I started to potty train today and of course the first day is stressful and wont get it right,right away. My mother kept telling how to do it,but I told her how am doing it. Made a comment that how am doing is more messier and made it seem am supposed to succeed potty training in one day. My mother in law is a ok person,but I don't ever go to her when it comes to raising kids advice. Husband comes home from work, talks to his mom and basically advice me to use his moms way. I felt so angry. Is not the first time i told him how I want to do certain things with raising our girl,but he always asks his mom for a second opinion and seems to want to do things her way. Had the nerve to even say " you really don't want advice from my mom", am like u know already how I feel about his mom when it comes to raising kids. He has a older sister who also agrees with me. His mom didn't really raise him. She worked a lot and had to put the kids in daycare and family member care. He has two younger sister one is a asswhole, she makes excuses for her behavior and the other one is spoil and use thier mom for money or other shit. My mother respects how I want to try and raise our girl. I usually would agree with what my husband wants,but when he asks him mom it hurts. Last time I checked am the mother not her. I feel so angry for him not supporting how I want to try I even told him I asked more then one person on different methods of potty training. Did the one that i heard the most. I hate when he chose not to trust the things I want to try. Why is it when men don't have great moms they still feel the need to ask them for advice.
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This sounds really immature, no offence you’re all adults! Start acting like it . Mum that’s your baby not your mother in laws , put your foot down and stop telling your husband everything so he can tell his mum 🙄 if you want peace in your house just let her talk , you don’t have to do everything she says.

I didn't tell him to tell his mom, he got home and went to talk to his mom. He then come to me about what she said. And yes I made it clear were doing it my way, I was venting and just asking why do men feel the need to ask them for advice.

Your issue isn’t with your MIL or other people telling you how to parent it’s about how you and your husband aren’t a team. Thats fundamental. Foundational. You’s both make decisions together as one.

Potty training not the problem, you have to be firm and tell your husband you and him are the parents now. Thats it, he can go asking advice from mom but at the end of the day its up to you both. So if he isn’t sure he should try your own choice first not moms choice

I agree with being a team,will have another talk with him and will be firm

It sounds as though you’re struggling with your voice not being heard which your husband should be helping with. No need to get into it with your mother in law or even speak about it with his sister, the best thing you can do is just say ‘oh great thanks for sharing what worked for you, I’ll keep that in mind’ and then do your own thing. No need to discuss.
I do think its cruel of you to say she didnt raise him though, if thats based purely on the fact she had to work and send him to daycare/family… perhaps that shows there are deeper issues between you.
Try and stay calm for the sake of your toddler, remember all you need to worry about is what happens in your own home, the rest is just noise

In unhealthy, dysfunctional families, they’ll excuse bad behaviour to keep the peace. I wouldn’t be surprised if your husband was told by his mum to tell you to listen to her advice. Rather than even think about your feelings, it’s just ingrained into them to do what the narcissistic mother says. It’s hard but to keep your peace, ignore them, avoid them. Tell your partner your boundaries.
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