Should I stay or should I go?
I’m half way in and half way out of my marriage at this point. I do not feel like I have a genuine partner. He gets defensive over things so easily, can never take accountability, and has issues with my family. The drama is endless with him. He was previously arrested (all charges dropped and erased from his record), he attempted to fight my father, he’s a full blown alcoholic but refuses to get help, the list goes on. I would love to leave but i’m terrified of being forced to share custody of our two small children. We have a 3-year-old daughter and 3-month-old son. My husband works a ton of hours to the point I sometimes go days without seeing him, sometimes even a full week. His schedule is all over the place but he makes very good money so I handle home life. If I do leave…what are the odds of him getting any custody if there’s proof of his drinking including while driving? I worry about their safety, and me staying at least guarantees they’re safe cause i’m always present. Help. I’m in NJ if that helps at all. Also ask any questions, i’ll give further info just didn’t want this to be super long.
Why can I not do basic things I need to do
I'm really embarrassed to admit it but at the moment I'm only showering maybe once or twice a week. I can't bring myself to brush my hair, so that only gets done maybe once a week, and I can only make myself brush my teeth at night before bed, but it's a massive mental struggle. I barely drink water, I barely leave the house, I just feel so burnt out. Any time I get a free moment that I could use to do these things, I end up just sleeping or trying to catch up on housework instead. I just feel like the overall running of the house is more important than me showering or getting myself clean and tidy. I have 2 children, one is 3 and the other is 10 weeks old. I don't even have the reasoning of breastfeeding because I'm not doing that anymore, so baby is on formula bottles in a pretty predictable schedule, so I always know when she'll be down for a nap after a feed. But it's like I just get paralysed by all the things I need to do in the house, or trying to squeeze in time with my 3yo, that my own self care just isn't a priority. It's not even on the list anymore. I'm so tired and feel like I can't stand the look of myself at the moment either, which I know is common postpartum. I just hate my weight, I hate how long and scraggly my hair is, I hate my nails growing uneven, I hate my hair legs and armpits but shaving is another chore I cannot face. I just feel fed up.
But after saying all that, my kids are well looked after, I bathe them every other day, brush teeth morning and night, nails trimmed etc. It just feels like that's my priority right now and my own self care is a massive chore.
Please don't judge I know some people will have something horrible to say
Really struggling..
Is anyone else finding this age the hardest? He’s 9 months in just under 2 weeks and everything is impossible. He cries at everything, morning to night. He doesn’t want to play, at all. Cries in the pram, cries in the car. I’ve given anbesol, I’ve given calpol. He just doesn’t want to do anything. I’ve had to resort to screen time on the tv, it’s the only thing that seems to calm him a little…
I just don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like he’s not like other babies. It’s been like this for months but I feel like he’s getting worse.
Drs have told me it’s normal, developmental, teething… I just don’t know what to do, my mental health is taking a massive toll, I cry every day.. sometimes with him. Why doesn’t he want to play?😢😢😢
