Looking for some opinions/advice because I genuinely don’t know what the best thing to do is.

Me and my baby’s dad were together for 5 years. We broke up in April while I was pregnant, and within the same month he had a new girlfriend.

Since we broke up, he’s barely contacted me or checked in to see how me or the baby are doing. We’ve gone months without speaking and I’ve basically been going through the pregnancy, appointments and preparing for our little boy on my own.

He’s said he wants to be involved once the baby is born, but he’s also told me he wants a paternity test when he’s here. I know people can ask for that reassurance, but after being together for five years and knowing there’s no question in my mind about who the father is, it has obviously hurt me.

I’m also finding it difficult that he moved on and got into another relationship so quickly after our five-year relationship ended, especially while I’m pregnant. I understand that we’re no longer together and he’s entitled to move on, but it’s a lot to process alongside everything else.

I don’t want my feelings towards him or his new relationship to influence decisions about our son. At the same time, I feel like being a parent starts before the baby is born, and I’m struggling with the idea of him having very little involvement throughout the pregnancy but then expecting everything to change once the baby arrives.

I’m also unsure how to approach his new girlfriend being around my baby.i have never met her before and have no idea who she is.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do? Would you let him take the lead and see whether he actually makes consistent effort once the baby is born? How would you deal with the paternity test and his new girlfriend?

I’m not looking to keep my son away from his dad. I just want to protect my peace, set sensible boundaries and make decisions that are genuinely best for my baby rather than making them because I’m hurt.

in our community

Baby moon but partner didnt plan anything

All pregnancy my partner knows how much a bavy moon meant to me, for us to have quality time before baby comes. Even earlier in the year he had an accident which meant we can’t leave the country fine but we had been speaking the past couple months at least about doing something like even a staycation locally away. I said that it would be nice if he planned it he said yeah he will. He told me two weeks ago which weekend he would be free ( weekend just gone)

Weekend came I wanted to see if he would bring it up and nothing at all we didnt go anywhere or do anything. He even went out with his friends Sunday evening. I stayed quiet just see will bring up anything in the slightest but no, So I brought it up lastnight he said to me “ oh its Tuesday now ur why ru only bringing it up now you didn’t mention anything all weekend yourself, and that I could have said something but I said “ You were the one planning it, it’s your job to tell me “ Then he says “ Oh, to do it now ( Im 39 + 4) doesn’t make sense your water might break , I then said “ Well Obviously now wont make sense but there was no consideration of saying anything or plans are off, it was your plan you chose this weekend”

he said he didnt really want to do it but was gonna do it for me he said ‘ i heard you, and cool’ i was thinking wow is that all? This is really how my feelings this was the one thing I was looking forward to pregnancy.

I asked him is that all you have to say ‘ cool’ and he looked me dead in the eye and said yeah. Something about that look and response just cut me deep.

The argument erupted he got pissed of that i brought it up when he was eating his dinner - but it was just a normal conversation if he didnt want to have it he could have said can i finish my food first.

He said im selfish and childish for bringing up ‘ nonsense’ now when hes eating and now he doesn’t wanna eat etc. conversation basically ended.

Im so over him and fake promises, isnt this wrong of him , advice please 😭

Therapist said I need to make more friends

So here I am shooting my shot 🥰💕😊

Returning to work after Mat leave…

Had my first day back to work as a teacher yesterday. My baby is just over 9 months. My partner and family all work shifts that change daily or weekly so my little one is in nursery 4 days a week and I get one day off with her.

I know it’s only been one day but I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I missed my baby and felt like an awful mum for not being with her. Equally I don’t know how I will be a very good teacher anymore because all I care about is going home to my baby.

I guess I just want know others experiences so I know I won’t feel this rubbish about it forever 😢

Would/have you left your baby in hospital.

Hi, I’m in a position where my 10 week old has to stay in hospital for a few months - at least. I have my other child at home, whilst grandparents are amazing at being available… I’m missing them. I miss not being with them. Baby father works a lot and is unable to swap places with me even if he would like too. We need the money so unless I leave baby nothing will change.
Have you ever left a young baby in hospital whilst you stayed with their sibling.
Did you go back daily.
My other child staying with me is out of the picture.