Feeling fragile - NEED TO VENT.
I've just been visiting my Nan at her care home with my 7 month old. Whenever we go my daughter always gets loads of attention and the residents love her.
Today the visiting daughter of one of the residents made a remark which has upset me and this has surprised me.
My daughter rocks back and forth if you're holding her or she's sitting. This lady goes "oh she's strong, she's crawling too?" and I told her that she isn't crawling yet. Her immediate reply is one of disappointment/concern. She goes on to say "well dont let her skip to walking! My adult daughter skipped crawling and is riddled with anxiety, it's all connected".
I was like what the actual F***.
Firstly please may I see your diploma, lady I've only just met.
Secondly my son didn't crawl, has she now created something new for me to worry about????
Thirdly, I AM CRIPPLED WITH ANXIETY which you'd think she'd be a bit more thoughtful about having a daughter herself who suffers. She didn't think twice about passing down this "helpful" advice.
I have never been knocked by people's comments before but today I am feeling rough. It took all my energy not to cry. Of course I am blaming myself. We don't use containers like bouncers etc but I spent a lot of time walking with her in the pram or she is on my knee but whilst my son does football and swimming so of course naturally I feel like I've f*kd up already đ next time I see her I am going to say "think before you comment please".
I know this is a bit dramatic but like I said, I am fragile today. My daughter is currently playing on her tummy and I don't know what else I can do tbh. I thought we were doing the right things đ€·đ»ââïž
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Surely my daughter screaming her head off during tummy time is going to have more of a negative impact emotionally đđđđ
I am just hate the feeling of not doing enough. My son never crawling used to be a hot topic that pissed me off. I feel so overwhelmed âčïž
Every child is individual and also learns in their own way at their own pace, no different to adults. It's why we have different strengths throughout society, these differences are essential! Just because her daughter didn't crawl and now suffers anxiety does not mean that skipping crawling caused anxiety in any way. Anxiety is not developed from one thing like this, it's an accumulation of different factors or can be from a singular traumatic event; going straight to walking and skipping crawling is not a traumatic event.
Try to ignore her, keep doing what you're doing, and let your babies be who they are â€ïž
Oh I wish I could give you a hug!!!
You are doing fine, your daughter is doing fine. Better than fine! Itâs so hard sometimes with 1 and youâre looking after 2. We have so so much advice which often conflicts and passing comments can sometimes be just too sharp, especially when itâs about our baby/patenting, when at other times weâd brush them off without a thought. Which is what should be done with this womanâs comment!
She wouldnât have known how to answer âwhich peer reviewed medical research found that out?â âAnd how many corroborating studies?â
Some children skip crawling or have more or less tummy time. They all end up walking and sitting. No one quizzes you on when they started or can tell when they did when theyâve got going.
Thereâs research about crawling and neuronâs connecting on each side of the brain because itâs cross body movement. But honestly, we use each leg to walk and if that wasnât enough surely all that neurological development can happen after waking too! X
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