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Mental Health Friendship Struggle

Personal experience & struggles

I’m in my early 30s and have an 8-month-old baby. From the outside, my relationship probably looked like two people who were connected and in love, but in reality, we spent over three years dealing with misunderstandings and conflicts.

We planned for our baby for a year, so he was very much wanted, but the pregnancy was up and down, and since having the baby it has been a real rollercoaster of emotions, rejection and anxiety. I still struggle to feel connected to my baby, which makes me feel guilty, and the relationship with his dad ended a few months after the birth when he said we were incompatible. I completely agree now.

We still spend 24/7 around each other, which is incredibly difficult. Sometimes I feel like I’ve started to hate him.

I also have ADHD and dyslexia, which can make everything feel even more overwhelming, especially when I’m already exhausted. On top of being a mum, I’m also a student, so I constantly have university work and responsibilities to deal with. I feel like I have absolutely no time for myself or any real chance to switch off and recover.

I feel very alone and constantly stressed and low, and lately I’ve been wondering whether I might be experiencing postnatal depression.

I’m sharing this because I’m hoping to hear from other mums who may have experienced something similar. Did anyone else struggle to connect with their baby, feel completely overwhelmed, or feel like they had completely lost themselves after becoming a mum? ❤️