Needs encouragement

Hi mamas, I think I just need some encouragement today. 🥺

I’ve been trying so hard to increase and maintain my milk supply—pumping more often, breastfeeding, staying hydrated, eating properly, and trying different things—but lately it feels like my supply is still slowly decreasing despite all my efforts.

I really wanted breastfeeding to work, and I think that’s why the thought of relying more on formula makes me feel emotional and a little guilty. I know logically that fed is best and that formula is perfectly okay, but emotionally I’m having a harder time accepting it.

For moms who went through something similar, especially those who eventually switched to combo feeding or mostly/exclusively formula: what helped you make peace with it?

I think I just need to hear from other moms that my baby can still be healthy, happy, thriving, and just as bonded with me even if breast milk becomes only a small part of his feeds—or if I eventually have to stop completely.

I’m tired of measuring my worth as a mum by how many ounces I can produce. I want to enjoy my baby instead of constantly worrying about the next pump. 🤍

Please share your stories or words of encouragement. I could really use them today.

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This was me a few weeks ago. I put so much pressure on myself trying to catch up with breastfeeding as I struggled from the start - little one not latching well, as well as having a lot of pain and tension in my neck and back following birth.

We'd had to introduce formula to make sure our little chunk was getting enough, and he was wanting more quite quickly given his weight. I was falling asleep trying to feed and pump, but I wanted so much to be able to at least provide a small portion to help sustain him.

I cried and beat myself up because no matter what I did, I just couldn't catch up with what he needed.

My partner kindly reminded me that all our little one needed was me and the best version I could give him, whether breastfeeding or not. I knew I needed to be kinder to myself and not see it as being defeated or a failure. But that I had given what I could on our short journey and that it had at least given him a start.

Little man has just gone 2 months and is thriving 💙

With my first, I found it very hard to accept i couldn't breastfeed because I had no milk supply. I did everything from skin to skin, pumping and then feeding my baby. Everything took 1.5 to 2 hours and then after an hour, I would repeat the process again. My child also had tongue tie and would not latch on properly. I went to a few breastfeeding clinics and long story short... a specialist midwife told me that I probably will not produce any milk. It was disheartening to hear but I think I needed to be told to stop. I tried for 8 weeks and stopped trying. I was extremely sleep deprived and actually now I look back... I wish I spent less time caring and enjoyed the newborn phase more.

Also, before I gave birth, I didn't mind whether I formula fed or breastfed. However, I think with all the classes and how the nhs promotes breastfeeding, I felt like I needed to breastfeed. As well as people staring when you formula feed in public just made me feel like an incompetent mum. Like a stigma against formula.

I was unable to breastfeed both of my boys and both are thriving and in higher end of the percentiles. I also felt a lot of pressure to breastfeed which among other reasons ultimately led to PPD. Second time round, I didn’t even attempt it and it’s been a much better experience. Fed really is best ♥️

This was me too, eventually I did mostly bottle but a little breastfeeding first. Then after 8 weeks I stopped altogether. It was too stressful trying to maintain supply and so disheartening when I’d pump and get hardly anything. My baby is now only formula fed and it happy 😊

in our community

Hello everyone

Hey guys, I really don't want to be judged but could anyone help until the 2nd of September until I'm back at work? I feel horrible but I'm really struggling. I fully understand if not possible, it's noones problem but mine. Thank you ❤️

Spilt Milk

I know how the saying goes, but I am absolutely sobbing.
The jar had around 34 to 36 ounces..
my daughter is going to stay with her father tonight so I worked so hard yesterday to make sure I filled it up and then some, so that she would have what she needed.
We didn’t get good sleep last night. Half asleep this morning I go to fill up a bottle and this happens…
We have some frozen stock but this broke my heart.

Would you correct someone else’s pronunciation for your child? How do you feel about regional/international accents?

I bumped into a mother I know at a coffee shop. I have an unusual accent, because I’m ESL and I immigrated to the UK when I was 14 so I picked up a lot of london pronunciations but I don’t generally have trouble being understood.

Her son doesn’t have any speech issues or anything, he’s got a great vocabulary for 4. He is very friendly so he talks to me when we see them at the park or soft play, and he always seems to understand me.

