Nobody to look after our toddler when I give birth

Unbelievably, I'm 38 weeks pregnant and we still don't have a proper plan in place for when I give birth for who will look after our 3 year old. We are planning a home birth and just hoping that it'll happen during the night. We have hired a doula who can help us out by either staying with me while my husband settles my toddler/drives him to nursery etc or goes and plays with him herself. But both my husband and I agree we aren't comfortable with leaving him with the doula if we need to transfer into hospital as she is essentially a stranger to him (we've only met her once). We know a couple of local families who may be able to look after our son for a couple hours at most. Again, we aren't particularly close with anyone so we wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him overnight with anyone. No family around, except my brother who is a 2 hour drive from us and told us he's too busy to help....wtf do we do...so stressed...has anyone here ever brought their toddler to hosptial? Or left their husband/partner at home to look after toddler? I'm devastated at the thought of my husband missing the birth but I think it would be the least stressful option?

in our community

Husband issues

I’m 15 weeks pp and have retained 10kgs post delivery. I’m exclusively breastfeeding so don’t have the time to work out or go on diet. Other day I tried to fit in my pre pregnancy jeans for a small outing. Hub comments “ look at your tummy, it’s clearly visible and you look like an aunt “

I have been slim my entire life, and already dealing with body issues. His comment made me sad. I shared how i feel, he said he was joking and i take everything seriously. 😟 he is also texting and trying to be friends with my best friend. I’m so upset right now.

Give me your thoughts

Does my husband have a right to complain that I’m a jobless, low-income wife? Every night, I take care of our daughter and stay up late until she falls asleep. On top of that, I also work part-time at our family business.

Would you quit?

I started a new job almost 3 weeks ago. A daycare teacher and my two children attend the daycare with me. They are 3 and half and 10 months old. Since starting the daycare they haven’t been doing well. We had to take this week off because they got sick. Which granted I know is a given because they’ve never been around this many germs before. However after taking my 10 month old to urgent care last weekend because he had pink eye to discover he has lost one pound since starting daycare.
I know this because a few days before starting he had his 9 month old check up. He’s not eating well and won’t drink bottles because he’s primarily breastfed.

My 3 year old isn’t doing well either. The teachers seem to be annoyed by him and his behavior. I know he needs extra help and the daycare isn’t the right environment for him which I have plans to help him in place but I’ve witnessed the teachers being a little rough with him and he has left the classroom with a mark on his arm they had no explanations for. He tried to leave the building. Which I do not believe but he did leave a classroom without the teachers knowledge. My director already told me from day 2 if this behavior continues he will no longer be allowed to attend as it’s a safety issue. Last week the director wasn’t at the center she was on vacation. A stand in director spoke to me in a manner I did not like. Claiming my son “doesn’t belong in a general education setting” and sent me home with my children on the day my son left a classroom.
Everytime I drop my children off in their classrooms they scream and cry for me. Which I know is normal but the teachers in the room don’t do much to comfort them. When they know I’m just down the hall.
In addition to all of this. I’m sensing a very toxic work environment where everyone talks about everyone behind their back and nobody is happy there. Which I also know can be common in this line of work but when you add your children to the mix. It gets scary. What would you do?

Am I being stupid?

Hey ladies.. I need your help. My husband has a brother who unfortunately divorced his wife. Recently the brother has been saying to me/my husband that I remind him of his ex wife? I have heard negative things about his ex wife and this has got me thinking do I remind him of the bad things? It is just annoying as I am my own person and he doesnt know me that well as a person to make his judgement. They obviously divorced for a reason and it just doesn’t sit right with me that he compares me to his ex-wife.

Am I a terrible wife?

Hey all…I am 4 months postpartum and struggle with PPD/PPA. My husband knows nothing about mental health no matter how many times I explain what I’m going through. This evening he asked if I could “schedule him in for a makeout session.” I told him sure…whenever he takes care of the laundry for the kids, cooks, cleans, takes our son to his frequent appts, runs the household, remembers our sons meds, etc and he just looked at me. He helps some don’t get me wrong. But he leaves the mental load to me, waits for me to tell him what to do and then says I didn’t remind him if he forgets to do something. Am I a terrible wife? Y’all I am exhausted to my core 🫩 we both also work full-time.

My son who is 3 has never been to a setting….. is anyone else the same?

My son who turned 3 in June has never been to a setting, I work 3 days per week and he stays with my parents.
I’ve enrolled him into forest school in September, 5 mornings 9-12.
I’m so nervous - what if the staff are really strict with him and shout at him, what if other children are mean to him.
we won’t be there to look after him 😭
I’ve not let him know I’m worried about all this of course, but he keeps saying I don’t want to go nursery on my own and it’s breaking my heart! But I don’t want it to come to next year (reception) and him really struggle if he’s never been anywhere?