Am I being unreasonable?

We are due our second baby in October and I’ve asked my husband if he could take over the finance planning and meal planning and LO’s birthday and Christmas presents for November and December. He said no, saying am purposely setting him up for failure. He said that apparently am only doing this because i usually start Christmas and birthday shopping during the summer holidays and because I haven’t done that, am setting him up. I was originally planning on starting all the birthday and Christmas shopping during the school holidays but unfortunately my dad passed away unexpectedly at the end of June and it completely threw me off everything and my whole life has been turned upside down. Not once since my dad passed away has my husband offered to take the load off me like meal planning or finance management, he literally came to me 4 days after my dad passed away and was asking me what’s the finances was looking like so he had a few stuff he wanted to order so I had to look into that for him. I’m currently under my prenatal mental health team because since my dad passed, my mental health has declined to the point where my midwife is having weekly conversations with me about potentially going on antidepressants to manage with everything! Since my dad passed I haven’t done anything to get ready for the new baby and I’ve constantly asked my husband for help with sorting baby stuff out and it feels like am in this alone. I’m 31 weeks and nothing has been done so panic is settling in. All am asking is that he takes over those things for November and December so I can just breathe and get a break for a bit from the mental load. I will still be doing the day to day stuff like cleaning and keeping on top of everything but he hears that as me saying I won’t be anything for 2 months and just lazy around… which is far from the truth. My house is always clean, even when am unwell or has been traveling…I always make sure everything is in order and I would still have a newborn and a toddler to entertain and feed but in his mind, I’m gonna so absolutely nothing for 2 months and that am purposely setting him up for failure! I’ve already decided to do the finances stuff til October just so I can make sure all the baby stuff is sorted in time. I feel so overwhelmed at the moment and I just want to be able to shut off from this stuff just a bit so I can breathe and be present for my little ones. His mum has been absolutely amazing at helping me and supporting me through this season but she has her own life and can’t just keep dropping everything to come help me. I feel so lost and guilty for speaking up for myself because of his reaction to me asking him to help me for 2 months with the finances, meal planning, birthday and Christmas stuff!

in our community

Cleaning

I’ve been going to my grandmas house every weekend for Sunday dinner for a few months now. (With my 8 month old)

The house isn’t clean. It’s bugging me now. Her kids go there most weeknights so see her as my grands passed away 3 years ago so she’s on her own.

I cleaned her bathroom before I was pregnant.

I also cleaned the toilet when I went round there a few weeks ago bc it made me feel sick to sit on it so I just cleaned it.
(I found the stains I thought were part of chipped paint were actually dried poo)

I don’t feel comfortable going there anymore it’s so dirty. I don’t want to be rude either. But when her kids go there why don’t they do it? The answer is because they never clean either. Most of my family doesn’t clean.

I normally bring a picnic mat to put in the carpet for my son to play/sit on but forgot it last weekend so he was just on the carpet while we ate.
It wasn’t long til he was reeking of dog smell from the carpet.

My uncle said he’d clean the carpet when my boy got older but there’s no sing of that. And a few weeks ago I hoovered up in there because there was a dead fly that had been on the floor for weeks.

Is it rude to say something? I’ll even clean myself if I have to.

In the kitchen the floors never get cleaned, there’s dust, cobwebs on the sides and by the sink & piles of dead flies.

Our family had dogs and they go there for my grandma to look after while they go on holiday.

What would you do

My friend comes over with her kids and just lets them trash my house, they dont listen at all. I have 3 under 4 and they dont act that way. Her kid is 9 and running across my sofa, throwing big toys in the air letting them crash to the floor. The 7 year old keeps trying to hurt the baby and not listening to anything. They pull out every drae and cupboard. Went in my fridge n threw food everywhere in my kitchen, dining room and front room and I have had enough. She asked me to watch them yesterday and they spent 6 hours trashing my house and breaking things in repeat. Today they were here for 6 hours even though I said i had a lot on today. They live so close I cannot avoid. Her child also pulled a shelf off the wall. Tried to open the front door to let my toddler out because its "funny" and drew on my childs bed with pens i didnt give to her. I actually want to uproot my whole family and move house at this point. This is not just weekdays but evenings unexpected and weekends and if i am busy them well I cant be apparently.... overwhelmed ... stressed is an understatement

Bathrooms

How do I explain to my BD that he can't take our 4 year old daughter into the men's room because that is unsafe?!

am i wrong for not wanting anymore kids ?

my son is 3 & i feel complete . he’s already potty trained & i feel like it’s a milestone closer to “ a little more freedom “ i’ve finally gained some confidence & mental stability after having my son . falling in love with myself , going to the gym for 2yrs now & finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel . but my husband , family & in laws put so much pressure to have more kids but after a very scary experience with giving birth/postpartum i’m scared to go through that & i know every pregnancy is different but im just scared of the thought it can possibly happen again… im 26 almost 27 & i feel like there’s a timeline pressure if I do have another kid i dont want to be 30 with a newborn… not that it’s bad but i just don’t see that for myself & also i feel guilty not giving my son a sibling because when all is said & done he wont have anyone & that’s what scares me… he has cousins on my side & around his age but no cousins on his dads side…. im so conflicted… any advice ?

So fucking sick and tired of being the only adult in this goddamn house even when my child’s father is fucking home

🙃 I’m so over being the only one who actually actively parents & pays attention to our child.

I’m 28 weeks pregnant and fucking tired. The man has been picking up more and more hours and then the day he’s finally off from work I don’t get a fucking break at all.

He took our toddler into the bedroom with him under the guise of taking a nap, yet somehow only the adult fell asleep, and the toddler ran a muck and made the bedroom look like a fucking tornado went off.

Idk why I trust him at all. He’s proven time and time and time again he does not know how to watch a child.
Idk why I’m having a second child when I already know this.

I’m so fucking over it

baby food

we got cleared at my LO's 4 month check-up to introduce baby food. we've tried bananas and blueberries, she hated them. we tried corn, she hated them. we tried carrots, she hated them. the only thing she liked was sweet potatoes and a mixture of pears,carrots, and peas. would putting cereal or formula in the baby food help or does she just not like them?

edit: she turns 5 months old this Thursday. she is still bottle fed and she's maybe had baby food 4 or 5 times.