Advice please!

So I have a friend who loves my baby and will sometimes take care of him. Her whole extended family loves my family, my baby and it seems like every time he is with them, though, his basic needs are not met. They dote on him and play with him and are so fun with him, but he never seems to eat enough or drink enough. When he was really young, maybe a couple months old, I left my friend with him and she said he only wanted one bottle that day. He was starving. At the end of the day I had to nurse him for hours because of how hungry he was. I don’t understand how she didn’t get those cues. She told me that he cried a lot, and she bounced him etc., until he went to sleep. And I’m like, he was crying because he was hungry! So time has passed and he is now an older toddler so I thought maybe it would be better this time and I let them hang out with him for just a couple hours. When he came back home, he ran to a puddle outside and tried to start drinking it. When I brought him in, I filled up a sip cup and he drank the entire thing so quickly. He was so thirsty. I was so shocked. He now knows how to ask for water so I don’t get why he didn’t get water. I’m really worried about bringing it up, but I’m definitely not gonna allow them to take care of him again until he can talk properly. What would you do in this situation?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I wouldn’t let them be around my baby unsupervised again since as much as they dote on baby they don’t meet his basic needs. I’m so sorry you and baby had to go through this 😭 xx

Stop letting them take care of your kid, you’ve had so many examples of them not doing it properly.

This screams 🚩🚩🚩🚩 to me….i wouldn’t leave my baby alone with them again. Definitely bring it up and express your concern as his mother you have to speak up for him. I personally probably wouldn’t talk to them anymore honestly.

the puddle water comment really got to me 😭😭. Your baby is too precious to be neglected by them like this and he can’t even complain to you about it 😩😩. Follow your mommy instincts it doesn’t matter if the friend gets offended they shouldn’t have done this in the first place xx

I’ll be more specific about my question. How would you address it? This is a very good friend and someone who is very kind. Just oblivious when it comes to babies. Even though she has her own. I cannot afford to lose another friendship because I don’t have anybody in my life and no support at all. No partner no family no nothing. I don’t think you guys realize just how difficult it is raising a kid without anybody. I don’t need someone to tell me that this is a red flag to never leave my baby again with her. I’ve already learned that lesson and won’t be leaving him unsupervised with them. But I do want advice on how to address the situation.

It’s a very tricky situation to address especially if she’s part of your support system :( If she’s a good friend you should be able to be open with her and ask if your baby asks for water or anything when he’s around because of how thirsty he was when he came home. Maybe mention to her how much he usually drinks as well and that you were concerned he’d be dehydrated. Ask her if he asked her for water at all and see what she says? Xx

in our community

Mums who’ve flown with a 3-month-old, what are your absolute must-haves for the flight/airport?

First time flying with our little one and I feel like there are probably loads of things I wouldn’t even think to bring 😂

Anything that made the airport, take-off/landing, feeding, nappy changes or getting them to sleep easier? Also anything you bought that you thought was essential but ended up being completely pointless?

Give me all your tips please! 🤍

Unpopular opinion

Should you have to ask your husband for help with the baby or should he take it upon himself to help?

Am I in the wrong

My partner says hes leaving me and the baby because hes been telling me I have to tell my mum about her drinking or shes not seeing our son. Ive been saying I'll say it for ages now but never got to it (we're living with her atm) she drinks quite heavily. This morning I came in the bedroom when he was sleeping and said im sitting in there with the baby for a bit becsuse shes pissing me off and I am going to say something to her too. Im stressed as it is as I do everything by myself, neither of us work but I feed (breastfeed), bath, change every nappy, do every clean at night. Hes been days before without having a cuddle with him just talking to him. He tells me im not doing right by our son even tho ive said things about her touching him before etc.. am I in the wrong? Hes made me feel like a terrible mother but I love my baby so much and have breastfed him even when everyone was telling me i should combo feed
Just to add i even cook every meal and cook the dogs chicken every night as well as do the laundry and clean the kitchen after everyone everyday

Anybody else feels like men are losing their control over women.

I just love how men are trying to use money and force as a control tool and women are just like “no thank you I rather be homeless, starve, and fight to death than to submit my soul to the devil 😌✌️ peace”

Like women are really out here leaving these toxic relationships without anything on their name, no support, and kids to top it off.

We are the real warriors 💪 and we do it in heels 👠

Anxiety but only when we are home

Anyone else’s toddler a fun sponge at home? But when you’re out is loads of fun and super confident?

At the moment it’s like night and day which makes me want to be out of our home all day which isn’t sustainable. I’m spending a fortunes visiting places and eating out or making pack lunches to take out. But at our home she whines, cry’s loads and is super anxious. She won’t play despite us encouraging her. She even has a play room and in the garden she has a swing set and a mud kitchen, paddling poor etc... She such a lucky kid. But at home it’s all tears and she acts like she’s always worried or distressed 24/7 and I have no idea why. We try and sit and paint or colour or do messy play but she’s not having any of it. There’s always something wrong and she gets terrible separation anxiety when ever I leave a room. But when we are out she runs away from me, goes exploring and she thinks it’s funny. Obviously I don’t let her out of my sight but it makes zero sense that she can then be the opposite whilst at home.

Outside the house she’s confident, will happily play with children, appears outwardly confident and most importantly she is content.

I can’t even remember the last time I spent a day in my home and because she just clings to me like a koala bear and without sounding mean, she brings the mood down in our house.

To be clear she doesn’t ever ask to go out or visit these places I’m taking her to. She just wakes up fu🤬ked off mood and me and my husband don’t know why so we just try get out of the house as quickly as possible. But man, this kid is so loved and we love our home. We’ve made it a warm and loving place hence why we had a baby so we could spend time here as a family together. I love her so much.

Perhaps this is a random one but hoping somebody else can relate ??? And if so what on earth have you done to help the situation coz I’m all out of ideas?

Weaning - 7 months

I’ve done this all before and I don’t know why I’m stressing.

My daughter is 7 months almost and I feel like I’m fighting a loosing battle with weaning. Some days she’s interested, others she barely eats anything, she had been unwell this week so I don’t think this also helped.

I’m not sure why I’m stressing about the situation but I just feel like she should be enjoying weaning more than she is. My son was a gannet and ate EVERYTHING. She seems to be the total opposite 😫

Anyone else in the same boat?