Help, advice.

Im currently going thru a phase (i hope) with my 7 year old. Hes very mouthy and sarcastic. When speaking to me my daughter. Hes always in a demanding tone. He doesn't talk to hus father like that but he has tried. I try to talk, take certain toys or activities away but I always break and give in. I feel/know that he knows he can get over on me and he uses that to his advantage. When he decides not to listen or starts being mouthy. I will try to redirect him or say things like we don't talk like that in this house. We respect and show love in this house hold. Even then he will stomp shout. Then his father will intervene and then this Lil boy wants to get some act right but why does it take for his father to get involved for him to listen to me?? I on the other hand will get upset and cry because at that moment I feel overwhelmed out of touch. Like why can't the child ive carried and birth not respect me or listen.

To the parents who don't pop their kids. How do you get them to listen??

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I pop my kid and send him to timeout or his room but you should probably stick with what you take away. Why would he respect you when its very clear there isn't any need to. There are no consequences for his actions. Not even natural consequences it seems. You have to grow a backbone and demand to be respected. Im sure you do a lot for your kids so find a way for them to see it at 7 years old id start implementing chores or something they have to do for themselves. You seem really overwhelmed with everything, do you do everything yourself? What responsibilities does anyone else have in your house, you might think you run the house but the house is really running you. Chores are a vital component in learning how to live in the real world its best to learn slowly over time then to be trusted into trying to figure it all out later. Also helps build good habits and might make him see that you have been doing a lot for him.

I have noticed that saying/doing something and sticking to that every single time, really helps.

The moment you start swaying,, they don't take you seriously.

Expect to do it countless times to get the word across. Don't get tired. They eventually get there.
Be firm, consistent, persistent and PATIENT (you definitely need this one a lot! 😁 )

STOP giving in. STOP crying & getting upset when you have to gather his act together. you need to be firm & stern. will you repeat yourself ? absolutely. but that’s okay bc it’s a process. he WILL catch on when you STOP GIVING IN. all he knows is that there’s only a matter of time before he gets what he wants , you’re just playing hard to get basically. if you take sumn away , whether that’s toys , an experience or an activity , TAKE IT & KEEP IT ! my dad’s favourite line was “i’m keeping this until further notice” or “you’re grounded until further notice”

Don't give in. If I took something from my kids I'm keeping it till I forget they got in trouble. Also be firm don't let him see you upset and crying cause of his attitude. But honestly I'd pop him in the mouth and tell him to straighten up. Or at least threaten it. Threats alone work on some kids.

in our community

I couldn't make a playdate on time and another Mom is mad. Not sure if I handled it correctly.

This week another Mom who has kids in my children's kindergarten class reached out and asked if we wanted to get together yesterday at 3pm. I told her that it was not a good day because my son had an eye specialist appointment at 230pm at the hospital. She said just come after. I assumed that everyone understands that specialist appointments take several hours and maybe she meant we could do something after dinner instead. Figured since it's summer holidays people aren't as worried about early bedtime ect. Well at 3:10 pm I got a irritated text message saying they were waiting for us at the park and where were we. I responded immediately and explained that we had not seen the doctor yet and it could be a long time more of a wait and maybe we should reschedule for another day. I apologized for being late and said the doctor must be running behind. I didn't even think 40 mins was running behind because we see a lot of specialist for my son and it's a whole day thing typically. She just said fine and didn't respond further. Now I'm replaying it in my brain all evening on whether I should have mansplained that specialist appointments take hours and why I didn't think that it was a good idea to plan for a playdate on that day at all

Separation anxiety

My 8 month old has started experiencing separation anxiety but not with me or my husband, with her grandad. If he walks through the room she will cry until he picks her up. If he passes her to anyone (even me or her dad) she cries again until he gets her!
She doesn’t do this with me or her dad. I’m not sure why it’s just her grandad. She associates him quite strongly with play as that’s his main role with her. He doesn’t do nappies, sleep, or anything else with her.