I was speaking to my child in English and then suddenly I realised the other mother was correcting words I said for her son? I asked my daughter “do you want some water?” which I guess is like dyu wan some wata if I just say it quickly without thinking, and she said quite loudly “we would say WA-TER, do you WANT some WATER” and made him repeat it back twice.

Other words I heard her correct were cloth and cheeky girl, then I started to get self conscious and making an effort to enunciate better. I was so embarrassed, she was speaking quite loudly so she must have known I could hear her. But I like my accent, it still sounds a bit like where I come from. I don’t mind if my daughter hears it and learns it, my heritage is her heritage. We only see this woman occasionally (she’s a bit condescending so I try to avoid play dates) so I doubt my accent is rubbing off on her son.

It’s been a couple days and this is still sitting with me. It feels so out of line to do that in front of the person unprompted. As long as people understand each other, does it matter?

May have said something bad unintentionally

So a few weeks ago I went to see my cousins baby she's now 5 months old I held her once and interacted with her ect then gave her back to her dad they offered me to hold her again

It just came out and I said I'm okay I'm not really a baby person

I know some people love to hold baby's and cuddle but that not really me.

I wish I had t said it now I feel like a knob I just ment that's I was okay not to hold her again and that I would be more interactive once she's a lil older eg sitting up and crawling ect I find smaller babies quiet fragile I was even like this with my own , I didn't mean it wrong , how can I apologize or am I over thinking it

I didn't mean to offend them at all.

Unused Diapers

What can be done with unused diapers??
I have like ten boxes from my baby shower of various sizes that are still taped in the box

Sleep problems

Bit of a vulnerable post, and a long one so please bare with me.

I have a 9 month old now and for the past 5? ish months weve been having problems with napping. This has got steadily worse to the point now that it is just so so bad that my mental health cannot take it anymore and I now have ppd from the stress😒.

When I say we have tried everything, I mean absolutely everything. He will only sleep in mine and my partners bed with curtains drawn, some form of physical contact (usually hand on waist), fan on and shh'ing.

At night time he will sleep in his cot, however we have to get him to sleep in our bed and transfer after 20mins once hes in a deep enough sleep. Then one night feed. Maybe a few cries for the dummy but generally does stay asleep.

The daytime naps however are HELL. It used to be a regular ish wake window time that he would last but nap time would vary everyday, anywhere from 35mins to 2hrs. Suddenly in the past couple months he could start getting tired just 1hr after waking, whining like crazy, rubbing eyes etc. all his usual cues. Then on other days it could be 3hrs before you see those signs. Nap lengths have become more regular though, for around a month weve had 2x 1.5hr-2hr naps.

The problem is that he will absolutely fight to the death to avoid the nap. Once he crosses overtired territory, which happens fast, he just will not sleep. He also has this constant need to self regulate which stops him from sleeping rather than soothing himself. He wants to play with his feet, if hes not doing that he wants to play with his hands, if not that then playing with my hands, or flapping and hitting himself, or ripping my top, or clawing at my face.. you get the idea. This will go on from as long as 20mins to an hour and a half of trying to get him to sleep.

Weve tried everything from sticking to wake windows, to wake windows and capping naps, to putting him to sleep as soon as he shows a cue, to adjusting how long we send him to sleep after a cue, to sending him before he shows anything, to trying to tire him out. Absolutely nothing works. He is just in a constant state of overtiredness and irritability, even if we put him to sleep an hour and a half after waking.

The one thing I can say is we use a baby tracker app and he does sleep 12-14hrs a day, so he is getting enough sleep. The problem is getting him to sleep without wasting half of the day and not being able to make plans or do things without worrying if hes going to get overtired. We have no routine, nothing, and at 9 months surely that's not normal.

I am a student and going back to studying in September, which my parents will be looking after him 3 days a week. But how could i possibly leave him with them and trust that he will nap if even I cant get him to sleep most days??

Open to any suggestions, even though I've probably done it already. Or even someone to say theyve been through this would mean a lot.

If you got this far thanks for reading💕

- a stressed and depressed mummy🥺