Funded childcare

Does anyone here claim universal credit and get the 30 hours funded child care? If so what do I have to do in terms of my universal credit because it’s saying i may need to contact DWP about my universal credit options. I don’t get what I need to contact them for

in our community

How would you feel?

If you were spending money on yourself for the first time in 2 years (I just went back to work after 2 years of being a sahm) and your husband made comments about ‘just cause you have it doesn’t mean you have to spend it’ or ‘there’s more important things’ would you be upset? Or?

Burned out

I’m so burnt out and exhausted. I’m up before my partner with our 2 kids and he gets home 2 hours before their bedtime so I’m doing 100%. Even on the weekends he helps maybe 5%? I can’t remember the last time he got them dressed,made them food,gave them a bath,I always put them to bed as they only settle with me so he doesn’t even try. I just feel like I’m giving it my all while he’s not even helping a little. He goes away for a few months in a few weeks (I prepared for a year but it’s changed 5 times). I know I’ll be fine without him gone as again I do everything anyway but I’m just so tired,I can’t even go upstairs to change bedding without him falling asleep with them,I’ve told him he needs to get his bloods done as I don’t think it’s normal for him to constantly pass out when he has the kids for a few minutes,which also means I never get to relax. My jaw is constantly tense,I’m anxious and it’s not healthy. I had a shower the other day and I was gone for 6 minutes,I came back down and he was fast asleep whilst our kids played. I have brought this up to him but he just shrugs and says works tiring which I completely understand but I’m also tired,I sleep in our kids bed every night and they constantly crawl over me so I can’t even say the last time I had a decent night sleep whilst he gets an uninterrupted sleep and the days with them are beyond challenging at the moment 😩 his mum has said how lazy he is and even admits she’s mostly to blame but at one point is he going to step up?! He was great in the newborn stage for both of them but now even me asking for a nappy or an item of clothing is a chore for him 🙃

Cleaning is super hard

Does anyone find it hard to find the motivation to clean? I'm aware I'm a new mom so everything is hard currently, even going to the bathroom, but I just hate it so much. In pregnancy cleaning was my pride and joy because I could move and have a clean house, however its been so hard to clean especially because I refuse to let others in the house do what I do. For context, my family is disabled and very... Simple with how they clean and I prefer my methods.

Now, even if the baby is asleep, all my brain screams for is dopamine. Dishes? So hard to get my mind to it. Sweeping/mopping?? MY BACK HURTS? I'm 20...

Maybe it's just processing I'm a adult now with a baby? I don't know.

Getting a shower, brushing my teeth, my medicine? All out the window lately. I have to force myself even if I get multiple breaks a day (my parents help with the baby when I'm stressed)

And despite that being a good thing to do, I feel terrible for handing her off. I just can't stand to see her cry.

Maybe I'm just stressed? But I feel I have such a easier time in parenthood compared to others. So how am I stressed enough to not be able to get energy to clean- The way I destress?

For the single moms

My divorce just became finalized this week, we only separated in April so it went super fast. I'm really struggling with getting a hang of being a single mom. I'm constantly overstimulated, it feels like nothing gives me a reset, I'm angry and impatient. I know my expectations are not age appropriate for my kids but it feels like I don't have control over it. I feel like I'm just in survival autopilot all the time.
Is this just how it is? I had one single mom friend and this is how she always was and I do not want to be like this. I've tried therapists, I found a medication that worked but my doctor messed up my prescription and I just haven't been able to ground and re-center since then. Is this just normal for this time period and as I process it will get easier?
Any advice on how to manage everything? It was so easy for me to be in my roles of wife and SAHM and I just knew what to do. I feel lost having to do it all now. My ex is still in the picture but I don't trust him and I'm always on edge when he has the kids so it doesn't even feel like a break. I am just at a loss right now...

Is a 2ed child worth it?

Guys I really need some serious advice!!! I have an almost 4 year old boy. I work full time and so does my husband (although his job isn't always secure) we are financially comfortable and we like to enjoy life. I dont have any family or friends or even a support network. We had to bounce of each other when I had my son and tbh it was really challenging. I was emotionally unstable for a long time and even held a lot of resentment towards my husband. But I am finally feeling myself again now that my son is a little older. However life is really exhausting between juggling a full time stressful job (i work in the legal field) and trying to be a good mother and wife. Sometimes I feel a deep sense of rage (I have PMDD). however I look at my son and my heart breaks. He goes to dat care 5 days a week but not the whole day. He starts late and his dad picks him up early but he plays with his friends during the day. My heart breaks because when he's home or I take him to the park or we're celebrating his birthday he looks so lonely. I feel so guilty it consumes me! I've been contemplating having a 2ed child just so he's not lonely and he has someone to grow up with. But im also not sure if I can handle a second. Life is already stressful. But people keep telling me to have another while he is young and its cruel to make him grow up alone. I just dont know what to do. Do I sacrifice my body and mental health all over again so my son has a sibling or should I just focus on him and raise him to be a good man and to attract good people? But the second option seems selfish?? I dont have any mum friends either. Sometimes I feel like people are a bit hard to talk to u I dont know why.

Can someone please shed some light on this? Did u regret having ur second? And the ones with one child, what has ur experience been so far? Please give me some honest brutal truths. Thank you!

I couldn't make a playdate on time and another Mom is mad. Not sure if I handled it correctly.

This week another Mom who has kids in my children's kindergarten class reached out and asked if we wanted to get together yesterday at 3pm. I told her that it was not a good day because my son had an eye specialist appointment at 230pm at the hospital. She said just come after. I assumed that everyone understands that specialist appointments take several hours and maybe she meant we could do something after dinner instead. Figured since it's summer holidays people aren't as worried about early bedtime ect. Well at 3:10 pm I got a irritated text message saying they were waiting for us at the park and where were we. I responded immediately and explained that we had not seen the doctor yet and it could be a long time more of a wait and maybe we should reschedule for another day. I apologized for being late and said the doctor must be running behind. I didn't even think 40 mins was running behind because we see a lot of specialist for my son and it's a whole day thing typically. She just said fine and didn't respond further. Now I'm replaying it in my brain all evening on whether I should have mansplained that specialist appointments take hours and why I didn't think that it was a good idea to plan for a playdate on that day at all