Tough Time
I love my husband, and he’s an amazing father. Now that I’ve become a SAHM, he’s the one taking on a ton of pressure and providing for our family. I get all of that and I’m so grateful to him, so why do I feel cranky with him all the time?
When he’s got the baby, I feel like he’s doing it all wrong. Like he’s being stubborn and not listening to my advice. He always thinks the baby is crying from gas, which isn’t always the case, but burps him anyways. He doesn’t want to listen to me, even though caring for the baby is my full time job.
When he’s with me, it’s like he doesn’t know what he’s doing either, which has never been the case before the baby. He doesn’t say the right things, or check in on how I’m doing postpartum.
Does this feeling pass? Am I a jerk?
What's a Wife's job?.
I'm looking for some honest perspective from other women because I'm feeling really confused and hurt after a conversation with my husband today.
For years, I've tried to be the supportive partner. I've rearranged my work schedule so he wouldn't have to miss work, worked late nights and weekends to make up my hours, handled last-minute changes, and tried to make life easier for our family. I work full time from home while also caring for our kids, but because I work from home, he feels my job isn't as demanding and says he doesn't understand how I can be overwhelmed.
Today, I calmly told him that I've been feeling unappreciated. I wasn't blaming him or attacking him—I was simply trying to share how I feel. Instead, the conversation turned into him saying that I don't do what a wife is supposed to do.
When I asked him what he meant, his example was that he had to do the dishes today and that he accepted doing "a wife's job." The thing is, I worked a 12-hour day today while caring for the kids, and he has today plus the next two days off. I didn't realize I was expected to do the dishes during my lunch break just to be considered a good wife.
I'm honestly questioning myself. Is this a normal expectation? Am I missing something? How would you respond if your spouse told you that doing the dishes is "a wife's job," despite everything else you contribute to your family?
I'd really appreciate hearing from women who have been through something similar or can offer an outside perspective because right now, I'm feeling hurt, unseen, and wondering if my expectations of partnership are unrealistic.
Are all 3 year olds like this?
My 3 year old is horrible to be around at the moment. Everything that comes out of her mouth is a whine. Just doing some colouring this morning - she asks me to write her name and its too big, then its too small, then its not the right colour and we have a meltdown. But its ALL DAY. Then even though she's fully toilet trained and goes to the toilet perfectly in public, at home she will go to the toilet where ever she pleases. Multiple times a day I'm cleaning up wee and poo from carpets and furniture. Shes constantly ignoring me, crying, shouting demands. Its just endless. We take toys away from her, put her in time out, etc. nothing seems to work, but she ls an angel at nursery. I love her but I dread the days she isnt at nursery. It feels unbearable. How long does this go on for? I'm tied to a 2 month old all day and night and my husband is working 12 hour days (from home so he hears it all) and we're just miserable. Sorry for the rant, just looking for any kind of support at this point.
