Would this annoy you or am I being sensitive?
Hi all,
I just want to know whether I'm letting my emotions get the better of me, or if I'd be justified in feeling annoyed.
For a bit of context, we live in the Yorkshire Dales and my father-in-law lives in Somerset, so it's a long journey that takes quite a bit of planning, especially with a toddler.
Last weekend, my father-in-law retired, so my husband went down on his own to celebrate with him. I stayed home with our little one, which was absolutely fine, I had no issue with that.
This coming weekend, we're all travelling down because it's my father-in-law's birthday and, naturally, he wants to see his granddaughter too. We've planned the journey with plenty of stops, so although it's a long drive, we've made it work.
The thing that's bothered me is that last night my father-in-law texted my husband asking if he'd come back down again the following weekend as well to play a round of golf because there's an event on at his golf club.
That would mean my husband driving from Yorkshire to Somerset for the third weekend in a row, and I'd be solo parenting for another weekend.
I think what upset me most wasn't even the golf itself, it was that it felt like there wasn't much consideration for our family time together. I completely understand my husband wanting to see his dad, and I have no problem making the journey when there's a genuine family occasion. But after we've already made the effort for his retirement and then his birthday, asking him to make another 500-mile round trip the very next weekend for golf just feels like quite a big ask.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling a bit put out by it, or would you feel the same
Im at my wits end! Potty training š©š½
My little one is 2 and showing every sign he's ready to potty training
* Ripping his nappy off when he's done a wee or poo
* Not needing to go toilet for 2 hours
* Knowing what the potty is for
* Sits on the potty (voluntarily)
... And other signs
HOWEVER!
To actually get him to wee on the potty is proving so hard! He would rather go on the floor and just watch it, no matter how much correction and guidance he's given!
I've resulted to using his favourite teddy and "making" them go for a wee on the potty and putting a pair of big boy pants on the teddy so he can see an example.
This boy is point blank refusing! š©
He knows what it's for and understands when he's seen his cousins do it, but is being incredibly stubborn.
Not to mention my partner (his dad) has a short fuse and will give up as soon as it comes too hard. So I know as soon as I'm at work, it's back to wearing a nappy all day and not even trying. (I've had multiple conversations with him to make sure we're on the same page, but stubbornness and not having me do most of the work, he won't do it)
I just need some advice and tips on how to make the transition easier on myself and my little one. Any tricks that I can't will be bonus points ššš¼
From a desperate mother!
I think my marriage is endingā¦ can it be saved?
The biggest issue is the disrespect. I know he works long, hard days, and Iāve seen the ware and tare on his body. But then he comes home and instead of being his comfort zone Iāve somehow become his verbal punching bag and I feel like he just resents me. He just complains and picks fights about everything. When I say I had a long day too he will say āoh I wish I got paid to sit on my ass all day and do nothing.ā (I work a desk job, but I do work. And then after work, I do all the childcare and home upkeep). Heās constantly bitching about my friends and family. I told him a funny story about something that happened to my sister and he just scoffs and says āI doubt that happened.ā And he constantly criticizes my friends for ācontrollingā their husbands, which is not fair at allā¦ he specifically gets really mad at my one friend because she doesnāt let her husband ride motorcycles anymore. But also, her husband is unemployed and she pays for everything and literally just built him a house, and he has a history of seizures. She comes from a place of love and he wonāt accept thatā¦ but he used to love them. Itās like he just everything and everyone. He called our daughter pathetic for crying and said she needs to be stronger because life isnāt easy, and lately has been on me saying Iām too easy on the kids and the house feels chaos because Iām not managing it the way he would. He blows up about everything, honestly. Iām just constantly walking on eggshells around him anymore. He used to always thank me when I cooked dinner, but now he refuses to eat my ādisgusting slopā and he calls me names and asks all the time how I contribute to the family when heās doing everything (I also work, and actually make more money than him, and I take care of the kids and house alone). I ask him to wash dishes and he freaks out that itās not his job, and he bitches constantly that she never has clean clothes, but he also never tells me when he needs his wash doneā¦ I tell him all the time if he wants something washed, gather it up and put it in the laundry room . Our kids can manage that, why canāt he? He also has been weirdly paranoid lately, asking who Iām talking to and checking my location constantly. He tells me heās depressed and burned out and when I try to offer support he tells me I donāt care about his feelings and Iām blowing him off. Then when I try to talk about my feelings, he accuses me of having no original thoughts because Iām just repeating what he says he feels. I can just be sitting at home at 10:00 at night watching tv and heāll walk in and start freaking out that of course Iām watching something dumb and flip out and walk away. Even if I offer to change it. I just feel like everything I do is wrong and I canāt be right because even when I do what he says itās incorrect.
I told him I was done last night and he started crying and begged me to stay and work on it. I hesitated, and gave him a chance to talk, but then he immediately shut back down. He went for a walk to get food and came back with my favorite snack and apologized, but his passive aggressive comments didnāt stop through the night and into the morning. He told me he canāt lose me because me and the kids are the only good thing in his life and if we leave he has nothing. I asked why he treats me like shit then and he swears he doesnāt and says Iām just too sensitive. He asked if we sit and talk and work on it. I donāt know if we can. Iām not convinced it will change
Marriage
This might be a little long but wanted some advice :)
So Iāve been with my husband for about 3 years and have a 6 month old together. He is generally the most sweetest, loving, caring, protective person ever. He works full time, im a SAHM. Iāve always wanted to do this and look after my children so the lifestyle Iām living is honestly what I wanted. Heās never complained despite working unsociable hours, he helps when he isnāt napping, he doesnāt clean or cook but Iāve never minded that. Heās given me the best supportive in laws and heās generally my best friend I can chill with him all day we never get bored.
But obviously like every human heās not perfect. We deal with conflict very differently where he walks away and I wanna solve it there and then. So yesterday I told him to stop leaving wrappers in the living room and he wasnāt taking me seriously and said ābut you do it tooā. Heās never really a serious person but I still took it to personal like LISTEN TO ME. Anyways right after that he was like Iām Going bed. I was angry bc how can you leave mid argument, Iām clearly annoyed and just say youāre going to bed. He always does this where Iāll be visibly upset for whatever reason and heāll gladly leave and go to bed. Then in the morning will act like nothing happened and sometimes will apologise.
I donāt think this habit will change but every-time my feelings gets dismissed and he never really gets how bad it affects me.
Do you guys think itās not a big deal or itās something that needs seriously addressing ,
