How do you share chores with your hubby?
At home we mainly have our own set rules ( me cook, bins, clothes, dust polish m, windows), we both work full time but he earns double my salary so i just need to pay my half on the mortgage and contribute something to the credit card monthly. He covers the rest but I find because I have more WFH days I naturally do his roles, hoovering daily which is his job. I haven't mopped so he has something to do and he hasn't mopped in about 2 months for real! Since being pregnant he does cook more because in the early days the smell make me sick but he's only confident making pasta which is fine but boring after 7 months, so I do a bit more cooking now .. when it comes to our child I do much more and I notice it more now, make sure nursery bag is packed, dirty potty training clothes are actually emptied from the bag and washed lol.. make sure bath time is done and do bed time and whenever our toddler wakes up, make sure he has age appropriate toys and developmental toys.. I had to speak with my hubby the other day to say its not ok that he sleeps in till 7-8am every day and I'm up at 5-6 or whenever our son is the natural alarm clock whereas you can wake up naturally when his body feels rested, i haven'thad that luxury of a wake up past 7 in years. During the week day my son wakes around 6 and my husbands alarm goes off at 6 but he doesn't get up for our child I do and he continues sleeping till 6.30-45 or until I wake him up! I don't do it often because your not my child your a big man 🤨 but this stuff never really grated on me till now! He is getting bigger weight wise and I strongly believe hes becomes a couch potato with little energy or stamina the more weight he puts on but we are dur another baby in 7 weeks so I need him to be more onit with our son. Make sure hes having a varied diet not just cheesy pasta where are the veg! Not on your phone constantly while " playing" with our son. I do no phone, non interrupted play its important and shows genuine interest. He would leave our sons bed sheets for for ever where as I change it weekly or every 2 weeks is I forget but I think the bottom line is I have to be my husband reminder to do tasks in the house or do things i think he should know eg add veg to the food, change the bed sheets, you haven't hoovered in 2 weeks ect like come on why am I your personal reminder.
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Girl I could’ve written all this myself 🤣 it’s gotten better now though because I’ve kicked, screamed and cried about it during my whole pregnancy. I don’t pay any bills though. I think it’s odd that you pay half the mortgage and STILL have to do all that. It’s not fair. But anyways I’m due in a couple of weeks and can’t do much as i used to so I nagged so hard till he finally got it . He asked me to make a list but instead I hired a cleaner.
My husband does everything and I'm so grateful at first I was having to nag constantly but it all came down to communication really he just doesn't see what needs doing he can walk into the messiest grossest room and sit down and relax without seeing anything wrong with it. Eventually we sat down together and drew up a list of what are daily, weekly, monthly jobs i still cook every day and do a lot of the monthly jobs as he's just not as thorough with cleaning but all the laundry, washing up, hoovering, mopping is all his and he genuinely wants to be as helpful as possible he just needed to be told how as he was never taught growing up.
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Do you have a routine where one parent cooks while the other looks after the toddler?
I’m a stay-at-home mom, and my husband works from home or sometimes goes into the office. I’m with the 23 months old toddler all day, and after 5 p.m., when he’s mostly finished with work, I start cooking dinner.
And somehow, that’s exactly when he decides to call his family. 😂 The baby isn’t really included in the conversation, so while I’m cooking, I also have to entertain the toddler.
I’ve tried to bring this up, but he said what I’m saying is rubbish. Like, how am I supposed to cook and entertain the baby at the same time?
We ended up having a fight about it. I’m not saying he can’t talk to his family, but I feel like dinner time should be something we plan together, especially when there’s a toddler involved.
How do you guys handle dinner time? Do you have a routine where one parent cooks while the other looks after the baby?
10
How do people bring a new baby home when you already have a toddler?!
There is a 3 year and 1 weeks age gap between my children. I gave birth yesterday! Have come home this evening. Bed time has been diabolical. I don't know what I expected. But it wasn't this 😂
My 3-year-old is freaking out every single time the baby is crying. My exhausted husband is in the 3-year-old's room trying to get him to sleep and failing. It's now 3am. My newborn won't go in there next to me and is crying a whole bunch due to lots of new surroundings and smells etc. To be expected? Maybe! But how the hell do people do this 😂 I had a C-section yesterday. In a whole bunch of pain. Looking like no sleep will be had by me. Feel worried! Any tips?!
5
How do you share chores with your hubby?
