Family boundaries

My in laws are super helpful and well meaning and we generally have a good relationship. However lately I feel sometimes uneasy, my MIL will hover around when im trying to settle my daughter or put her to sleep. And then offer to take over if it is taking a while. I know this is just out of worrying that I'm tired and trying to help me relax and take the load off when possible. However I would rather just settle my daughter myself if needs be. Dont know how to deal with it without it being awkward

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No matter how you say it, it will be awkward. But be direct. Your baby will be picking up on how your MIL is making you feel. Just be honest x

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Just say I appreciate you wanting to help but it's making you quite anxious signing about.
Please go and make a cuppa and sit down. I will shout you if I need to swap :)

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My MIL touched my nipple the other day while reaching to touch my sons cheek while he was breastfeeding. I’m not even a hugger. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

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"I know you want to help but if i need you I will give you a shout" said with a smile. Or just sit down one day together and get it all off your chest x

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Family boundaries

My in laws are super helpful and well meaning and we generally have a good relationship. However lately I feel sometimes uneasy, my MIL will hover around when im trying to settle my daughter or put her to sleep. And then offer to take over if it is taking a while. I know this is just out of worrying that I'm tired and trying to help me relax and take the load off when possible. However I would rather just settle my daughter myself if needs be. Dont know how to deal with it without it being awkward

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5

Full time nanny

Do you cook lunch also for your nanny? how does it work when you are home and you all have lunch?

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7

Am I being irresponsible or is he being unreasonable?

So I’m trying to get dressed this morning in the master bathroom, and my one year old is playing in the master bedroom. I have the door open and I’m keeping an eye on her, but I’m going about my business brushing my teeth and what not. Now I’m NOT getting dolled up here —really just the minimum steps to get ready for the day. We have carpet and really there’s nothing she can get into in there. Sometimes she opens my dresser drawer and pulls out all the pants but .. whatever honestly. It makes her happy.

My husband is pissed saying I’m being irresponsible and the baby can pinch her fingers in our dresser drawers or fall into the furniture or whatever. He’s inventing about 10 different ways she’s going to hurt herself, but …. She’s fine. This is how I get ready everyday and really our room is pretty baby proofed in my opinion. I told him if he had an issue he is welcome to take a few minutes out of his day to watch her so I can get ready for once, but this is how I manage everyday and today is no different.

He is pissed saying he doesn’t have time for that because he has chores to do, he has to mow the lawn, etc etc etc.. so I say, FINE go do those things. The baby and I are good chilling right here minding our business like we do everyday! I’m a sahm and I watch her by myself 99.98% of the time. I have a good sense of what is safe and what’s a hazard by this point.

I also remind him that he has the luxury of sleeping in for an extra hour this morning while I took care of her. He got to workout this morning. He got to eat his breakfast in peace and then take a shower. Give me a break! I’m not even asking for help and I don’t care, but don’t you dare criticize me when you don’t even watch the baby.

Am I really being irresponsible for letting a one year old play in the next room while I get ready? Or is he being unrealistic because he doesn’t even know what it’s like to take care of a baby by himself?

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13

My son who is 3, is going to forest school nursery & he’s never been away from us before! :(

I work 3 days per week and my mum/dad has him as they’re retired.
He starts reception in September 27, so I thought it would be good to get him used to being in a setting so enrolled him into nursery 5 days per week 9-12 (they wouldn’t let me do any less days due to there funding)
As I did want him to go just 3.
He keeps saying to me he doesn’t want to go as he doesn’t know anyone and he feels scared & it’s breaking my heart! But I’m scared if I don’t send him he’ll struggle going to reception as it’s a big change???

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9

How do kids go through phases

Like the spiderman or cars or Toy Story I might sound dumb af here but how do they get into it so bad? What if they don’t? Then what?😂

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5

Feeling stuck

My husband and I have a pretty significant age gap, and lately I’ve been questioning whether we’re becoming disconnected because we’re simply in different places in life.

I’m currently pregnant with our second child. Going into this pregnancy, I honestly thought it would bring us closer together. Instead, I feel farther away from my husband than I ever have. Most days I feel more like we’re roommates, parents, and people managing a household together than husband and wife.

There isn’t one huge event that caused this. It’s more like a collection of things over time. We’ve had issues surrounding trust, boundaries with other women/social media, communication, and my own insecurities. But underneath all of that, I think my biggest fear is that my husband wants something more or different out of life that I simply cannot give him.

The problem is that I don’t actually know what that “something” is.

Sometimes I wonder if he even knows. Other times I wonder if he knows exactly what he wants but doesn’t have the communication skills to tell me. And then there are times when I wonder if I’m creating an explanation for his distance because I don’t understand it.

I don’t expect marriage to constantly feel romantic or exciting, especially while raising children and preparing for another baby. But I also don’t want to spend years feeling like I’m simply coexisting with my husband.

The age difference makes me question things even more. Are we experiencing normal marital disconnection during a demanding season, or are we discovering that we’re at fundamentally different stages of life and want different things?

I love him and I’m not looking for people to immediately tell me to get divorced. I’m trying to understand what can actually be repaired.

For people who have gone through a “roommate phase” in marriage: what helped you reconnect?

How do you get a spouse who isn’t a strong communicator to actually talk about what they’re missing or wanting?

And if you’ve been in an age-gap marriage, did the difference in life stages become more noticeable once children, responsibilities, and everyday life took over?

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