Should I stay or should I go?

I’m half way in and half way out of my marriage at this point. I do not feel like I have a genuine partner. He gets defensive over things so easily, can never take accountability, and has issues with my family. The drama is endless with him. He was previously arrested (all charges dropped and erased from his record), he attempted to fight my father, he’s a full blown alcoholic but refuses to get help, the list goes on. I would love to leave but i’m terrified of being forced to share custody of our two small children. We have a 3-year-old daughter and 3-month-old son. My husband works a ton of hours to the point I sometimes go days without seeing him, sometimes even a full week. His schedule is all over the place but he makes very good money so I handle home life. If I do leave…what are the odds of him getting any custody if there’s proof of his drinking including while driving? I worry about their safety, and me staying at least guarantees they’re safe cause i’m always present. Help. I’m in NJ if that helps at all. Also ask any questions, i’ll give further info just didn’t want this to be super long.

in our community

Please be honest with me ..

My daughter was crying in car the whole drive home. My husband tells her to shut up and I tell him not to say that to her. He then goes on basically saying I’m a bad mom because I don’t let him parent because I told him not to tell her to shut up. (4years old) he says if he was the one staying at home (SAHM)she would be acting that way (crying all the way home) am I a bad parent who doesn’t let him parent because i tell him not to tell her to shut up? He then tries to justify it by saying growing up his parents told him to shut the F up and hit him and tells me I don’t know how your parents raised you etc .. continues to tell me do your duty teach them good values, etc..does this whole situation raise a question that I’m a bad mom? And am I just being sensitive because I didn’t like how he told her to shut up?

Urine sample

The gp has asked for me to get a urine sample from my 7 month old girl!
Please any tips and tricks as sitting with a pot infront of her with no nappy and waiting might send me round the bend 😂

shop run

does it make me a bad mum if i was to lock the door and run to the shop for milk? The shop is literally on my door step, no more than 10 steps from my front door.

How to grow?

How do you stay progressive when you are a mother?

It almost feels impossible at times. Almost like my goals have stopped, meaning while my partner chases his.

I feel like I'm falling behind.

I always aimed for a promotion every 2 years or would move jobs for more money.

Maternity leave was soo bad and I have alot of unexpected cost which left me in debt. I have only just managed to clear it.

But the reality is being a mum comes and wife comes with alot of mental load. Don't get me started on working a job. Theres no time to feed into myself, my goals or even think about what's next for progression.

How do you stay progressive? (level up in life?

Like at this stage of life, are you where you thought your be?

I honestly thought I would have multiple streams of income. But I'm struggling mentally with this 1 currently have.

Getting out with baby

As a first time mum, im struggling to get out the house as I dont want baby to cry. I keep seeing people out shopping or coffee dates etc but the most weve managed are walks in the park close to home. It feels so difficult getting out when baby is either unsettled or constantly needing changed or fed. Sometimes baby falls asleep on a walk but more times lately he just wails and i nothing can console him so we rush home. Baby is 7 weeks and I just dont know how we get there?

He so cute playground at the playground

Yesterday had so much fun yesterday