Wanting to be completely alone during birth

Is it weird/selfish that I want to be completely alone during birth? For my peace. I just want silence and to enjoy the moment. And I mean.. phone on complete “do not disturb” and no visitors, (including friends and family).

The father is 10 hours away he plans to get a flight or drive down during my labor, I just moved here last month to escape dv from him so tbh I’m not so comfortable with him there. I almost lost this baby multiple times because of him. I’m not gone go to much into it. I know it’s his son as well and I shouldn’t take that moment from him but I really need peace and don’t want my birth to be ruined or to be stressed.

Should I just allow him to come or would I be selfish if I didn’t?

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I just want it to be me and baby 🥹

sounds like the best idea for you and baby. A quiet private, calm and peaceful delivery for baby.
No need for anyones bad vibes to be present.

too bad whoever arrives can wait in the waiting room until delivery and when your ready to see them or not

You almost lost your baby multiple times because of HIM. It doesn’t sound like he deserves to be there or to see the baby at all

Be alone and enjoy it, think about only you and your babu and noone else❤️

Nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. Your peace is far more vital than others needs. You don't need that stress and neither does baby. Look out for yourself and baby x

Not selfish at all. Sounds like your prioritising yours and your childs peace.

Sending love 🤍

Dont put him on the birth certificate, block him & cut him off, dv is serious. Ur not being selfish, itd be dangerous to have him around u

If you talk to your obgyn/hospital they will make this happen. He doesn't even have to be on the property if its going to stress you out. As for any guilt or nay sayers, he should've thought of the consequences before. This is about YOU and your baby being safe and healthy.

Please openly share this with your OB, they will ensure you are safe & no one but staff are with you 🥰❤️ I will say I felt the same about my family & his, not my husband. But all our family & friends... I was excited with our oldest it was pandemic so no one would bother me.. then I cried my mom, my mil etc my grandma. No mother figure at all could visit me. If they did my husband had to leave & it was a 1 time choice. Once I chose or switched support person, my husband couldn't come back in... I know now it's not this way at all lol. So you may feel this way close to that time of pushing & or after. (Idk you, but I'm the same of I'll deal with it on my own) I'm a toughie. & I refuse help until I'm backed into a wall lol

It is not selfish to desire the best possible environment to ensure the safety of both you and your child during labor. My grandmother, with whom I have a pretty good relationship with, tried to invite herself over to visit at the hospital day of my planned c section. I had to deliver some very clear boundaries that all people will be invited to visit when I am ready. Only you are the one who has to go through all of the physical demands involved. It is hard enough without having to worry about other people stressing you out. You are allowed to protect your peace and control who has access to your space

i’m sorry wtf?? he shouldn’t be anywhere near you!! ESPECIALLY when you’re as vulnerable as you are in childbirth. whoever is advocating for an abuser’s right to be close to his victim in any setting belongs in the bin and should not be listened to. my god girl only have people you can trust to love and support you through it should be there, if that’s no one then yes go it alone and don’t feel bad - it’s for the safety of both you and baby!!

in our community

WWYD in this situation? (Trigger as racism)

I come from the gypsy community but married out of it. I would still class myself as a gypsy with my morals, values and the way I hold myself. I’m still in contact with all my family who are English gypsies.

So my husband. I told him what I was from day one and he was fine about it whatever. I’ve recently had a baby and I’m dressing my baby traditionally and buying him jewellery ect and I will raise him speaking our language and hold him to the same values and tradition that I come from.

My husband is now making comments “why is it always from your side” “I’m not raising my child that way” another stupid one is I wanna be called mam but he REFUSES to call me it and calls me mummy or mom.

My husbands family are the same they will use racist remarks and I’ve heard them say “that’s so pikey” which is a racial slur towards us. When I told his family I’ve been looking at jewellery to get him they said “uh isn’t that a bit chavvy? Is that the gypo in you coming out” and I said well yeah he is a gypsy boy and they went to say “yeah HALF HALF”

It’s driving me mad. I want to raise him how I was raised and I told my husband this but now it’s becoming a serious problem in the relationship. I don’t mind him having some “normal” behaviours as his family are already making plans to do with my son in the future (another issue as they think they have so much control over him but didn’t give a shit when I was pregnant) but to me family come before anything and I want my child to be close to both parts of his family not just mine. I don’t see the issue with raising him half and half but it seems to me now that my husband and his family have a massive problem with it to the point where I’m ready to tell them all to fuck off. How can they use racist terms that reflect their own grandchild?????

What would you do? I’ve already said my child is half and they’re still having issues. Me and my husband are still very much inlove and we do get on well he’s nothing but good to me in all other terms this is the only issue that we have.

I just now feel stuck.

I feel like we already have a lot of racism towards us I don’t need it coming from so called family too :)

Screen time

Hey everyone! I need some advice/ help 😂
So we’ve got to that stage where my 20 month old will have meltdowns if she’s watching something on our phones and we take it away from her. I know in the first place we shouldn’t give it to her but the reason why we have is because we’re out in a restaurant and she’s just moaning and it makes me feel guilty for other customers in the restaurant. I have tried books, colouring/paper, toys etc etc but she’s not interested in that, just wants to watch something 😖 she also won’t eat dinner (even at home) unless she is watching something which is a bad habit we’ve got into and we’re trying to get out of it, any tips/tricks/ help/ advice would be very much appreciated! 😂😩

Wanting to be completely alone during birth

Would you let your 2.5 play on their own in their room?

We just got back from a holiday where she spent some time playing with other children in our extended family (3&5 year old) in their bedroom with less adult supervision. I was on edge the whole time because I thought she was too young to be playing without an adult there, so I stayed at the bottom of the stairs and checked in frequently.

However, she showed me that she could be well behaved, independent and safe when I’m not there and she played amazingly and never took it to a place where I needed to intervene.

Coming home, she’s wanted to go upstairs a lot more in her room and I’m wondering other people’s thoughts on letting her spend some time alone in her room playing. Obviously risk assessments have been made, she had a camera in her room so I could watch her & there is a gate at the top of the stairs.

She’s already extremely independent and I trust her a lot (as much as you can trust a 2 year old anyway🤣) and she listens to instructions very well.

Anyway, let me know what you’re thoughts are please🤍

Nursery age

What age did everyone put their lo in nursery and do you recommend that age? Or if you’ve had multiple children starting at different ages which worked best?

Husband always whinges when I cook from scratch for our toddler

He says it takes up too many dishes (I always clean them afterwards so idk why he even cares) and says our kid never even eats it so what's the point, it's a waste of food. (I always freeze and eat the food if he doesn't like it)

I think he just sees it as pointless and too much work when we can just give him cheap store-bought food, but that make me feel so guilty.

Our son is quite a picky eater and will only eat nuggets, chips and sausage rolls and sometimes pasta.

So I'm attempting to make these things at home so I at least know all the ingredients and they're made fresh and low/no salt, sugar etc.

I'm also trying to blend up and hide veg in them too.

My husband thinks this is just causing more mess and hassle than it's worth but in my opinion if I can make something he likes and it's healthier for him, plus I can make way more for cheaper, then it's much better?

I'm sick of feeding him nuggets and chips from the shop every night. But then I'm made to feel like I'm inconveniencing my husband when I'm not??

Wanting to be completely alone during birth

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in our community

WWYD in this situation? (Trigger as racism)

Screen time

Wanting to be completely alone during birth

Would you let your 2.5 play on their own in their room?

Nursery age

Husband always whinges when I cook from scratch for our toddler