Just a vent..

Spending my birthday doing the same exact thing I do every day… Just being a mom. I hate how reduced I’ve become. I have no hobbies, I have to schedule showers and HOPE I can actually get it done, I have no friends, I’m just a mom. I spend all day and all night doing nothing other than being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids endlessly and all I ever wanted was to be a mom. But idk today I just want to be me again. I want to crochet without little hands ripping at my yarn. I want to shower without feelings rushed to get back momming or hearing the kids scream bc dad isn’t doing things how mom does. I want to be in the company of adults instead of a toddler and a baby. I want a legitimate conversation outside of “A says AH” and “please stop doing X, Y, Z”. I don’t have an income bc I stay home with the kids, so even getting myself a gift isn’t possible.
Today is bigger for me than just another birthday. I’ve officially lived 10 years longer than I ever planned to. I’m 4 years clean and sober as well. Ive never been sober this long. And idk maybe they aren’t big deals in the grand scheme of things… but they are big to ME. I have no one to talk to about these things and I don’t think anyone I know even cares.
My mom was supposed to come over and she hasn’t shown, hasn’t responded to my calls or texts, my boyfriend is working but didn’t even seem to notice what day it is today before he left for work, no one’s checked up on me in a long time. I’m just sat here with the kids alone in my thoughts. Can’t even really distract myself with them really. The baby is fussy bc teething and my toddler is nonverbal and functionally only about 2. So it’s just me, myself, I ya know?
That’s all. Just needed to get some things out.

in our community

Anyone else’s (male) partner think packing the car is the number one job when getting ready to leave for a trip?

Whenever we’re going anywhere, the first thing he wants to do is load the car. He’s constantly on me “is this ready to go in the car? Is that ready to go in the car?”

He’ll literally take bags that are half packed and start loading them. One time he put an empty cooler in the trunk and said I could just carry the food out to it.

We’re going to a water park hotel for 2 days and 1 night today, and that’s the first thing he said to me 🙃

I have said it to him many times that I like to take an account of things before we start loading it up, and there are many tasks that can be done before it’s time to load the car (the kids are still in their pyjamas…)

My husband has hit me again !!

I understand we started rough , I can’t even believe I’m typing this because I would see stories like this and think this can’t be me . He hit me the first time 2 years ago , sometimes during an argument he would almost hit me but it somehow we stopped by his manipulative mother who lives with us . He’s the only son and she has no husband so of course she has to live here . Now because of her he has hit me ! I told myself I would cope because of the kids , two boys , how will I cope ?? They need a man .. that’s what I kept telling myself . I’ve left before and somehow found myself back again with him and his mother because they begged me to come back . Now I have a busted lip ! A busted lip ! Bleeding .. can’t believe this . On my first day of my work ! Just because they are gonna make me a GM?? Is that it ?? Because since yesterday he’s been talking about it .. I don’t know . .. I’m so sad that this is my life . I just want to leave this earth and rest with my mum cause I’m so ashamed of myself and how I could end up with a man like this .but I can’t leave my kids .. I don’t know …

BD

My son’s father wants to have a “talk”. I don’t want to . I don’t want to hear him . I’m actually in this stage where I don’t feel nothing for him . Everything I felt before I finally decided to get away from him , is still there . I know that he might want to get back together I do miss the feeling of sleeping with someone & cooking for someone but I don’t miss providing for someone other than my child . That’s when messed up . I feel like he only wants to be a family because he knows I held it down . I did everything. I hate being used . I hate feeling like the last option . This man put me through so much I don’t even want to look at him anymore . I feel bad bc my son always ask about him coming to move with us but he don’t get the pain he caused me . I felt like a different person . I hated myself actually . To think that I would want a family when in reality I know that he only wants to come back because he can’t do it alone is unfair and heartbreaking to me . I don’t have feelings for him but I do care that he isn’t in a stable place or environment. I just feel like shit . I hate my life right now

OH too rough with newborn?

I feel like my other half is *ever so slightly* too rough with our 4-week-old.

I **know** I'm overly cautious, but I feel like he's the complete opposite. He doesn't always support her neck when he picks her up, holds her bottle almost straight down so she's gulping, passes her over one-handed (literally by one hand, not even his arm), towel-dries her like she's a soggy Labrador, and tugs on her legs when he's getting her into the baby carrier. The list goes on.

I know, without a doubt, he'd never intentionally hurt her. I'm trying so hard not to be a helicopter parent because I don't want to knock his confidence or make him feel like he can't do anything right. But I get genuinely anxious at the thought of leaving her with him because he's just not as gentle or careful as I am.

I'm not saying my way is the only right way. I probably *am* too careful. I just don't know how to bring it up without sounding critical. She's his baby too, and I don't want him to feel like I'm gatekeeping.

But also... mate, please stop handling the baby like she's a takeaway coffee. 😅

Missing out?

My 3.5 year old toddler doesn’t watch any kids shows on TV. Other children seem interested in TV show characters and enjoy incorporating them in their play. Sometimes other toddlers try to play/ talk about these with him and he doesn’t engage well due to the unfamiliarity. Even his nursery have done activities based around TV characters/shows. Is he missing out because we do not give him access to these? Should I introduce them?

He does have limited some screen time but these do not include watching TV shows with characters. I really wanted to have limited screen time for as long as possible.

rude or not?

we live in a rural farmland community on a single street residential area. my daughter is 6.5 and homeschooled. we like to go outside with our dogs early and most, if not all, mornings she is hootin’ and hollerin’, laughing, and just generally having a good time, she’s loud lol. we go outside around 7-7:30am every day, part of me wants to ask her to keep it down because we have neighbors on all sides, other part of me doesn’t want to squish her joy.
should i: