I don't feel supported by my support system
Family dynamic has always been questionable. Very traumatic childhood, super dysfunctional- just experienced things no child or young person should experience and it did affect the way I interact with my family (mum and two sisters)
Anyways my family adore my son (only grandchild), love looking after him but I feel like an afterthought. I feel so selfish for it because the baby matters way more than I do but no one ever really asks me what I need. No one comes over anymore, I always have to go to them with him. I feel constantly criticised for my choices in terms of how I feed him, bedtimes etc - sometimes it doesn't feel like he's my child and honestly ive thought about ending my life and him just being with them would be better for him. Have been struggling with PND amongst other things and was told that I'd damage him emotionally which I don't wanna do which is the reason for these thoughts. I've been called manipulative and abusive for literally just struggling and having a mental health crisis and selfish when I've tried so say that my baby is mine.
I just don't really enjoy being around them anymore but don't have any other help
In the past when I've tried to talk about things that have hurt my feelings (especially around the birth of my son) I've been made to feel like the bad guy and my mum is very avoidant with feelings so I'm not allowed to talk about it and my son is 1 now and I just feel so heavy and resentful
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I wonder how many of your feelings would change if you separated yourself from your family.
If you're not in therapy, please look into it. You need help learning how to establish boundaries. Leaving your child in that way will never benefit him. It will actually haunt him for life and he'll never understand.
Hun.
You are doing nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong as a child. You deserved a family who loved and supported you. I'm sorry you weren't born into one.
They will never support you.
They are actually so detrimental to your mental health. You should seriously think about reducing or eliminating contact with them.
If you were not around, your baby would end up being abused and neglected just like you were. Your baby needs YOU.
Remind yourself as long as the health visitors/doctors/nurses said your child’s health and development is doing fine it means you are doing the right things and you can just ignore the unhelpful things the grandparent says. If you feel more stressed about leaving your child with the grandparents then they are not the right support for you. I am sorry, it’s a harsh reality to accept and that means you have to look in to getting paid childcare. Are you able to at least limit contact with your family?
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I don't feel supported by my support system
Family dynamic has always been questionable. Very traumatic childhood, super dysfunctional- just experienced things no child or young person should experience and it did affect the way I interact with my family (mum and two sisters)
Anyways my family adore my son (only grandchild), love looking after him but I feel like an afterthought. I feel so selfish for it because the baby matters way more than I do but no one ever really asks me what I need. No one comes over anymore, I always have to go to them with him. I feel constantly criticised for my choices in terms of how I feed him, bedtimes etc - sometimes it doesn't feel like he's my child and honestly ive thought about ending my life and him just being with them would be better for him. Have been struggling with PND amongst other things and was told that I'd damage him emotionally which I don't wanna do which is the reason for these thoughts. I've been called manipulative and abusive for literally just struggling and having a mental health crisis and selfish when I've tried so say that my baby is mine.
I just don't really enjoy being around them anymore but don't have any other help
In the past when I've tried to talk about things that have hurt my feelings (especially around the birth of my son) I've been made to feel like the bad guy and my mum is very avoidant with feelings so I'm not allowed to talk about it and my son is 1 now and I just feel so heavy and resentful
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