Midlife crisis or have I changed.. ?

I don’t want to work anymore! I don’t care for progression, more money or even the ‘me time’. I just want to stay at home with my girl, live a simple stress free life. My actual situation requires me to work.. full time, whilst paying others to watch her, it’s all backwards if you ask me.

Some days I just feel so drained, like I’m not giving enough to everyone, has anyone else hit this milestone? Struggling to balance life? What should I do? Any advise is welcome 🙏 💚

On another note, I’m really struggling to like my pets… I mean, I love them of course … but my goodness, my cats meow at the moment vibrates through my brain like a chainsaw.

This must make sense to someone. I hope

Laura x

in our community

Would this drive you mad?

I live with my parents. Every morning, they give biscuits before breakfast to my 3 year old. I always say not to give as then she doesn’t eat breakfast.
But today, they gave a whole pack which she finished.

Then I started telling them, what don’t you understand about me saying not to give biscuits before breakfast? Is it me that can’t explain, why can’t you guys just understand?

And my dad thinks I’m annoyed at everything and anything…. I mean am I wrong?

Financial abuse !

I just need to vent because I know it will never change but I am sick of it now ! My husband goes out and works (owns his own business) and I am the one who can only work when we have child care. I am self employed so only get paid when I work. We have four kids (two are his that we have full custody of). I am expected to pay all of my own bills, food (£500 a month!), car insurance etc and pay for all the activities during the holidays. When I was working before the summer holidays I paid for us all to go on holiday on my own. Now I am not working due to the schools being off I still don't have any access to his money and is refusing to give me any, he just keeps saying he has none. He is working 7 days a week as he is so busy but has no money? He is still buying himself stupid stuff but I get no help. What am I meant to do ? I am just left in the house with kids unable to even afford petrol for my car! I am still trying to figure out how to pay for all four kids school uniforms ! I really don't want to go to my parents and ask for money because my own husband won't give me any! Then he has the cheek to ask why I don't want to have sex .... I am just an unpaid slave at this point !!

Crushed like a fly

My husband and I have been looking around for a 7 bedroom home. We finally find one apply for it and he's all FOR IT we talk about plans for the house if we are approved and he just let's me gets my hopes up.

Yesterday we got approved! Yayy. We'll now he says eh i dont want to do it. I dont think its reasonable we should stay in the 3 bedroom (we have 5 kids) we make around 10k a month together and if we were to go to the new house after bills, our new car payment, rent and groceries we would be left with 2k to spare so I dont understand this logic. I dont get why he would sit here make plans with me and know im excited to move and then get MORE excited and reply back to the people on a move in date and then a few hours later just crush me. Im so burnt out. I just wanted a office and for my kids to each have a room. The house is my dream house with beautiful views 😭

Marriage

This might be a little long but wanted some advice :)

So I’ve been with my husband for about 3 years and have a 6 month old together. He is generally the most sweetest, loving, caring, protective person ever. He works full time, im a SAHM. I’ve always wanted to do this and look after my children so the lifestyle I’m living is honestly what I wanted. He’s never complained despite working unsociable hours, he helps when he isn’t napping, he doesn’t clean or cook but I’ve never minded that. He’s given me the best supportive in laws and he’s generally my best friend I can chill with him all day we never get bored.

But obviously like every human he’s not perfect. We deal with conflict very differently where he walks away and I wanna solve it there and then. So yesterday I told him to stop leaving wrappers in the living room and he wasn’t taking me seriously and said “but you do it too”. He’s never really a serious person but I still took it to personal like LISTEN TO ME. Anyways right after that he was like I’m Going bed. I was angry bc how can you leave mid argument, I’m clearly annoyed and just say you’re going to bed. He always does this where I’ll be visibly upset for whatever reason and he’ll gladly leave and go to bed. Then in the morning will act like nothing happened and sometimes will apologise.

I don’t think this habit will change but every-time my feelings gets dismissed and he never really gets how bad it affects me.

Do you guys think it’s not a big deal or it’s something that needs seriously addressing ,

Do u believe they were selling kids on Vinted? Just like what Wayfair did….

Also side note Fox News has started running Vinted adds after all this came out…. Google ai says it’s fake… what do u think

I think my marriage is ending… can it be saved?

The biggest issue is the disrespect. I know he works long, hard days, and I’ve seen the ware and tare on his body. But then he comes home and instead of being his comfort zone I’ve somehow become his verbal punching bag and I feel like he just resents me. He just complains and picks fights about everything. When I say I had a long day too he will say “oh I wish I got paid to sit on my ass all day and do nothing.” (I work a desk job, but I do work. And then after work, I do all the childcare and home upkeep). He’s constantly bitching about my friends and family. I told him a funny story about something that happened to my sister and he just scoffs and says “I doubt that happened.” And he constantly criticizes my friends for “controlling” their husbands, which is not fair at all… he specifically gets really mad at my one friend because she doesn’t let her husband ride motorcycles anymore. But also, her husband is unemployed and she pays for everything and literally just built him a house, and he has a history of seizures. She comes from a place of love and he won’t accept that… but he used to love them. It’s like he just everything and everyone. He called our daughter pathetic for crying and said she needs to be stronger because life isn’t easy, and lately has been on me saying I’m too easy on the kids and the house feels chaos because I’m not managing it the way he would. He blows up about everything, honestly. I’m just constantly walking on eggshells around him anymore. He used to always thank me when I cooked dinner, but now he refuses to eat my “disgusting slop” and he calls me names and asks all the time how I contribute to the family when he’s doing everything (I also work, and actually make more money than him, and I take care of the kids and house alone). I ask him to wash dishes and he freaks out that it’s not his job, and he bitches constantly that she never has clean clothes, but he also never tells me when he needs his wash done… I tell him all the time if he wants something washed, gather it up and put it in the laundry room . Our kids can manage that, why can’t he? He also has been weirdly paranoid lately, asking who I’m talking to and checking my location constantly. He tells me he’s depressed and burned out and when I try to offer support he tells me I don’t care about his feelings and I’m blowing him off. Then when I try to talk about my feelings, he accuses me of having no original thoughts because I’m just repeating what he says he feels. I can just be sitting at home at 10:00 at night watching tv and he’ll walk in and start freaking out that of course I’m watching something dumb and flip out and walk away. Even if I offer to change it. I just feel like everything I do is wrong and I can’t be right because even when I do what he says it’s incorrect.

I told him I was done last night and he started crying and begged me to stay and work on it. I hesitated, and gave him a chance to talk, but then he immediately shut back down. He went for a walk to get food and came back with my favorite snack and apologized, but his passive aggressive comments didn’t stop through the night and into the morning. He told me he can’t lose me because me and the kids are the only good thing in his life and if we leave he has nothing. I asked why he treats me like shit then and he swears he doesn’t and says I’m just too sensitive. He asked if we sit and talk and work on it. I don’t know if we can. I’m not convinced it will change