Would this annoy you or am I being sensitive?
Hi all,
I just want to know whether I'm letting my emotions get the better of me, or if I'd be justified in feeling annoyed.
For a bit of context, we live in the Yorkshire Dales and my father-in-law lives in Somerset, so it's a long journey that takes quite a bit of planning, especially with a toddler.
Last weekend, my father-in-law retired, so my husband went down on his own to celebrate with him. I stayed home with our little one, which was absolutely fine, I had no issue with that.
This coming weekend, we're all travelling down because it's my father-in-law's birthday and, naturally, he wants to see his granddaughter too. We've planned the journey with plenty of stops, so although it's a long drive, we've made it work.
The thing that's bothered me is that last night my father-in-law texted my husband asking if he'd come back down again the following weekend as well to play a round of golf because there's an event on at his golf club.
That would mean my husband driving from Yorkshire to Somerset for the third weekend in a row, and I'd be solo parenting for another weekend.
I think what upset me most wasn't even the golf itself, it was that it felt like there wasn't much consideration for our family time together. I completely understand my husband wanting to see his dad, and I have no problem making the journey when there's a genuine family occasion. But after we've already made the effort for his retirement and then his birthday, asking him to make another 500-mile round trip the very next weekend for golf just feels like quite a big ask.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling a bit put out by it, or would you feel the same
Im at my wits end! Potty training 😩🚽
My little one is 2 and showing every sign he's ready to potty training
* Ripping his nappy off when he's done a wee or poo
* Not needing to go toilet for 2 hours
* Knowing what the potty is for
* Sits on the potty (voluntarily)
... And other signs
HOWEVER!
To actually get him to wee on the potty is proving so hard! He would rather go on the floor and just watch it, no matter how much correction and guidance he's given!
I've resulted to using his favourite teddy and "making" them go for a wee on the potty and putting a pair of big boy pants on the teddy so he can see an example.
This boy is point blank refusing! 😩
He knows what it's for and understands when he's seen his cousins do it, but is being incredibly stubborn.
Not to mention my partner (his dad) has a short fuse and will give up as soon as it comes too hard. So I know as soon as I'm at work, it's back to wearing a nappy all day and not even trying. (I've had multiple conversations with him to make sure we're on the same page, but stubbornness and not having me do most of the work, he won't do it)
I just need some advice and tips on how to make the transition easier on myself and my little one. Any tricks that I can't will be bonus points 😂🙏🏼
From a desperate mother!
Advice
Ok this will be somewhat long but please read and advise/what you’d do in my shoes.
My fiance and I have now been together for exactly 1 year now. Trying to make this as long story short as I can; when we met, I had 1 child, he had 3. He always says “you knew I had 3, you signed up for this” which yes I did. I was happy to at that. I love my fiance to death, and his kids. Now, we found out I was pregnant and skip forward, I birthed our baby 2 months ago. He will be 3 months in 2 weeks. There’s a lot of back story with the blended family stuff but again, long story short… I have really struggled with it all. I treat his kids wonderfully and we have all blended so well. The kids love me, my son, and their new brother. I have lost it a few times with how hard things can be and just get so overwhelmed but always come out on the other side. Today, things were just really hard. My son is 3 years old, then I have my 2 month old, his 7 year old, his 8 year old, and 12 year old. I am the one who grocery shops, cooks the food, does 7 people’s laundry, cleans everyone’s rooms/house, making sure bathrooms are stocked, cleaning up messes all summer long with 5 kids while trying to maintain a newborn and take care of myself. Try to do things for myself, do things my fiance needs me to do. I am a stay at home mom. He gave me that blessing. Now, I had a meltdown tonight and said how hard this all is and I just am sick of the constant messes, everyone in my face following me around all day, just sooo overwhelmed and a lot on my plate. He has a very demanding and difficult job as well and I get that. That’s why I always try to handle the household and do. Tonight he called me while out and started going in on me about how it shouldn’t be this hard and shouldn’t always be drama/a crisis. “I will say it. My job is harder. Why is it so easy for me but so hard for you. What’s the difference there? I was with them for 2 hours yesterday while you ran out and everything was fine and simple.” Yes, you’re the dad. They are good for you because you are the man of the household. And the biological father. I said, well… the difference is that I birthed a child and am 10 weeks PP. I remember very clearly one day a few weeks back, I ran out somewhere by myself for a while and he sat in the recliner looking super mad and stressed and when I asked what was wrong… he said he was just “overwhelmed and just a lot going on” with having all 5 kids here… hmmmm.
This has been his talks to me so many times. “Why is this so hard for you” then comes back to say “I know you’re 26, have a newborn, a toddler and 3 kids that you took on and I know it can be a lot but i just don’t understand why it’s this hard for you.”
THEN WENT AROUND TO SAY “IF THIS WAS A HARD JOB THEN PEOPLE WOULDNT GET PAID $15 AN HOUR TO DO IT. EVERYONE CAN DO IT.” !!!!!!!!!!!
What the actual fuck do I do here… please tell me your transparent, honest, advice.
