Am i over reacting

Really need help on how to deal with an on-going situation.. me and my partner parent differently he has a more angry approach i guess.. for a while now Ive noticed him grabbing our toddler by the arm if he’s being dangerous or to move him etc.. when i tell him i don’t like that or tell him not to do that he tries to gas light me and say he didn’t.. at times I’ve thought maybe i’m over reacting because of my own violent childhood and maybe im feeling triggered but then i sit and think well i can parent without being hands on so? Also our toddler has started jumping on me and using me as a climbing frame, very normal at this age ofc but I’m pregnant so its a worry, he wasn’t listening and kept doing it again and again and i tried gentle parenting and distraction and all sorts and nothing worked eventually my partner lost his shit and put him in his own bed and shouted at him pointing his finger in his face, our toddler then stopped, didn’t cry or anything. He doesn’t seem hurt when the arm is being grabbed but I still don’t want to parent that way, i don’t really know how to approach the subject with my partner anymore because its causing tension, any ideas or advice please? Also am i being a snowflake about all of this or is what im feeling valid?

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I personally think there’s nothing wrong with a sterner form of parenting, we all had it when we were younger and most of us have turned out to be decent humans. For me if a child isn’t listening to verbal instructions and continues to be dangerous ect then they need to be removed from the situation.

Yes there are some things that are out of hand, like aggressively grabbing or pulling at the child but a firm hold and some direction never goes a miss and is sometimes required.

I can understand why it might upset you, and that the gas lighting is not okay. Maybe try and have a chat with your partner about how you’d both like to handle disobedience so you’re on the same page. If you don’t have the same routine when it comes to bad behaviour your child will realise this is maybe get confused when it comes to consequences

I have 3 children (oldest being 13 youngest 2 and a baby on the way) and I or my partner have never had to or would want to grab them or physically touch them to give them wrong. I would actually not do that to anyone never mind my own child, so I agree with you.

I could understand if they where running into the middle of a road to stop them hurting themselves but not as a punishment.

Everyone parents differently but if it upsets you, maybe have a discussion and learning a way you can both parent the same way together as 2 different types of parenting could confuse your child.

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