Am I a terrible wife?

Hey all…I am 4 months postpartum and struggle with PPD/PPA. My husband knows nothing about mental health no matter how many times I explain what I’m going through. This evening he asked if I could “schedule him in for a makeout session.” I told him sure…whenever he takes care of the laundry for the kids, cooks, cleans, takes our son to his frequent appts, runs the household, remembers our sons meds, etc and he just looked at me. He helps some don’t get me wrong. But he leaves the mental load to me, waits for me to tell him what to do and then says I didn’t remind him if he forgets to do something. Am I a terrible wife? Y’all I am exhausted to my core 🫩 we both also work full-time.

in our community

Just a vent..

Spending my birthday doing the same exact thing I do every day… Just being a mom. I hate how reduced I’ve become. I have no hobbies, I have to schedule showers and HOPE I can actually get it done, I have no friends, I’m just a mom. I spend all day and all night doing nothing other than being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids endlessly and all I ever wanted was to be a mom. But idk today I just want to be me again. I want to crochet without little hands ripping at my yarn. I want to shower without feelings rushed to get back momming or hearing the kids scream bc dad isn’t doing things how mom does. I want to be in the company of adults instead of a toddler and a baby. I want a legitimate conversation outside of “A says AH” and “please stop doing X, Y, Z”. I don’t have an income bc I stay home with the kids, so even getting myself a gift isn’t possible.
Today is bigger for me than just another birthday. I’ve officially lived 10 years longer than I ever planned to. I’m 4 years clean and sober as well. Ive never been sober this long. And idk maybe they aren’t big deals in the grand scheme of things… but they are big to ME. I have no one to talk to about these things and I don’t think anyone I know even cares.
My mom was supposed to come over and she hasn’t shown, hasn’t responded to my calls or texts, my boyfriend is working but didn’t even seem to notice what day it is today before he left for work, no one’s checked up on me in a long time. I’m just sat here with the kids alone in my thoughts. Can’t even really distract myself with them really. The baby is fussy bc teething and my toddler is nonverbal and functionally only about 2. So it’s just me, myself, I ya know?
That’s all. Just needed to get some things out.

Need help, husband is financially abusive and I want to travel for my Grandmothers funeral but he is very controlling with his money.

So my Grandmother just passed away and i would like to travel for the funeral. I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids and haven’t been in the work field in years. Especially after we moved it didn’t make sense to find a job since my kids are young.

My husband is the one that works and handles EVERYTHING!!! I do not get any weekly or monthly allowance 😔We don’t share bank accounts or anything. Once in a while he will give me a $100 here and there. So most of my spending goes to my Visa card but then he gets upset and wonders what I buy because he is the one that will have to pay it off. Then he makes the comment let’s see how long it will take until you come to me to pay it off.
Most of the things I buy are for the kids. We go on outings because it’s the summer and I try to find affordable things to do with them but then they need food or I go to the grocery and pick up some things that I need for the house or for dinner that day.

He does the grocery shopping but it’s always the same random things. It’s not like groceries based on meals that are planned out for dinner.

So anyways my grandmother passed away and I told him I would like to travel and go to her funeral since I missed my grandfathers funeral. It took a a lot of back and forth about how financially now is not the time and how we should go another time. My family had a group meeting and want me to be there since I haven’t seen them in YEARS. They also want me to do the Eulogy so I have to travel to get there.

In the end he end up booking the flight and hotel for me but he said I have to bring our toddler with me because he doesn’t want to watch him or deal with him. So I will be alone on a very long 2 days of traveling (flying and layover) but there for a week with my toddler.

I also will need spending money for food but I am scared to ask him because he already made a big deal about this trip. I am honestly happy for the break away from him but how am I going to manage without extra cash. I need to pay for taxis, I have to contribute to the funeral as well. My toddler eats a lot and I have to buy food since the hotel charges for all the meals.

I should add we have been married for 14 years and I am unhappy with the situation 😞

Is there a quick job I can do (toddler has to come too) because he is always with me. I need to make some extra cash to bring with me.

I really appreciate all of you who read this and offered any suggestions ❤️

Looking for new career path!

I have worked in childcare for over 10 years now and started to out grow the job and looking for something new, but childcare is all I know so hard to know where to start.
So wondering what you mummies do as a living and work about life as a mum?

Thank you

Advice needed….

Home schooling in the UK.

Is there any curriculum that the children have to follow? I know someone who has decided to home school her children, both children are over the age of 10.

They do absolutely zero school work, they are left to their own devices 99% of the time. They sit on their phones or play on their PlayStation.
Both children struggle to read, write and spell.
They can’t tell the time or do simple maths.

I’m concerned for the welfare of the children. It seems that they are just slave labour for their parents and are always doing some form of housework.
These children don’t have days out or holidays either. They get promised stuff and then it’s ’well we’ve got to get this done round the house first and if it’s not done then we don’t go’ even when stuff have been done the parents come up with another reason why they can longer do what they told the children they could do.

I’m an outsider looking in and it breaks my heart.
Is there anything I can do?

Feeling tore

I’ve always wanted a big family since i was an only child who grew up with lots of cousins.
Now I’m a mom to a perfect little girl, I realize that I’m quite selfish with my time. I’m not like the other moms where I’m energetic about spending time with baby. It feels more like work than work itself.
Maybe this is because I had my baby in my 30s and I’m more set in my ways? We get a lot of help and can easily get a couple nights off per week. I know I really shouldn’t make a fuss.
Will this dynamic change after 2-3 kids or when the kids are older?

Advice on foods to give my 11 month old

Tried a few different foods such as toast, pancakes, scrambled eggs and cereal. He only likes scrambled eggs and pancakes.
Any recommendations or ideas, feel free to message me anytime!
Thank you 😊