At home we mainly have our own set rules ( me cook, bins, clothes, dust polish m, windows), we both work full time but he earns double my salary so i just need to pay my half on the mortgage and contribute something to the credit card monthly. He covers the rest but I find because I have more WFH days I naturally do his roles, hoovering daily which is his job. I haven't mopped so he has something to do and he hasn't mopped in about 2 months for real! Since being pregnant he does cook more because in the early days the smell make me sick but he's only confident making pasta which is fine but boring after 7 months, so I do a bit more cooking now .. when it comes to our child I do much more and I notice it more now, make sure nursery bag is packed, dirty potty training clothes are actually emptied from the bag and washed lol.. make sure bath time is done and do bed time and whenever our toddler wakes up, make sure he has age appropriate toys and developmental toys.. I had to speak with my hubby the other day to say its not ok that he sleeps in till 7-8am every day and I'm up at 5-6 or whenever our son is the natural alarm clock whereas you can wake up naturally when his body feels rested, i haven'thad that luxury of a wake up past 7 in years. During the week day my son wakes around 6 and my husbands alarm goes off at 6 but he doesn't get up for our child I do and he continues sleeping till 6.30-45 or until I wake him up! I don't do it often because your not my child your a big man 🤨 but this stuff never really grated on me till now! He is getting bigger weight wise and I strongly believe hes becomes a couch potato with little energy or stamina the more weight he puts on but we are dur another baby in 7 weeks so I need him to be more onit with our son. Make sure hes having a varied diet not just cheesy pasta where are the veg! Not on your phone constantly while " playing" with our son. I do no phone, non interrupted play its important and shows genuine interest. He would leave our sons bed sheets for for ever where as I change it weekly or every 2 weeks is I forget but I think the bottom line is I have to be my husband reminder to do tasks in the house or do things i think he should know eg add veg to the food, change the bed sheets, you haven't hoovered in 2 weeks ect like come on why am I your personal reminder.
7
9mo teething and I'm deeply concerned about my mental health...
My baby has always been very calm and happy, he's perfect and lights up my life. He still hasn't slept through the night, but he used to wake 3 times from 7pm to 7am, which was manageable. But this past month, it's been a little crazy, he's got 3 teeth popping at the same time, and the exhaustion I feel has affected me a lot more than I ever thought.
I used to struggle with self harm, and the urge to take all of my frustration and anger on me has been very hard to repress. Yesterday I scratched myself so hard, and felt so fucking guilty, bc I did it in front of my baby, and bc I was so so so tired and he was fighting his nap. He's such a good baby. He deserves a better mom. I'm trying SO HARD to be better, to be the best I can be, but feel like I'm failing all the time.
I can't talk about this with anyone, is someone else going through something similar? Please don't judge me.
6
Is he gaslighting me? Or am I actually the issue ?
So I've been having some issues with manning the kids by myself lately. My husband started a new job and hes on night shift. I also work full time, am 15 weeks pregnant, and take care of our kids. At the moment his only focus is work. He works 12 hours shifts it's hot I get it. But even before he went on nights all the had to worry about was work. I'm completely handling everything else alone. We are living with my grandparents at the moment. Everything that could
Go wrong has went wrong in the last month. What im getting at, I have reached out to him 3 or 4 times now, literally broke down crying to him about how I feel and how im not handling anything very well. And twice were over text and he ignored both. Once he was at work. Later I found out he gets like 30 minutes and
Hour of down time to goof off at work. And once was at home. The other two were in the car. And I'm in full blow crying I need help mode. And he says im hormonal. Or to stop being manic. Then doesnt say a single word after. Then denies ignoring me. Or neglecting me. I wanted a divorce at the beginning of the year. This us how he has always treated me. I served him the papers and he changed. Fast. And for once the change stuck. Then I got pregnant. And hes back to normal.. am I crazy???? I dont see a way out anymore guys and im at my limit.
6
I'm confused not sure what to do..
Me and my partner had a fight on his part.. all I was trying to do is communicate with him cause communicate is key right? Well he got so mad at me asking the same question over and over that he keep avoiding. He went outside i went outside to see if he would answer much yet he keep telling me shut up and all. Keep avoiding it then he got in my face and said sometimes I want to hit you and ball up his fist never hit me. But did push me to the ground. Then he said he didnt reliezes I was that close i called BS. He said he starting to hate me. A big word I can't spell or don't understand what it means. I don't know what's wrong with him. We never could communicate during our relationship everything I say he thinks im picking a fight. When all I want to do is have a conversation.
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