Finances

you both have to be on top of it.

Do a list of everything, add extra. The extra can go as savings or to cover contingencies. Split it, both of you pay it into a joint account. Set up direct debits for as many things as possible. And you pay the rest manually.

Start paying everything weekly and having a weekly relationship check in

Have 1 joint bank account ONLY for house expenses. Determine how much each paycheck needs to go direct to there that will cover all the basic bills for both of you. Set up direct deposit so it comes straight from his paycheck. Don't let him spend any of that money on himself. Instead use it to pay all the bills.

So a joint account to pay bills, I feel he will use it to keep tabs on what I have and what he doesn’t have to pay.

Yes a joint account is great especially if you both can set up direct deposit and each put a portion of your paycheck into it. My hubs and I do this and it has helped us stay on to of bills. It started as a small amount for our contributions and now it has grown. Before having our baby we would each work extra jobs and try to get overtime whenever possible to build a good foundation for our joint account.

I also use a program called budget by paycheck through the budget mom … she’s on instagram and has a lot of resources for financial health. It’s great because it allows you to keep track what we both spend based on our budget categories. It helps me stay on top of things (in my family i am the one to make sure bills are paid on time using both of our contributions) and it helped me get a lot of my debt paid off.

Sounds like an awful experience I’m sorry you’re going through that :(