Travelling

Has anyone ever travelled with a 1 year old and 2 year old on their own 😭? Booked to go Disneyland Paris in aug with “EX” just finding out his cheated on me sooo what would you do in this situation? Go with the kids on your own? Or go with him as it’s for the kids?

in our community

What should I do?

So my son is 7 weeks old. I woke up this morning to see my husband had left a bottle with a bottle with a ounce and a half of breast milk on the table. I didn’t know how long it had been there and assumed it was bad and be as such I got emotional because I have had a hard time pumping enough. Apparently it had only been a hour according to him so it was still safe to use but I didn’t know that yet. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and was trying really hard not to cry and to put on a smile because I knew it wasn’t his fault but it was really hard because I hade to throw out two ounces yesterday because he left it out over night in two separate bottles. He hung up the call he was on and came into the kitchen and slammed his hand on the counter and demanded I tell him what is wrong. This led to a big fight and I lowkey want to leave (I have no income, no job and no family so that alone would be hard).
This isn’t the first time that this has happened. He doesn’t understand how hard it is for me to eat right and enough to even be able to pump and he throws the milk around and leaves it out like I’m not giving my entire body to make it.
I wasn’t even going to mention it to him because hey it happens, baby’s don’t always finish bottles and that’s ok. I was just dealing with my emotions the best I could but apparently I’m not allowed to be frowning or cry in the mornings. Idk
There have been other things leading up to this but the underlying part is his anger and inability to sympathize and understand.
I have nothing and so leaving would be super hard and I know he is going to fight for custody. I am really lost and I don’t know if I’m over reacting or what. I just feel like it’s not fair and he is allowed his emotions but I’m not.

Opinions please - is this concerning, or just a difference in etiquette? Maybe something else

We are British but my husband has American family from the US. (His Aunt married an American and moved over there, had children and then retired back over here. So my husbands cousins, and his uncle are all American.)

Anyways, one of husbands cousins is over visiting with her new fiance.

They both came over to my husbands parents for dinner today. This is the first time anyone in the family is meeting her fiance (he is American too. I dunno if its even relevant but maybe?)

My inlaws offer to order a Chinese takeaway for everyone for dinner as they have just got a new kitchen installed 2 days ago and everything like pots and pans and ingredients are still packed away.

This is obviously going to be quite expensive, they don't expect anyone else to pay but we always offer anyways. But we just appreciate the fact that they're ordering us dinner and it's quite expensive. (It's coming from a Chinese restaurant rather than just a little takeaway so it's a bit more money)

Whilst we are waiting for the food to arrive my husband and his dad and the fiance all go outside to the garden, because my FIL was building something and they were all having a look at it.

The food arrives and cousin steps out into the garden to let the guys know, and her fiance turns around and says something along the lines of "I'm looking at this just now." but in a tone that was really weird, like he was angry?
She came back inside and didn't day anything else, I helped MIL plate up the food and then cousin went back outside to tell the guys that dinner was now on the table.
Her fiance did a massive sigh/huff and came in like he was being dragged by his ear or something.

We all sat down and then halfway through the meal, fiance stood up and went out into the hallway and closed the door, without saying a word. Usually we would excuse ourselves from the table if we needed the loo or whatever but we just assumed maybe he felt awkward? Idk. It was strange.
Anyways 20 minutes go by and the room is getting really hot because the door is closed, so my MIL walks over to open it and fiance is just stood in the hallway on his phone? He hadn't went to the bathroom at all. For 20 minutes? (My MIL had mentioned to cousin like is he okay? Maybe he's ill in the toilet but she didn't seem concerned, like this was totally normal)
Obviously they were a little annoyed because they just bought all this food and he's not at the table for 20 minutes, everything is getting cold lmao

He comes back to the table and stays on his phone. This is family he's never met before. It's just totally bizarre. He didn't even say anything, he didn't explain maybe it was work, or his family back home, nothing, he just sat and typed away for ages. Cousin seemed awkward but didn't say anything to him either.

It was all just very bizarre. He didn't say thank you, he was so sharp and impatient when talking to cousin, it was all a bit concerning to me tbh.

