 2.5 years, plus her behaviour seems to match this statement. She makes me out to be “the bad guy” in front of my son, making me either give in and allow him to have cake whenever she’s around or I have to say no he’s not having cake in front of him (which then causes tantrums) or saying things like, “oh no, whats mummy done now” to him when he’s crying because I’ve got him dressed/changed his nappy/made him have a bath.

Do you think my child will stop loving me? Will he want her instead of me? Is this normal?

Coping in this heat?

Really struggling with the heat, our maisonette is upstairs above garages and we can’t cool it down, we’ve tried everything and ALL air con units seem to be out of stock, can’t get the rooms cooler than 29 degrees in the day time and about 25 degrees in the evening! Baby won’t settle in her cot in the day, only on me but surely my body temp isn’t helping her cool down! she’s 5 weeks old today and has basically been living in just a nappy the majority of her life! We even went to stay at my mums for a couple weeks while my partner was off work because it’s a little cooler there but he’s back to work soon and I don’t know how I’m going to manage, she spends most of the day awake and i can’t settle her for a nap- assuming it’s because of the heat. Other than that she seems healthy- plenty of feeds, plenty of wet and dirty nappies she’s gained about 4 pound since birth but I just feel guilty for not being able to cool the place down and keep her as comfortable as possible🥺