Need help, husband is financially abusive and I want to travel for my Grandmothers funeral but he is very controlling with his money.

So my Grandmother just passed away and i would like to travel for the funeral. I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids and haven’t been in the work field in years. Especially after we moved it didn’t make sense to find a job since my kids are young.

My husband is the one that works and handles EVERYTHING!!! I do not get any weekly or monthly allowance 😔We don’t share bank accounts or anything. Once in a while he will give me a $100 here and there. So most of my spending goes to my Visa card but then he gets upset and wonders what I buy because he is the one that will have to pay it off. Then he makes the comment let’s see how long it will take until you come to me to pay it off.
Most of the things I buy are for the kids. We go on outings because it’s the summer and I try to find affordable things to do with them but then they need food or I go to the grocery and pick up some things that I need for the house or for dinner that day.

He does the grocery shopping but it’s always the same random things. It’s not like groceries based on meals that are planned out for dinner.

So anyways my grandmother passed away and I told him I would like to travel and go to her funeral since I missed my grandfathers funeral. It took a a lot of back and forth about how financially now is not the time and how we should go another time. My family had a group meeting and want me to be there since I haven’t seen them in YEARS. They also want me to do the Eulogy so I have to travel to get there.

In the end he end up booking the flight and hotel for me but he said I have to bring our toddler with me because he doesn’t want to watch him or deal with him. So I will be alone on a very long 2 days of traveling (flying and layover) but there for a week with my toddler.

I also will need spending money for food but I am scared to ask him because he already made a big deal about this trip. I am honestly happy for the break away from him but how am I going to manage without extra cash. I need to pay for taxis, I have to contribute to the funeral as well. My toddler eats a lot and I have to buy food since the hotel charges for all the meals.

I should add we have been married for 14 years and I am unhappy with the situation 😞

Is there a quick job I can do (toddler has to come too) because he is always with me. I need to make some extra cash to bring with me.

I really appreciate all of you who read this and offered any suggestions ❤️

in our community

Today was hard

I got to see my big boy on video but the ending was the rough part because he didn't wanna get off the phone . He misses me and I miss him . I broke down after we got off the phone and I'm sure he did too. I love you my big boy.

Missing out?

My 3.5 year old toddler doesn’t watch any kids shows on TV. Other children seem interested in TV show characters and enjoy incorporating them in their play. Sometimes other toddlers try to play/ talk about these with him and he doesn’t engage well due to the unfamiliarity. Even his nursery have done activities based around TV characters/shows. Is he missing out because we do not give him access to these? Should I introduce them?

He does have limited some screen time but these do not include watching TV shows with characters. I really wanted to have limited screen time for as long as possible.

Behaviour question ?

So back story we are friends with my child’s nursery key worker. My child has always been very very high needs since she was born and now she’s 3 it’s honestly just relentless. Our friend said they all thought she could have ADHD but it’s not like they’ve actually formally mentioned anything.

The other day they asked if I could take her to get her hearing tested as she says ‘what’ a lot and basically doesn’t listen to instructions and talks sooo loudly all the time. Obvs I know this can be typical behaviour. Is it worth mentioning that nursery mentioned ADHD at the dr appointment? As it was off guard I’m not sure what to do with this info?
The other thing is that nursery is a bit of a free for all and not sure if this is learnt behaviour? She’s always having fights with this lad that picks on her even though she says she’s friends with him. She never says anyone gets told off.

She starts a new pre school soon and they said they will give every new child an assessment to see if they have any extra needs so not sure if to wait till then and see how she gets on? Could just be environment?

There’s obviously a lot more of her behaviour that I haven’t mentioned but it’s a LOT. I feel quite lonely and sad because it is very hard work.

Calling all mamas who have travelled with a 4 month old… I need your advice! ✈️💛

We’re taking our little girl abroad for the first time soon, and I’d love to hear all your tips and tricks!

What are your absolute must pack items? Is there anything you took that ended up being a lifesaver (or something you wish you’d packed)?

I’d also love any advice for getting through the airport:
✈️ Is a baby carrier easier than the pushchair?
🍼 Any tips for security, boarding or feeding on take-off and landing?
🧳 What did you keep in your hand luggage?

And how did you keep your 4-month-old happy on the plane? Did they sleep most of the flight, or were there any toys or activities that kept them entertained?

Please share anything you wish someone had told you before your first trip with a baby! All advice is welcome🤍

Am I overreacting?

my baby daddy works days and I work night shifts. we are no longer together but we live in the same apartment for now until the lease is up in 2 months and I’ll be moving back in with my parents. I woke up this morning to a bandage on my 1.5 year olds forehead and so I took it off to check. she had a big gash on her head so I texted and called him multiple times. he’s been ignoring me all morning (from 10am and it is currently 3:30pm) and he didn’t mention anything about it to me last night when I got home from work. Since I didn’t know how it happened I took her to a pediatric urgent care to get checked out. they cleaned the wound and glued it shut and said she will be fine but might have minimal scarring. I’m highly considering taking her to my parents house for us to spend the night there since his lack of communication is making me upset. Her health and safety comes first and he needs to learn how to communicate with me about serious things like this.

Just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing and if anyone has advice I would greatly appreciate it.

Serious life changing question…need advice. Move across country- leave my husband behind.

My job wants me to move to California (across the country) for a promotion that will change me and my families life. My husband loves his kids but he is not a father or a supportive partner. He doesn’t take the kids anywhere I always go by myself or with my sister. My oldest is 14 and he’s been out doing something fun with him less than 10 times his whole life. My 3 and 4 year old have never been out with him. He doesn’t know a single drs name, teachers name ect. I cook I clean I take care of the kids, I handle finances EVERYTHING. There is not one responsibility of him. He works that’s it. I make more money than him now and I am going to make a LOT more with this promotion. I will be able to support myself and my kids financially without issue. I take care of my husband. He doesn’t clean up after himself, he pees in the toilet and just leaves it there. I am so tired of it. We are living paycheck to paycheck because he spends 400$ on weed a month. I fight with him every week about it. Would it be wrong of me to pick my kids up and move to California? Mind you, I don’t get the promotion if I don’t move to California.