I don't want to judge anyone by their looks but he is a big man, easily 6'3, cousin is only 5ft, if that. He seems like a bit of a bully by the way he was speaking to her and thats concerning given hes so much bigger than her, but maybe hes just socially awkward too?? Idk, the whole visit was just so so weird.
But I don't know if maybe its just a difference in where we're from, is it normal to leave the dinner table without saying anything? I would assume not? What are table manners like in the US? I'm assuming it's just this guy that's a bit rude and not the whole nation lol but it's my only experience having dinner with anyone from the US and he was on his phone most of the time 😅😅😅

Cousins mum does not like the fiance, and I'm not surprised. Tbh I was saying maybe MIL should say something to her sister about him but then at the end of the day it's not our business. Maybe its just his personality but so weird!

Anyone else having issues with their partner post partum?

I feel like we argue a lot and never see eye to eye anymore. We are almost 1 year post partum and it’s getting worse.
I just feel like I absolutely resent him and pretty much hate him on days. We have zero communication now and don’t talk about fights because anytime I tell him what he’s done wrong he turns it around on me somehow. No one says sorry and we just start talking a day or two later because of our son.

I’d definitely say I’m more miserable than happy and I think I want to leave. My family all live 2.5 hours away from me so it’s hard to get that support from them.

Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

This is really getting to me

I’ve recently made a post about this and I’ve also been looking into it on other mum apps. Reddit and just Google but my toddler will go to his nan for comfort rather than me if we are both there together and tonight he’d rather go over to his dad when he fell over, over me when we was both sat there together.
If it’s just me and him of course he comes to me but when other people are around it seems he wants them and not me which is really getting me down as I’ve seen a lot of videos and posts about having a ‘secure attachment’ and one of the obvious signs of that is your baby seeks YOU out for comfort when there’s others around and my child doesn’t ever really do this 😢😢

Which makes me feel like I’m just terrible mother sometimes I lose my cool because I single handedly do everything for him day and night and I’m overwhelmed and touched out. Where as no one else gets those feelings so they’re never snappy or on edge around him, is this maybe why he prefers others over me? What could the reasoning be behind this am I terrible and he just prefers anyone other than me 😢

Husband sick when you have a toddler?

I don’t know if it’s just me but I don’t have any sympathy or patience when my husbands ill and leaves me to deal with our toddler? I feel like you don’t have time to be ill when you’re a parent you just have to get on with it.. I don’t think mums would get away with passing their child over if they were sick, we are just expected to do both still? Maybe it’s just me? He has a stomach bug so it’s nothing that serious..

MIL

I’ve been having some issues with my mil and sent her this text. I wanted to be direct but respectful. Does this message sound mean?

💬 I’m sending this message because I don’t want to be interrupted or have the conversation become emotional. I want to communicate my thoughts clearly.

I’m going to be direct. Sam advocates for me because he is my partner. I would never expect him to address concerns with my mother — I would handle that myself because she’s my mother. You may disagree with that approach, but that doesn’t make it wrong.

I am genuinely grateful that you’ve allowed us to stay in your home during this time. At the same time, from the day I moved in, I’ve felt uncomfortable. I’ve tried to put those feelings aside and approach each interaction with an open mind, but that feeling has remained because of repeated situations that have left me feeling uneasy.

I don’t feel comfortable coming to you directly because, honestly, I don’t even feel comfortable having casual conversations with you. We are very different people, and the times I’ve let my guard down and been myself, I’ve regretted it. When we talk, I overthink everything I say because I’m afraid of how it will be interpreted.

In the past, I’ve made small talk only to later learn you told Sam that I’m “not driven” and other things that hurt my feelings. You’ve also told both of us that you believe I’m using him. Comments like those have made it difficult for me to feel relaxed/comfortable around you.

It also made me very upset when we visited your parents and they knew sam and I were having relationship issues. That was not information I believed should have been shared, and it made me feel that my privacy wasn’t respected.

Sam, Miles, and I are a family. He is my immediate family, and I am his. We are committed to putting each other first. Aside from one occasion, every time I’ve left the house has been because I felt uncomfortable in your presence. This is really putting a strain on Sam and mine’s relationship.

I would genuinely like for us to have a respectful relationship. That requires boundaries, mutual respect, and kindness. I am willing to reflect and take responsibility for my contribution in this. I hope you’re willing to do the same.

I’m not sending this message to argue or assign blame. I’m sending it because I want things to improve, and that can’t happen unless these concerns are acknowledged and respected.

This situation has been emotionally exhausting for both me and Sam. My hope is that you’ll take the time to consider what I’ve shared and try to understand it from my perspective, even if you don’t agree with every part of it.💬