Mental health with children

Hi, I am a single mum to three children (3, 5 & 7). I don’t have much family support & I don’t have friends. I am really struggling with my mental health at the moment. I know you’re not medical professionals but I’m very isolated and alone and I think having other mums advice would just help me. Iv had a lot go off in my life from my children’s dad who I was with for 8 years and split up 4 months ago. I never lived on my own before him, I went from living with my parents straight to getting a new place with him. Now 8 years later I’m in a new place on my own with my three children and I’m finding things tough. He isn’t involved in their life anymore which was his own decision.
I am overwhelmed all the time, stressed all the time, I have no patience. My mindset is so low and negative all the time. I hate everything about myself. I hate my life and how it’s turned out. I feel angry at the world and for making wrong decisions. My self esteem is the lowest it could be.

I have spoken to my gp who told me to self refer to counselling therapy. I did this but it’s a 9 month waiting list. I’m on the list but I just can’t imagine going another 9 months feeling the way I do. I couldn’t be completely honest with my gp in detail as I worry they’ll get social involved. I had the worse experience when I had postnatal depression with my first child 7 years ago and they got social involved and it made my life hell, no support at all except judgement and it made my mental health so much worse, I’d never trust them again.

I just want to feel happy again. I want to enjoy life again, enjoy spending time with my children. I feel like iv failed them and I feel like iv given up. I don’t know who I even am anymore. I’m just their mum. I miss being me.

Are there any support sites or apps that you know about…9 months seems so long when I’m struggling so much now.

Thank you if you’ve read this.

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Hey, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way! You have not failed your children in any way, you are fighting every single day to be the best for them and ensure they have the best life and that's all they could ever ask for. In terms of making wrong decisions, you can only ever do what you can with the information you had at that time so try not to beat yourself up for those decisions at a later point (easier said than done I know!); hindsight is a wonderful thing but you couldn't have acted any differently in the past as you didn't know what you now know ❤️

Are you on UC? There is a company you could send an enquiry to, they are a private company but get a lot of DWP contracts do if there is one in your area and you are on UC you could ask your work coach to refer you. Feel free to send me a private message in response if you prefer

Sorry to hear you’re struggling so much hun. From your post, you sound like you’re battling clinical depression tbh, and speaking from personal experience, I’m not sure a talking therapy is all you need. Ive been where you are and I think you may need antidepressants alongside a talking therapy to take the edge off of everything you’re dealing with.

I would book a GP appointment and be honest about your low mood with your GP. Just describe your low mood, and as long as you are not having homicidal thoughts of harming your children or others, there is no reason for your GP to involve social services.

Ask if you can be put on an antidepressant like Citalopram (that’s what I’m on and it has been a GAMECHANGER for my mental health) or Sertraline. They will probably start you on a low dose and see how you respond to it x

Try anti depressants and ask to be referred to social prescribers. They can call and speak with you

If you private message me I can be a support as I’ve been there.

Where in England are you based? Some non NHS services have shorter wait lists. If you tell me where you’re based I can have a look to see what I can find. Some may charge, but are subsidised so low cost, they usually have shorter lists.

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