I don’t mind it but I can’t help but think why isn’t she bothered why I walk out the room 😂

i feel like a total failure

this is longer than i expected but here it goes... so i took my 21mo son to toddler-time at the library yesterday because i've been trying to do better about getting him used to socializing and being out in public. for context my husband and i and our son lived with my parents until about 2 months ago and basically i felt guilty about leaving the house unless necessary but i'm really trying to start now that we're mostly settled in and figured out living by ourselves. so yesterday was the second time we've gone and the whole time, my son was running around the room, trying to get behind the instructor, getting into containers, trying to leave the room entirely, and even tried getting up on the table behind the instructor. well when that last part happened, i was trying to make my way towards him to get him down but right before i could, another mom stepped in and carried him off. of course i was thankful and expressed my gratitude but all she did was glare at me and sighed as she looked away. like personally i would've said something like "no worries, it happens" or "that's okay, they're all learning". like idk maybe her brain just short circuited but still any kind of acknowledgement or words of encouragement would've been appreciated, even if it was just two words "it's okay". but i just haven't been able to stop thinking about it and i could be totally misreading the situation and getting in my head over nothing. and it is like this literally everywhere we go, he never wants to just sit and watch or participate like other kids and he'll scream at the top of lungs if he's bored like in a shopping cart or something. i know he'll never learn unless he's exposed to it repeatedly but it's judgement like that from other moms that makes me never even want to try.

How would you handle your friends 4 yo being greedy with toys, hitting your almost 21 month old, catching her doing mean things?

I tell her don’t hit her or for example she was in my daughters stroller lifting her feet to my daughters face and I tell her don’t put your feet in her face . Her mom tells her to not hit or share or she will literally give her the same toy and she will still
Want the one my daughter has. She has an 11 yo older sister idk if she’s mean to her and that’s where she learns it from but she’s in daycare I would think she would know how to play w younger kids

Help from husband

Am feeling really overwhelmed and don't know whether I am expecting too much from my husband .. sorry it's long!

I'm on maternity leave and feel like I am literally doing everything. My husband is self employed and his work is demanding and he's pretty much working all the time.
Some days he works from home or comes home late 11/12am so I'm with baby 24/7.

Don't get me wrong I am lucky in the sense that he can work from home and will take us out during the day around his commitments. He provides for us and does a lot for us. I don't have a car so rely on him for everything so can't go to far on the bus. We have been planning to get a car as I'm getting frustrated having to wait on him and not being able to meet up with friends as I have to always wait on him. I constantly feel like I'm feeding, prepping food, cleaning, laundry ect. He doesn't help out unless I ask or get annoyed. He says that he works and that I see to much on social media about husbands helping out.

I am not even asking him to do much, it's simple things like cleaning up after himself, or emptying the bin putting the laundry away. The other day his laundry was sitting here for a whole week until I put it away. I get he works and it's demanding and he says if he has had a 9-5 it would be different but he has to make the money as I am not working.

He constantly on the phone, so loud even when baby is sleeping. I have to ask him to change his nappy or feed him breakfast without him thinking let me help out. He'll see the bottles that need to be washed and he will just leave them there until I ask. I breastfeed him throughout the day and night but have introduced a bottle for bedtime but even that he won't give him
Unless I really am tired? And then it's still me having to put him to sleep as he 'wants me'. And it's always not knowing when he's going to come home so 99.9% am doing bath and bedtime.

When we are out he is hands on and wants to hold him do everything but at home he will hand me him back as quick as possible as he needs to go or go toilet or something. I explained to him that I don't get that time and I just want some help without having to ask.

We had an argument today whilst talking our son to swimming, he didn't have his swimming shorts they were in the Landry and he said that I'm not doing anything why hasn't it been washed .. it really p'ed me off.

When baby is asleep I literally don't sit down, I'm doing laundry, cleaning prepping. Only this week I have told my self no when he's sleeping I'm going to sit and do something for myself.

He doesn't underhand that looking after baby is tiring and exhausting, and I would appreciate some help without having to ask or it being an inconvenience.

Funded childcare

Does anyone here claim universal credit and get the 30 hours funded child care? If so what do I have to do in terms of my universal credit because it’s saying i may need to contact DWP about my universal credit options. I don’t get what I need to contact them for