Grandparents…

How old is your baby?
Neither of mine were without me until they were a year old (I wasn’t even breastfeeding). And even then, it was only with my own mum who came round every week so knew their routine.

They’ve never seen my MIL without me or husband there, but she doesn’t show a lot of interest generally.

I wouldn’t be letting anyone take my baby for extended periods if I didn’t want them to and certainly not if they didn’t already spend long amounts of time with them and knew their routine etc.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

You're not being unreasonable at all. She's your baby and you shouldn't be made to feel under pressure to let them have her. Do what feels right for you and don't feel bad about it at all. My girl is also 3 months and there's no way I'd be letting her stay over night or have full days or even hours away from me yet because I'm not ready or comfortable yet. Keep offering what you feel comfortable with and they will have to accept that and should respect your feelings. 💜💜

Wow they sounds awful. It's completely normal to not want to be away from your baby and they need to accept that, never do anything until you are ready!

I wouldnt even let own mother watch my girl for a couple hours without till I had to go back to work in person at 4 months old. I barely let my husband have her without me. His mother still hasnt had our daughter for more then a couple hours alone and my girl is 2.5 years old now.
Your MIL can resent you all she wants thats emotionally manipulative for her to say/threaten that.
At the end of tye day shes your baby, not theirs. You do not owe them time.

My son is now 7 and I still don’t really let people have him. Certainly no overnight sleepovers. And I have battled my MIL time and time again and her comments of ‘you don’t trust me’. Nope and idc because I owe people NOTHING when it comes to my child, and I owe my child EVERYTHING to protect and raise them how I see fit. Nobody is guaranteed access to your child. No apologies or justification necessary x

You are absolutely not being unreasonable! Do not let them force you into something you do not want to do.

They should respect your wishes and boundaries and if they don't then I'd be telling them where to stuff it.

There is no reason for them to have your baby at such a young age on their own. If they are seeing them regularly anyway then there's no issues.

You're mum, it's on your terms

Not unreasonable at all. The thing you’re feeling is the natural instinct of ANY mammal towards its baby, and there is a reason for that- you don’t need to fight it. You’ve offered reasonable compromises- they simply have to accept those. 3 months is VERY young.

How honest have you been about your feelings? I found with some folks in my life that a lot of the pressure was well intentioned - they wanted to give me a break, and instill confidence- but when I stopped making excuses and instead just told them ‘I’m not ready, that is how it is’, they were way more respectful of my needs. I was ready, around 18 months.

Her saying she’ll end up resenting you for it is a form of manipulation. If it were me, I would not want anyone like that around my child.

Sounds like my FMIL she even got a next to me for sleepovers. Told her there is no way in hell would my baby be staying over that young. Stand up to them and don't let them off with their shit. Its your baby, you get to decide what happens. They can go on about trust and simply tell them it's not about that but if they keep on pushing they will lose all contact altogether x

girl did you just say she’s 3 months?! unless you really need them to look after her for a few hours there’s no reason your baby shouldn’t be/sleeping with you. she’s so tiny what do you mean sleepover!? so no, you’re not being unreasonable. it’s sweet that they want to have her and that way you can get a break but maybe when she’s 1+ year old! so sorry you’re going through this x

They can go do one in my opinion, you only gave birth a few months ago and it's entirely reasonable to not want to let baby out of your sight. I would mention to partner and health visitor because this is your baby that you brought into this world and no one else's and everyone else needs to understand that and back off

That’s YOUR baby, no one should be able to pressure you into anything YOU don’t want. You are her advocate