Rant 🤦♀️ Baby daddy drama M(28) F(21)
Ok this is going to be kind of long winded but i need to get my thoughts out there and need some advice!!
So i had a baby four months ago my partner was abusive and drank everyday so since having her i have left him, she does have his last name sadly but its a long story as to why i didnt want her to have mine.
So since i have had her he has been in jail four or five times all for some form of him being intoxicated either driving getting banned from a bar ect. Currently in jail atm aswell.
The only reason he has ever tried to contact me or message about her is to get to me and have some form of control over me still even though i am living with my sister and safe. Hes trying to see me more then hes trying see his own daughter or he doesnt want to see her unless im there aswell.
Since i went into preterm labor i had to stop working a lot sooner then i had planned over a month sooner i wasnt nearly where i wanted to be on buying stuff for my baby even though she has all she would ever need atm and has not went without anything not even for 10 minutes.
He had some diapers and wipes, mind you once i got them i think i bought them actually but anyways, he kept holding them over my head saying i was keeping stuff from her that she needed. He would say hed bring them but later that day i get drunk messages from him or hes in jail, again. He never wanted to agree as to where to bring them, because my sister doesnt want him to know where her house is so that me and my baby always have a safe place he doesnt know where is at. So i said my grandmas but it was never good enough.
He didnt want to send me money because im just money hungry and wont spend it on her which i have never asked him for money i asked him to place a door dash or walmart oder and have it send to my grandmas or simply he buy it and bring the stuff to my grandmas but i let it be very known i didnt need his help he didnt need to keep being so him about everything if he didnt want to do it dont do it.
Hes changed hes different its been so many days since he drank, mind you i seen the booking details of the arrest a week or so before hand so it didnt match up to how long he had “been sober” actually but anyways ignored it he wasnt going to bring anything its going to be held over my head any chance ive given him to see her he hasnt taken it hes gotten drunk or had his father come to the car and not him so im done i tried my whole pregnancy while he beat on me im done.
Well he came to my grandmothers house drunk acting a fool dropped some diapers and wipes off finally the ones i think i bought anyways because of the tag on it it was a mobile order deal, but he leaves there and gets arrest already having a DUI when he met having just got of probation at the start of this year and all the other times he went to jail while i pregame after i had her ect all of it dealing with him drinking him not having his license right now for something involving drinking and driving not to do with the probation and previous DUI hes going to get atleast 6 months hes in there right now. I know hes perfect 🙄
My issue is im conflicted on if i should put him on child support or not. Ive seen someone say they left it alone and years later the kid realized and everyone seen him for who he was, and plus the feeling of knowing i did that shit for her all me. I seen people come to agreement without court which i know we wont. The only agreement he will come to is if im staying with him, which he doesnt have a house since i stopped paying his rent right before i found out i was pregnant he lives with his grandma, the first grandma kicked him out for still drinking mind you.
I dont want to open a door that i dont need to open right? Because i refuse any overnight i dont care i will flee the damn state and im not playing about my baby, i know how he is when he get overwhelmed, and she isnt an easy baby she is fussy. I know what his family is like and what happened to him as a child to him and his brother and their mother being an alcoholic as well his grandparents he stayed with now have always disrespected me and his whole family thinks they are better then me just because im young but i have always done better then him job wise and everything even if im just now 21.
I dont want me getting child support to open the gates of him getting full custody or even trying to. I have all my files screenshots recordings paystubs and everything i need incase it goes that way my anxiety has me over prepared but he is her father at the end of the day and needs held accountable of sorts.
My main reason for wanting child support besides just in general he should support his child is because of me going on leave so early because preterm labor ive been staying with my sister her husband and her two year old son. My brother in law is the only one who works at the moment and my sister is pregnant with her second child. For when i plan to return to work my brother in law doesnt need to be supporting three children even if he can because he has an amazing job we have never went without but its unfair to him to support another mans child while raising his own and preparing for a new baby.
Im sorry for the long winded post i really needed to just word vomit and get some things out please if you have any advice i need it if you cant tell.
