Struggling and feeling selfish

I have a one month old daughter and a husband who works full time. Im currently on maternity leave but thinking about staying home and going back to school. I'm nearly 25 and now living in England having moved from the states 2 years ago. My current job was more for social reasons rather than income but I've lost that and I dont have any friends.
With that said, I dont really have anyone to celebrate my upcoming birthday with and asked my husband if it would be alright to leave him with our daughter for a weekend while I rest as my "birthday treat". He said yes. But now im hesitant.

Firstly because it feels selfish even tho I get 4 to 6 hours of sleep everyday. But secondly sometimes when im in the next room I hear how frustrated he can get with the crying. He absolutely adores our daughter of course and I dont think he'd hurt her, he's a gentle and emotional guy. But i think he underestimated what having a baby would be like.
I have four siblings I helped raise and knew what to expect and often take a few minutes to myself when its overwhelming. But he works, tries to give me my few hours of sleep, and hosts local activities so I feel like he's burning himself out. But he refuses to quit local activities to free up time for himself.
I do tend to worry more than ever with our daughter and my ptsd but im so afraid to leave and come back to a shaken baby. Is that crazy?

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Hey hun my son is also a month old and my birthday is also in a few weeks. You are not alone. Don’t feel selfish asking for a bit of me time. It’s well deserved and needed. Motherhood is overwhelming and draining but worth it so don’t hesitate to take a few days alone especially for your mental health. Doesn’t make you love your little girl any less.

If you're worried about your husband shaking the baby then that's a huge thing to talk about. You can't trust him but then equally worry he'd shake or harm her.

There's nobody more I'd trust with my children than their father. Working and having extra activities is no excuse for lack of patience. My husband works a 70 hour week plus helps care for the baby overnight and sorts after school activities but I'd never ever worry he'd lose his temper and shake the baby.
For my birthday I booked and air bnb to myself Friday - Sunday.
I never once worried
You need to have a talk about this as it's concerning

Personally I think one month is too young and attached to mom, baby will cry, baby will miss mommy and sometimes dad might not help ease the anxiety baby gets when mom is not around as you are baby's safe space so I believe it comes down to how much you trust your husband can handle the situation without affecting your baby too much.

If you feel hesitant to leave for a weekend how about a couple of hours of spa and massages? Some time to yourself but not as long as a weekend

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Struggling and feeling selfish

Recently, a missionary made assumptions about me

I was walking my kids through an indoor mall. There was a new booth ran by some missionaries of a religious group. I am going to keep the religion anonymous, because I believe all religions at their cores are good. One missionary pulled me over and complimented my cute kids. I thanked her and she asked me if I ever heard of them. I answered “yes, but I am not interested in joining.” She asked me if I can give her a couple of minutes. So far, it was a nice interaction, and I had time to kill. I decided I wouldn’t mind just listening to her for a bit. A few minutes have passed, and my kids were getting ready to leave. They were crying. I told her I need to tend to my kids. She wouldn’t stop talking. She then stepped in between me and the stroller and patted one of my kid. She proceeded to ask me “where did you grow up as a kid?” I told her and she immediately assumed I was involved as a child with the geo-political struggle of that region of the world. She basically told me how bad I was indoctrinated as a child, and how her religion can save me. I remember I felt so uncomfortable, and I told her “thank you for your time. The kids are crying. I really have to go.” Then I started walking and trying to get away from her as quick as possible.

It’s been almost 3 weeks, and this interaction is still playing over in my head. I feel so disappointed in myself like I could have ended the interaction sooner. I feel discriminated against and sad. How would you ladies handled this situation? Also should I have given her a chance to talk to me at all?

Finances

How do you all handle financial issues? We split cu no matter how much he has he is not paying it all. Every bill connected to him gets behind even rent sometimes. I’m tired but know I can’t afford to be on my own with 5 kids. The bill he does contribute does make a difference. But I’m tired if he has 200 and a bill is 120 he will give 80 and keep the rest for his self. Not for the house not for the kids. I cover all the kids financially obligations I cover the home insurance and other insurances. I cover tall the food and he has the electric it is at 800 I just saw this month. And I’m like how has this not been paid. It’s electronic bill that he gets. And I pay all the others. How does it get that high and you have the money. Guess I’m just venting but I’m tired. Says God gone make a way and I’m like yeah and you gone spend it.

Day out recommendations

Before I return to work we want to do 1 big family day out! I want it to be as baby focused as possible. Ideally somewhere he can move around and explore. He will be about 10 months. Please give me any recommendations or suggestions. Thank you
(UK based)

Too overwhelmed to take toddler out alone

Anybody else?
My boy is very high energy and is in the peak of toddler tantrum stage. I am currently pregnant again and I’m experiencing exhaustion, overwhelm and anxiety which is stopping me taking him anywhere on my own.
I would love to be able to take him to the park or play area etc on my own but it’s just too much (at least too much in my mind). I always worry how will I cope if he has a tantrum etc.
I manage to nip to the shops with him sometimes on my own as long as I have snacks etc with me for him but I feel so guilty that we don’t get to do more.

The ice cream farm in Cheshire

Has anyone been? Is it worth it? I’ve got a 2y old.

Struggling and feeling selfish

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Struggling and feeling selfish

Recently, a missionary made assumptions about me

Finances

Day out recommendations

Too overwhelmed to take toddler out alone

The ice cream farm in Cheshire