New single mums / mums struggling/ single mums

Im going insane

Im a single mother to a four month old i live with my sister but i have no help with my daughter which i can do it ik i can.

I stopped breast feeding because i was so stressed i was over supplying so i HAD to pump i had no choice i was hurting so bad but i couldnt hold her comfortably and pump so i had to stop so i failed at that

Im horrible with connections and bonding with people because being diagnosed meaning that I just don’t form connections with Ppl. It’s harder for me to feel empathy. I’m basically just a really I don’t give a fuck person, but Pregnancy changed that and all of these hormones and emotions and everything coming out that I have never felt the happiness the love the sadness it’s always been locked or I just never felt it even when it came to say I love you to family and friends. It just doesn’t have the same weight on my chest. I’m afraid this is hindering me to be able to bond with my baby so I failed that way. I’m so depressed and have so much that I can’t.

All she does is cry since I’ve had her had her she doesn’t have a colic she’s gassy, but I can get her to fart no problem she has no issue with pooping but she always cries. I can never put her down if she’s sleeping. I have to hold her. Nobody else in the house will hold her. I tried my hardest hint I need help that I feel like I’m going insane. I’m angry all the time.

So another way, I have failed is I’m angry. Like this morning for example we got up at 4 o’clock and I literally her until 10:00 AM multiple bottles in between multiple diaper changes, but she just would not stop crying. We’re not going to bed when she did fall asleep it was for seven minutes that’s it. I haven’t taken a shower in a weeks I’m going to explode.

Anytime I have asked for help for my parents or anybody they don’t ever help me with her. They don’t wanna take her. They just wanna talk and yes talking helps but I can’t tell you everything that’s going in my head cause I don’t feel like I should be thinking what’s going on in my head I’m afraid.

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Yes you can do it but it is hard and sometimes you feel like you can’t and that’s completely normal I feel that way sometimes too, it’s ok to want someone to offer they should being the other way around maybe you’d offer but in the meantime focus on the small wins like baby growing properly or little smiles
Your baby will pull out the emotions out of you maybe the people around you never showed you much love which let to your behavior and not being able to form a connection but this little tiny human will 100% rely on you his or her world will be you it’ll be an unconditional love that maybe you’ve never felt before no one will be able to break that bond.
The crying will get better and the sleeping too all baby’s are different, I lay down while holding my son he sleeps in my arms that’s ok they need that comfort it won’t be like that forever
My advice grab baby
Set a blanket or towel on the floor take a shower he needs you to be strong and maintaining hygiene for his health

It’ll all be ok girl keep pushing through God recognizes your efforts and like I tell woman all over this app, it is a privilege to be a mother God only trusts so many of us woman our babys are healthy and strong that’s all that matters find refuge in God !!🤍

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