I’m at my wits end with my almost 5 year old ….
It’s getting harder and harder for me to take care of him. He didn’t receive ABA therapy because they make things hard for a parent . Waiting lists or not the insurance that they want. Anyways he’s starting to use my 2 year old as a punching bag when he doesn’t get what he wants. I used to take his tablet away as discipline but doesn’t look like it works or time outs. He pushed his brother 2 times today scratched my arms up pretty bad. I showed him what he did so he could understand that it was wrong instead he smiled at me and did it again. I put him in his room took the tablet from him he’s on timeout for 30 min. I’m sooo tired he did try to bite me but he couldn’t he also threw the tablets on the floor because he couldn’t use his which was his brothers new tablet and his dads. Things are cheap I’ve replaced many tablets now and one tv. He’s only going to get older and idk what to do anymore. I’m waiting on the school for a response on what program he’s going to be in and I’m just going to have to look on also behavior therapy.
Any tips for now ?
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Take him to therapy asap, he’s so young and it’s going to be more difficult, even dangerous as he grows, especially for his younger brother, if this continues.
They need to figure out why the behavior is occurring. He might need a psychiatrist depending on what the therapist says, but therapy immediately, seriously. Monitor what he’s looking at on the iPad and tv too. There’s a chance he could be copying behavior.
Can I ask what state you live in?
No tablet anymore at all. Therapy. A child at my sons daycare is similar and they started putting him in one of those fruit boxes thats very low edges. He starts calming down. Instead of a timeout, maybe he needs a personal space area. If he uses the tablet, download videos about behavior with songs and stuff and turn the internet off so he cant do anything else. No games either. Playdough or something squish and poundable..maybe even baking bread so he can kneed it. Get him doing other things that are kind of aggressive but safe maybe.
I work with kids in children's homes who have adhd, autism and other learning difficulties. (To be honest you've probably done it all before. However any advice is helpful?)
Every behaviour needs a set consequenence. If boundaries are ever flex they will run rings around you. Never go back on a boundary even if you react to harshly in the moment follow it through.
I use any device/TV as something that they earn. I would take this away for days if I needed too.
Boundaries are everything never go back on them. Have clear expectations write them down he budges on them put in the same consequenence each time. You hurt your sibling you make him a card.
Some type of reward system for both children, ask what they would like at the start of the weekend, if he doesn't get the reward and the siblings does make sure you make it clear how well they have done. He will soon realise good gets good.
No positive activities happen at all unless theirs good behaviour. Firm calm voice, no shouting. X
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So the main question this pole is here for is... should i say something?
Another question but comment your answer please.. should I get the ada involved?
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I’m at my wits end with my almost 5 year old ….
It’s getting harder and harder for me to take care of him. He didn’t receive ABA therapy because they make things hard for a parent . Waiting lists or not the insurance that they want. Anyways he’s starting to use my 2 year old as a punching bag when he doesn’t get what he wants. I used to take his tablet away as discipline but doesn’t look like it works or time outs. He pushed his brother 2 times today scratched my arms up pretty bad. I showed him what he did so he could understand that it was wrong instead he smiled at me and did it again. I put him in his room took the tablet from him he’s on timeout for 30 min. I’m sooo tired he did try to bite me but he couldn’t he also threw the tablets on the floor because he couldn’t use his which was his brothers new tablet and his dads. Things are cheap I’ve replaced many tablets now and one tv. He’s only going to get older and idk what to do anymore. I’m waiting on the school for a response on what program he’s going to be in and I’m just going to have to look on also behavior therapy.
Any tips for now ?
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Anyone else's husband always look busy but doesn't seem to be actually helping?
Like I appreciate he may be doing jobs that are on his todo list in his mind, but nothing that is actually helpful in the moment. It seems like he can't prioritise.
For example we have a 5 month old baby and a 3 year old. Our 3 year old goes to nursery in the mornings. My husband is off work atm, I'm a SAHM, so we are both around.
This morning, I wake up at 6:30 with baby, take her downstairs so she doesn't wake everyone, feed her, change her, dress her. At around 7:00 I make my 3yos breakfast so it's ready for him when he comes downstairs. He wakes around 7:15 so I go get him and bring him down. My husband also comes downstairs at this point.
I help my son with his breakfast, baby is in her swing for now.
I make up my sons bag for nursery, fill his water bottle, I clean and put baby's bottles in the Steriliser, I dress 3yo, I take him upstairs to use the toilet, brush his teeth and wash his face, I style his hair.
I then come back downstairs and immediately smell that baby has pooped, so I say to my husband can you not smell that? He says no. I change babies nappy again.
I tell my son to go get his shoes on, I get the pram unfolded for baby. My husband finally appears to help 3yo with his shoes and jacket, puts his own shoes on and then just stands around. I put baby in her pram etc, we all get outside to leave just on time and then my husband is like oh I need to pee 🤦🏻♀️ What was he doing all morning? The recycling was sitting on the kitchen ledge, he didn't take that out. He didn't put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, I don't actually know what he was doing? Like he just sort of faffs?? Makes cereal for himself and looks at stuff and just sort of *exists*.
Yes I can ask him for help, and sometimes he will help more without asking, but it makes me so annoyed to have to ask in the first place. I'm already busy managing our morning so we aren't late, we both have the same responsibilities, we both know what needs done, idk why I need to be the family manager.
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