Why can I not do basic things I need to do
I'm really embarrassed to admit it but at the moment I'm only showering maybe once or twice a week. I can't bring myself to brush my hair, so that only gets done maybe once a week, and I can only make myself brush my teeth at night before bed, but it's a massive mental struggle. I barely drink water, I barely leave the house, I just feel so burnt out. Any time I get a free moment that I could use to do these things, I end up just sleeping or trying to catch up on housework instead. I just feel like the overall running of the house is more important than me showering or getting myself clean and tidy. I have 2 children, one is 3 and the other is 10 weeks old. I don't even have the reasoning of breastfeeding because I'm not doing that anymore, so baby is on formula bottles in a pretty predictable schedule, so I always know when she'll be down for a nap after a feed. But it's like I just get paralysed by all the things I need to do in the house, or trying to squeeze in time with my 3yo, that my own self care just isn't a priority. It's not even on the list anymore. I'm so tired and feel like I can't stand the look of myself at the moment either, which I know is common postpartum. I just hate my weight, I hate how long and scraggly my hair is, I hate my nails growing uneven, I hate my hair legs and armpits but shaving is another chore I cannot face. I just feel fed up.
But after saying all that, my kids are well looked after, I bathe them every other day, brush teeth morning and night, nails trimmed etc. It just feels like that's my priority right now and my own self care is a massive chore.
Please don't judge I know some people will have something horrible to say
Should I stay or should I go?
I’m half way in and half way out of my marriage at this point. I do not feel like I have a genuine partner. He gets defensive over things so easily, can never take accountability, and has issues with my family. The drama is endless with him. He was previously arrested (all charges dropped and erased from his record), he attempted to fight my father, he’s a full blown alcoholic but refuses to get help, the list goes on. I would love to leave but i’m terrified of being forced to share custody of our two small children. We have a 3-year-old daughter and 3-month-old son. My husband works a ton of hours to the point I sometimes go days without seeing him, sometimes even a full week. His schedule is all over the place but he makes very good money so I handle home life. If I do leave…what are the odds of him getting any custody if there’s proof of his drinking including while driving? I worry about their safety, and me staying at least guarantees they’re safe cause i’m always present. Help. I’m in NJ if that helps at all. Also ask any questions, i’ll give further info just didn’t want this to be super long.
Eating solids help!!
How do I get my baby to stop screaming & crying when it’s time to eat?? We give her half her bottle then her purees then the other half of her bottle. Once we take the bottle to give her the purées she screams & cries & this goes on for 20+ minutes every single time. Because of the screaming & crying, she’s constantly choking on her food, to the point she’ll vomit sometimes. Not every time, but it’s happened a handful of times. She does this with every single food, even the ones she likes. She’s 7 months today & this has been going on for about a month or longer. If we try to give her the purées before her bottle, she won’t eat them & will just scream & cry for her bottle. If we try to give them after she finishes her bottle, she’s too full & will refuse to eat the purées. We try to soothe her & calm her down but nothing works. If she eventually calms down, we’ll give her a bite or 2 of purées & it’s back to screaming & crying. Which leads to choking & sometimes vomiting. The only way she fully calms down is when we give her the bottle back. I don’t know what else to do?? Someone please help!
