Do you think this is acceptable?

A few times lately when my husband and I have had a disagreement and I’ve tried to walked away, he would grab my arm and pull me back but immediately let go. Tonight it happened again, we had a disagreement about the car and I knew this wasn’t going to get anywhere so I just turned away to walk out the kitchen and he immediately grab my arm and pulled me back and said don’t roll your eyes at me!! I didn’t roll my eyes at him, I l literally turned around to walk out the kitchen because I didn’t want to continue this discussion. I called him out on it saying why does he thinks it’s okay to grab me and pull me back and he tried to continue the car discussion. I said I was done about conversation and that I want to get to the bottom as to why he thought that was okay. He didn’t say anything and we went up for bed. We got to the bedroom and I questioned him again saying why did be feel comfortable grabbing me like that and when did he think this was acceptable? He completely ignored me and just laid there staring at the ceiling. I stood there and waited for a response and nothing so I repeated myself again and asked him, why he felt comfortable grabbing me like that! He didn’t say anything back and just laid there and completely ignored me. We’ve been together for 7 years and this has never happened until recently. As someone who grew up in an abusive home, I don’t want history to repeat itself, I have daughter to protect and a baby on the way! I don’t know why he has started doing this!

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👀 I wanna know who voted for “nothing wrong there?”

If I had to answer your question on “why he has started doing this” - maybe this is what he saw as an acceptable behavior somewhere. I’m not saying it’s okay or saying something to excuse his behavior! It’s not okay preventing someone from leaving when they clearly need to step away. That’s a physical boundary violation in my books!

Maybe he’s seen one of his friends do it to their partners and they immediately relented to the man. Maybe he’s seen it on a film/TV show and thought let me keep this in the memory bank to use one day when she’s getting out of hand. Maybe he’s managed to keep his mask from slipping for 7 years and was always like this. Maybe he thinks whilst you are pregnant and vulnerable that this is an effective way to show you he is the man and in control. Who knows!

But what I do know is he has crossed the line. A major boundary of being physical with you. He’s lost control and in order to regain it, has resorted to grabbing you. Look at the escalation of what you first said - he grabbed you and then immediately let go to second time grabbing you, pulling you back and telling you not to roll your eyes at him. Next time will it be a slap afterwards? A punch? Strangling you? Murder?

What makes this worse is, you said you were pregnant too. If he can do this whilst you are carrying his child…

It's absolutely not acceptable. He shouldn't put his hands on you at all. Grabbing your arm is putting his hands on you.

This is completely unacceptable behavior. It’s honestly a giant red flag because the way I see it is he completely dismissed your boundary of being done with the conversation and the grabbing of your arm is giving intimidation tactic to get you to submit to him. And as someone who grew up in an abusive household as well this is your red flag to start making plans to get out. If you don’t he will see what else he can get away with. The can of worms has been opened. It’s why he gave you the silent treatment. Cuz he doesn’t want to be held accountable and if you stay he will think it’s acceptable treatment and he will keep pushing your threshold. Trust your gut. Make silent plans to leave.

in our community

Food

Not here to be judged please. Looking for advice.

I’m an over feeder, no matter who it is I will always provide more than enough food on everyone’s plate. I’d rather people have more than enough than not enough 🤷🏻‍♀️

My question is, how do you know when your baby has had enough food? I feel like my 13 month old would keep eating and keep eating and keep eating if I never stopped…

Just worried he could be eating too much. He has 2 bottles of cows milk per day, breakfast and before bed.

Am I crazy for feeling guilty about this?

I took my babies to a fun fair by myself
my 3 year old and my 14 month old. We went on one of the baby friendly rides, those little race cars that spins around and you sit inside.

When the ride stopped, I literally got stuck and couldn’t get up. I had my daughter in one arm, and my son couldn’t get out because we were blocking the way. There was only one guy who was working there he came over to help, so I handed him my daughter while I tried to get myself up. He was completely respectful and gave her straight back to me as soon as I was standing.

But now that I’m looking back, I can’t believe I did that 😭 I never let strangers touch my children, let alone hand my child to a man I don’t know. I was just so caught up in the moment and trying to get us all out safely.

Am I overreacting, or would you have felt the same way afterwards? 😭

behavior issues at school

My son who is 5 just started kindergarten. We are in week two and today he had a bad day. He didn’t listen at all. teacher looked worn out when I picked him up.

I also found out he was getting into a little girls face today and just being a bully and I’m worried.

Normally his conduct is good, the occasional days of not listening and talking out of term, but the bullying really startled me since it was a girl.

I know with other boys in his preschool they would rough house but I’m just worried it will escalate if I don’t kick the habit now

He is in a private school so this is considered in incident.

I talked to my son, took away the tv and iPad for today and hopes that we will have a better day tomorrow.

What should I do?

Question for When both parents are home are you both equally responsible for the children you share together?

My son has pica (eats thinks that aren’t food) and my bf (who is also his dad) blames me for when our sons eats dirt or a rose or something in the backyard, we have 2 other younger children that I’ll be tending to or finally getting self care for the day/week and he comes yelling at me because our son did that even when he’s asked to watch them for 10-20 mins. Is the responsibility always going to fall on me? I can’t be everywhere at once…. He called me today and said “u better watch it” kept saying “yeah” then hung up before I could even say anything over this same conversation even tho this has happened 2-3 times max on his watch

Husband says he doesn’t enjoy being a parent at all..

Has anyone else’s baby daddy said this or just mine? LO is 20 months btw and he won’t talk to anyone about it friends or professional! Already tried.. what do I do about this?

Partner stepping back after the newborn bubble?

Has anyone else found their partner took a step back after the first few weeks?

My other half was brilliant at first; cooking, cleaning and helping with baby. But since going back to work, we’re back to 50/50 with cooking, cleaning and the dog, while I’m looking after our EBF baby 24/7. He’s gone back to all his hobbies, while I have to ask him to watch her just so I can shower.

She’s 6 weeks old and I’ve only been out alone 4 times, all for less than an hour and usually to walk the dog or get something for her. Next week he’s out 5/7 days for hobbies and seeing friends.

I don’t want to be controlling or stop him having a life, but I also don’t feel like I should have to ask him to parent or give me a break. I want him to *want* to do it without being told. Has anyone else been through this?