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SEX ~ DRAMA ~ MARRIAGE & MORE

I think my marriage is ending… can it be saved?

The biggest issue is the disrespect. I know he works long, hard days, and I’ve seen the ware and tare on his body. But then he comes home and instead of being his comfort zone I’ve somehow become his verbal punching bag and I feel like he just resents me. He just complains and picks fights about everything. When I say I had a long day too he will say “oh I wish I got paid to sit on my ass all day and do nothing.” (I work a desk job, but I do work. And then after work, I do all the childcare and home upkeep). He’s constantly bitching about my friends and family. I told him a funny story about something that happened to my sister and he just scoffs and says “I doubt that happened.” And he constantly criticizes my friends for “controlling” their husbands, which is not fair at all… he specifically gets really mad at my one friend because she doesn’t let her husband ride motorcycles anymore. But also, her husband is unemployed and she pays for everything and literally just built him a house, and he has a history of seizures. She comes from a place of love and he won’t accept that… but he used to love them. It’s like he just everything and everyone. He called our daughter pathetic for crying and said she needs to be stronger because life isn’t easy, and lately has been on me saying I’m too easy on the kids and the house feels chaos because I’m not managing it the way he would. He blows up about everything, honestly. I’m just constantly walking on eggshells around him anymore. He used to always thank me when I cooked dinner, but now he refuses to eat my “disgusting slop” and he calls me names and asks all the time how I contribute to the family when he’s doing everything (I also work, and actually make more money than him, and I take care of the kids and house alone). I ask him to wash dishes and he freaks out that it’s not his job, and he bitches constantly that she never has clean clothes, but he also never tells me when he needs his wash done… I tell him all the time if he wants something washed, gather it up and put it in the laundry room . Our kids can manage that, why can’t he? He also has been weirdly paranoid lately, asking who I’m talking to and checking my location constantly. He tells me he’s depressed and burned out and when I try to offer support he tells me I don’t care about his feelings and I’m blowing him off. Then when I try to talk about my feelings, he accuses me of having no original thoughts because I’m just repeating what he says he feels. I can just be sitting at home at 10:00 at night watching tv and he’ll walk in and start freaking out that of course I’m watching something dumb and flip out and walk away. Even if I offer to change it. I just feel like everything I do is wrong and I can’t be right because even when I do what he says it’s incorrect.

I told him I was done last night and he started crying and begged me to stay and work on it. I hesitated, and gave him a chance to talk, but then he immediately shut back down. He went for a walk to get food and came back with my favorite snack and apologized, but his passive aggressive comments didn’t stop through the night and into the morning. He told me he can’t lose me because me and the kids are the only good thing in his life and if we leave he has nothing. I asked why he treats me like shit then and he swears he doesn’t and says I’m just too sensitive. He asked if we sit and talk and work on it. I don’t know if we can. I’m not convinced it will change