Tough Time

I’m 15 weeks pp and I can confirm you’re not a jerk. I felt this way, still kinda do, but it’s not as strong.. I just had to have a real conversation with him about how what he was doing made me feel..
I was like “look when I give you advice, I’m not trying to be a know it all or mean, but I’ve been with him day in and day out, for days, since he’s been born, I’ve spent every day and night with him. So I know him like the back of my hand and then some. So I’m trying to help you not make mistakes that I learned from already with him. Please don’t take it lightly.” Plus we had some conversations about other things like how he’s been with me and such.. and it’s getting better..

So sorry you are going through this. You are not a jerk and neither is your husband. Having a baby completely change the relationship dynamic. It also brings all childhood memories / trauma / upbringing from both sides into a new family.

Be gentle to yourself, and to your husband too. Likewise, he needs to do that as well.

I am currently 10 months PP and still navigating and processing this new dynamic.

One thing I want to assure you, while he may be great husband and provider, money is not a tool for you to minimize your feelings. Your feelings are valid.

What I learnt from my therapist during this time is to trust in his way (let go of the need to do certain ways just because we spend more time with baby). Let him do things he’s comfortable with as long as the baby is safe with him. You and husband may have different styles in connecting/ bonding / reading cues - and both are right.

If you struggle with that as well, maybe list down things you are comfortable with him doing, like bath and reading daily while you take care of feeding, napping and bedtime.

It’s not you vs. him but you&him vs. the hard times.

All the best and I hope this works out for both of you. This isn’t gonna be forever.

Postpartum is likely to blame for how you feel love
It takes a full two years to truly recover no matter how healthy you are
And it’s a solid 8 months in even a health nut before your hormones level back out
It’s a HARD conversation to have but an important one! You will always know better than your husband instinctively but his way to connect or learn the babies cues will be entirely different
I didn’t feel like a person again until long after my first turned 2 for some people it takes a good long while!
Have a deep and open conversation with your husband and be willing to listen (and not take to heart something that might be said you might not be prepared to hear) and hopefully it levels out!
You got this!